Shattered Glass
by jfryman
Summary: Bella and Edward grew up together. Bella loves Edward, has since eighth grade. They are best friends and Edward is constantly breaking Bella's heart. She forgives him because she hopes that one day he will see her for more than a friend. All human.
1. Prologue

**Prologue**** – BPOV**

He didn't hug me goodbye and tell me that he would miss me. He didn't show any emotion that his best friend, well more than best friend at one point, was leaving for college. Instead he waved as my dad drove me off. I could feel the tears running down my face.

The weeks leading up to this we had been distant. I honestly thought he didn't want me as his best friend anymore – that I wasn't good enough to be his friend. He had reconnected with his precious new girlfriend and I was moving 3,000 miles away to go to the school of my dreams. He was staying in Washington.

I had always loved him, and he said he felt the same. He was freaking Edward Cullen and I was Isabella Swan. I was lucky he still associated with me after he became Mister Popular our freshman year – even with my success in running I still wasn't a part of his social circle – I had burned too many bridges. We went though our rough patches, but he was always there for me, and I there for him.

We started off best friends in elementary school. He was there when I found out my mother had died – he was there holding me telling me he would always love me no matter what – he was the one that I had given my soul to. There was no one else for me. I would wait – someday he would realize what he was missing.

His sister was my best friend in the whole world and his brother was the older brother I never had. I had our whole life planned out and now it was gone. I thought he would go to Dartmouth with me – it was all he talked about before she came along and now I was losing him. I had lost my best friend these last few months. He pulled away from me completely. He insulted me in front of his new girlfriend and friends and I cried myself to sleep for weeks. I couldn't look at him no matter how hard he tried to apologize – my heart had been ripped out of my chest.


	2. Chapter 1

**Chapter 1 – Friends Forever**** – BPOV**

"Are you sure you want to do this Bella?"

"Edward you are my best friend. I have to do this. You taught me how to play and I just have to show everyone how good I am."

"Well then I'll be there – front row – with tomatoes, the night of the talent show."

"Really Edward – you are really going to be there?"

"I promise Bella. I will be there."

It was the end of our eighth grade year and I had been dying to show off my mad singing skills. Edward had spent hours on end teaching me to play the guitar. Of course I wasn't that great yet but I knew that I practiced solid for the next month straight I would be ready in time for the talent show.

"Come on Bella, can we give it a rest for the rest of the weekend? I just want to go hang out."

I set down my guitar and frowned at him, "Fine."

The rest of the afternoon we spent lying in his back yard in the hammock. I was in love with Edward – had been since the first day I met him, but I was five then and you don't realize anything when you are in Kindergarten.

"Bella?"

"Yeah Edward?"

"I can tell you anything right?"

"You know you can."

"I was thinking about trying out for Lacrosse at the end of the summer."

I sat up and looked down at him, "That's great Edward. You are a natural. They would be missing out if you didn't make the team."

He wrapped his arms around me and I felt such a strong pull to kiss him, but instead I buried my face into this chest.

"We won't stop being friends next year will we?"

"Never Bella. You are my best friend and always will be."

"Ditto," I murmured into his chest.

I rolled onto my back next to him, "So when did you decide that you wanted to try out?"

"Just recently."

"Edward…"

"Okay okay. You inspired me actually."

"Me?"

"Yeah you. Bella you don't see yourself very clearly do you?"

I laughed, "Oh yeah. Behind these braces and glasses is just a beautiful girl waiting to blossom," I joked.

It was true – I was hideous. The braces were inevitable and the glasses hid my big brown eyes. Just then Edward pulled my glasses off my face.

"Honestly Bella if you would just get contacts."

I groaned, "How many times have we had this conversation Edward?"

"I've lost count."

"I like my glasses."

"But your eyes Bella. You have such beautiful eyes."

I felt my heart beat pick up then. My breathing quickened and I felt a lump form in my throat.

Before I could even respond Emmett came running at us at full speed. He slammed into us sending us flying out of the hammock. Edward and I flew about five feet in the air before crashing into the ground. My head slammed into Edward's right knee and I could feel the darkness pull my under as Edward called my name over and over.

I don't really remember much after that. I think Carlisle came out and carried me into the house while Esme scolded and grounded Emmett.

"I was just trying to scare them," he pleaded.

When my eyes eventually opened, my head was pounding. I was vaguely aware that it was dark out. I sat up and the room spun around me. I collapsed back onto my pillow and groaned – my head was throbbing.

"Bella?"

I turned my head to see Edward staring at me.

"You're awake!"

I nodded and instantly regretted it.

"Let me go get my dad."

"Kay," I mumbled.

He flew from the bed and within minutes the lights flashed on, blinding me. I quickly closed my eyes and threw the blanket over my head.

"Sorry Bella," Carlisle said as he turned the lights back off.

"Thank you," I whispered as I pulled the blanket from my face.

He flicked on a small bedside lamp next to me and sat down.

"How are you feeling?"

"My head hurts."

"You sustained a slight concussion Bella. You've been out for several hours."

"Can I get something for the pain?"

He nodded and handed me some pills and water. I quickly swallowed the pills and anxiously waited for them to take effect.

"Let me know if your head starts feeling worse, you get dizzy, or anything okay?"

"Okay, thanks Carlisle."

"Get some rest you two. You're lucky that tomorrow is Sunday."

When Carlisle left, Edward crawled back into bed with me.

"I was really worried Bella. You hit my knee so hard then you just slumped over."

"I'm sorry."

"Why are you apologizing? Emmett is the one that caused all this."

"He was just being Emmett, Edward."

"He could have really hurt you Bella."

"The only person that can hurt me is you, Edward."

"What's that supposed to mean?"

"Nothing. Forget I said it."

He shrugged and rolled over, "Night Bella."

I could feel the tears well up in my eyes. Why was I being so irrational? Maybe that bump to the head had knocked some screws loose.

The next morning I woke up with severe nausea and the room was spinning around me. I rushed to the bathroom only to run into the dresser at full speed. I fell backwards and ended up crawling my way to the toilet where I let loose.

Alice was at my side instantly, "Bella!"

She gathered my hair and rubbed my back. I eventually passed out. I think Alice tried to catch me but her tiny frame was no match for me. I crashed onto the floor, slamming my head into the cold, hard linoleum.

The next few days passed in a blur. I was still at the Cullen's, but that was because I only refused to go to the hospital. I missed an entire week of school but since Alice was in all of my classes, as well as Edward, I was covered.

"Bella, would you mind telling me why Edward is acting like such a dick to everyone?"

I shrugged, "I haven't really spoken to him Aly."

"He hasn't been up to see you? But you are in his room… at his request!"

"I think he sleeps on the couch Aly."

"What an arrogant ass!"

I giggled, "Alice he is your brother."

"Will you talk to him Bella?"

"Why?"

"Because you are his best friend."

"Well he isn't acting like a best friend right now."

"That is why I am concerned Bella!"

"Fine!"

After supper Edward tried to sneak into his room while he thought I was sleeping.

I rolled over and faced him, "Hey."

He didn't even look at me, "Hey."

"I've missed you."

"Alice has been giving you plenty of company."

"But she isn't you Edward."

He glanced at me. His eyes were hard and tired.

"And what exactly am I to you?"

I let out a breath I didn't know I was holding, "You're my best friend, that's what!"

He shrugged, "Best friends don't let best friends crack their heads open twice in one weekend."

Oh shit! He was feeling guilty. That explained everything now.

I reached out for him, "Edward come here please."

He shook his head and I could feel the tears in my eyes again. I rolled over onto my stomach and pressed my face into a pillow and let out a scream. I could feel the sobs overtaking my body as I shook violently. Why did this so hurt so much?

I wasn't sure if he was still in the room with me and frankly I didn't care anymore. His no cut straight through my heart and it hurt.

I eventually cried myself to sleep that night. Tomorrow was Friday and I was determined to not be here when Edward got home from school but when I woke up he was right there beside me.

"I was wondering when you were going to wake up Bella."

I groaned and rolled over so that I wasn't facing him.

"What do you want?"

I heard him swallow – hard.

"I wanted to apologize for how I've been acting."

"Whatever Edward. I don't need your heartless apologies."

I sat up and swung my feet off the bed. I went to stand up but his arm on mine stopped me.

"No Bella. Wait. I'm so sorry for this week. I was feeling guilty. Everything that happened was my fault."

I turned around and faced him, "Your fault? Edward, Emmett is the one who knocked us off the hammock!"

"But I should have been there for you in the bathroom Bella!"

"Edward, stop. No one knew I was going to pass out – not even Alice."

"But I would have caught you!"

"Stop it Edward!"

He flinched at my tone and released my arm. I stood up and turned around to face him.

"None of this is your fault. I really needed you this week but you were having a pity party for yourself and snapping at everyone who tried to ask you what was wrong."

"Bella…"

"No Edward! I needed you and you weren't here! Best friends are supposed to be there for one another."

His face fell, "I'm a lousy excuse for a best friend."

His attitude was really starting to piss me off.

I walked into the bathroom and changed into the first things my hands touched out of my bag. I stomped back out to the bedroom.

"I'll be out in the hammock. Let me know when my best friend is back so we can hang out."

I walked through the kitchen on my way out and grabbed some orange juice and a muffin. I had just finished my muffin when Edward came stalking out.

"Mind if I join you?"

"You done with that pity party yet?"

He only nodded.

"Then get your ass in here next to me."

Much of the morning we just rocked back and forth. It was around noon that Edward finally spoke.

"You want to practice your piece for the talent show this afternoon?"

"Yeah, that'd be fine."

I felt his arms wrap around me and I was home again. After we ate a quick lunch Edward and I went back to his room and started playing on the guitar. I knew what song I was going to perform but I wanted to keep it a secret.

We messed around all afternoon.

"You know Edward, you should really enter in the talent show."

"Yeah right Bella."

"I'm serious, you have a really nice voice when you choose to use it."

He blushed, "Whatever."

The next couple weeks flew by. The talent show was now only a day away and I was nervous. I couldn't believe I thought I could do this! I had practiced every free moment I had gotten but I still wasn't so sure I could pull this off.

"Bella you ready?"

"Be down in a minute dad!"

I was currently on my way to get contacts. I was going to really surprise everyone since I had just gotten my braces off and was now on my way to get contacts. I wanted to look good for Edward.

The next day at school I still wore my glasses. My braces were off but I tried very hard to not smile so no one would notice until the talent show that evening.

After school Alice came over and helped me get ready.

"Are you going to tell him tonight Bella?"

"I'm hoping he gets the hint through the song Aly."

"You know how dense my brother can be Bella. You need to just tell him how you feel."

I shook my head, "Not a chance. If it is meant to be then it will happen."

She rolled her eyes and continued to curl and pin back my hair. I rarely wore my hair down and I had never worn makeup. Tonight was a night of firsts – or so I'd hoped.

I glided down the steps and into the living room.

"Ready dad."

He looked up from his chair and his eyes grew wide, "Wow Bella. You look beautiful."

I blushed, "Thank you."

We all drove to the talent show and I was hoping the rain would hold off. I made my way backstage with my guitar and took a deep breath. I decided to sit in the corner by myself so I could collect my thoughts.

When my name was called, I hesitantly took the stage. I spotted all my family and friends in the front row – all but one. I felt a lump form in my throat but I quickly shook the thought from my head. He had to be here somewhere.

(Song and Lyrics by Taylor Swift – _I'm Only Me When I'm With You_)

Friday night beneath the stars

In a field behind your yard

You and I are painting pictures in the sky

And sometimes we don't say a thing

Just listen to the crickets sing

Everything I need is right here by my side

And I know everything about you

I don't wanna live without you

I'm only up when you're not down

Don't wanna fly if you're still on the ground

It's like no matter what I do

Well, you drive me crazy half the time

The other half I'm only trying

To let you know that what I feel is true

And I'm only me when I'm with you

Just a small town boy and girl

Living in the crazy world

Trying to figure out what is and isn't true

And I don't try to hide my tears

The secrets, all my deepest fears

Through it all nobody gets me like you do

And you know everything about me

You say that you can't live without me

I'm only up when you're not down

Don't wanna fly if you're still on the ground

It's like no matter what I do

Well, you drive me crazy half the time

The other half I'm only trying

To let you know that what I feel is true

And I'm only me when I'm with you

When I'm with anybody else

It's so hard to be myself

And only you can tell

That I'm only up when you're not down

Don't wanna fly if you're still on the ground

It's like no matter what I do

Well, you drive me crazy half the time

The other half I'm only trying

To let you know that what I feel is true

And I'm only me

Who I wanna be

Well, I'm only me when I'm with you

With you, oh, yeah

I finished the song, took my bow, and quickly exited the stage. I can't believe I had done it. There were only a few more performances after mine as I waited anxiously for the results. Finally it was all said and done with. Everyone took the stage. They called the third place winner, the second place winner, and then the runner-up winner. I stood there – hoping they would call my name for anything at all – they didn't.

"And this year's grand prize with a $500 dollars savings bond goes to… Ms. Isabella Swan. Congratulations my dear."

My head was swimming. I won? Me? Plain old Bella Swan? I was engulfed in hugs as soon as I made my way off stage. I scanned the faces of my family and friends in front of me and my heart dropped.

Alice pulled me into a hug, "I'm sure he has a good reason Bella."

I pushed away from her, "No! He promised he would be here!"

I glanced at Esme as the tears poured down my face. She shut off the camcorder, "He went out on a date Bella. I dropped him off at the movie theatre in Port Angeles before coming here."

I felt my heart drop, "He promised me." My voice was barely a whisper.

I threw my flowers to the ground and sprinted out of the auditorium. I ran outside into the pouring down rain. I threw my heels into my dad's car and grabbed a pair of sneakers that he kept in the trunk. I slid them on and tied them as tight as I could – and then I started running.

I'm not sure how far I went or where I was, but I was soaked to the bone. It was pitch black out and I didn't know which way to turn and I didn't care anymore. I looked around and saw nothing but pure blackness. The rain continued to pour but I knew I wasn't in the woods anymore. I had someone managed to make it to our meadow.

He promised me. He fucking promised me that he would be there. My heart was being torn from my chest. Why did I do this to myself? I knew he never saw me as anything more than a friend and here I was hoping that I at least had a chance with him.

I started to walk across the open land but I tripped and felt the snap in my leg as I crumbled to the ground.

"You promised me Edward. You promised you would be there," I mumbled before everything went black.


	3. Chapter 2

**Chapter 2 – Finding Guilty Comfort**** – EPOV**

I couldn't believe that I had a date with Tanya James. Tanya freaking James! She was a sophomore and a damn fine one at that. She was one of Rosalie's best friends and since Rose and Emmett were dating, she naturally had a thing for Emmett's younger brother.

I smiled to myself – how did I get this lucky?

I had my mom drop me off. She was all dressed up and headed back to the school for some strange reason.

"Don't worry mom, I'm sure Tanya can give me a ride home."

"Don't be out too late Edward."

"I won't mom. Love you."

I climbed from the car and found Tanya waiting for me. I held out my arm like a gentleman and she giggled. I don't remember much of the movie because Tanya was sucking my face off. She was my first kiss – and she was good.

After the movie I realized how late it had gotten and I had her drive me home.

"Tonight was fun Edward. Thanks for letting me take you out."

"Not a problem Tanya."

She grabbed my arm before I got out, "I just wanted to let you know Edward that you are a really nice young man. You are going to make someone very happy some day."

My face fell, "I hope so."

She sensed my tone, "Look Edward I'm sorry if I led you on. I just needed a night out. But you are too young for me. I'm sorry."

I nodded, "It's okay Tanya. Glad I could be of service."

She giggled and I kissed her hand good night. I was barely in the door when I ran into Emmett.

"Where in the hell have you been?"

"I was out on a date, why do you care?" He slammed me against a wall, "What the fuck Emmett?"

"Tonight was the talent show you idiot! The one you promised Bella you would be at!"

My promise came flooding back to me.

"_Well then I'll be there – front row – with tomatoes, the night of the talent show."_

"_Really Edward – you are really going to be there?"_

"_I promise Bella. I will be there."_

"That was tonight?" I swallowed hard.

He nodded.

I pushed away from him and went to grab the phone.

"She's not home."

"What? Why not? Did mom and dad take her out afterwards?"

He shook his head, "After she found out you weren't there she took off. We can't find her Edward."

I charged at him, "What do you mean you can't find her!"

He took my by the shoulders and slammed me against the wall again, "I mean because of you she took off into the woods and we can't find her. Maybe if you would have been there like you promised her, you would be the one out with at dinner right now."

"Why would I be at dinner with Bella?"

He punched me in face, "You are really fucking dense sometimes."

I pinched my nose as the blood came pouring out. He handed me a towel and grabbed me again. We were soon in the car headed towards Charlie's house. When we got there Emmett grabbed me and threw me onto the porch, "Wait there."

Soon enough my dad came walking up to me. He took the towel from my hands and looked at my nose.

"Well it's not broken, so that's good. You might want to get some ice from inside to help with the swelling. I expect that you might swell a little bit making it difficult to breathe."

I nodded, "Dad?"

He didn't answer me as he walked inside with me.

"Is this really all my fault? She took off because I wasn't there?"

"Well that is pretty much everyone's thinking right now. But as soon as we find her things will settle down."

I dug in the freezer and grabbed a bag of peas – it would work for now. I placed it over my nose.

"I'm so sorry. I forgot tonight was the talent show."

"Did you promise her you would be there?"

I was the one who nodded this time.

"Then how could you forget? She is your best friend – has been since Kindergarten."

"I know dad! I screwed up okay?"

"No, it is not okay. You should have kept your promise Edward – then we wouldn't be searching for Bella in the pouring down rain in the middle of the night!"

I slumped down into a chair and ran my fingers through my hair. I had really fucked this one up. I doubt Bella would ever forgive me.

My dad left. Everyone was searching for her, except me. Why would she run into the woods? There was only one spot that got us anywhere when we went hiking. We always ended up there no matter how lost we had gotten ourselves. My head snapped up and before I could think I was running.

I wasn't sure how I had found it but I did. It was so dark and idiot me didn't bring a flashlight. I stood there and let my eyes adjust to the open blackness. There was a crumpled pile not far from me and it was the only thing that wasn't black.

I slowly walked my way towards the heap but froze when I realize it was Bella. Her leg was twisted under her and she was lying on her side. I quickly knelt down beside and put my ear against her lips.

"Oh thank goodness you are breathing Bella."

I carefully untwisted her leg. She didn't make a sound – I knew she had passed out so I had to hurry. She was soaked through her beautiful navy dress. I had to laugh when I saw her dad's sneakers on her feet though – typical Bella.

I shrugged out of my shirt and wrapped it around her leg. I wasn't sure how much blood she had lost, but I had to get her back to Charlie's. I lifted her body and held her against my chest. I started walking again. I knew my way to Charlie's house blindfolded from here. We had made this walk so many times. My guess is that was where she was headed when she tripped.

It felt like forever as I carried her through the trees. When I was near her house I started calling out that I had found her. Within minutes everyone came running towards me. Carlisle looked at her leg.

"It's broken dad. I wrapped my shirt around it. I don't know how much blood she's lost."

Charlie came running up then. Carlisle lifted Bella from my arms.

"Where did you find her Edward?"

I looked my dad straight in the face, "Our meadow."

Then I felt the punch and the blood pour from my nose.

"Fuck, ouch!"

"Charlie!" My dad screamed.

"It's his fault and you know it!"

I fell to the ground, tears were starting to pour down my cheeks.

The next thing I knew I was in my dad's office at the hospital.

"This may hurt Edward but I need to set it."

I remember the pain and I think I let some cuss words slip as I blacked out. I awoke a few hours later on his couch.

I sat up, "Mom?"

"Right here Edward."

I turned to see her facing the window.

"Why didn't you tell me that it was the talent show? That's where you were headed and you let me go on my date."

"Edward I didn't know you had promised Bella that you'd be there. I just assumed that you didn't want to go."

I let my face fall into my hands as I began to sob, "I did this to her."

She sat next to me on the couch and wrapped her arms around me, "Did you expect anything else from Bella?"

I shook my head, "I can't believe I missed it."

"I taped it, if you would like to watch it."

I nodded as she pulled the camcorder from her purse.

"She was wonderful Edward. I'll leave you to watch it alone."

When she shut the door I hit play. I watched as an angel took the stage. There was no way that was Bella. Her hair was down, no glasses or braces, and she looked fucking incredible. I didn't know she had gotten her braces off and since when did she wear contacts?

I saw the look of disappointment in her eyes when she noticed I was not sitting with my family. But she recovered quickly and started singing. My heart plummeted into my stomach. She sang like a goddess. When had she gotten so confident? I listened to her sing – the lyrics came from her heart and you could tell she was putting everything she had into this song. When she was done she blushed and quickly exited the stage.

The next clip was here being announced the winner. She freaking won. I couldn't believe it. Then she made her way off the stage and looked around – she was looking for me. Her face dropped just as Alice pulled her into a hug. Bella suddenly pushed Alice away.

"No! He promised he would be here!"

She screamed it and looked straight at the camera, tears were pouring down her face – then the screen went black. The hurt in her eyes cut through my heart. I broke my promise to my best friend. I was such an asshole. I stood and walked out of my dad's office. Alice was the first one I ran in to.

I pulled her into a hug before she could say anything, "I'm so sorry Aly. I'm a piece of shit that doesn't deserve her friendship."

We both pulled back and she looked up at me, "You're right, but she's asking for you."

I took a deep breath, "Lead the way please."

***** BPOV *****

I woke up hours later in the hospital. I glanced down at the cast on my right leg, "Fuck."

I the looked over at my dad's stunned face.

"Sorry dad. I didn't mean to cuss. It's just this cast. I mean summer vacation just started and now I am stuck on crutches!"

He smiled and threw his arms around me, "It's good to have you back Bella."

"Where is he dad?"

I felt him harden and pull back.

"No Bella."

"Dad he is my best friend. I want to see him."

"No Bella. He's not good enough for you."

"What are you talking about? Dad he is my best friend!"

"Best friends don't do this to each other."

I flinched, "Please dad. I need to see him, talk to him. He must be worried sick."

He groaned, "I'm going to go home and get some rest now that I know you are awake. I will be back in a few hours."

"Fine."

He got up and trudged out. As soon as he left Alice walked in.

"Aly!"

"Oh thank goodness Bella! Why on earth would you do that to us?"

"Does he know?"

"Of course he does. He's in dad's office right now."

"Can I see him?"

"You honestly want to after what he put you through?"

I nodded, "He's my best friend Aly."

"Yeah, one who broke your heart."

I shook my head, "Stop please. I just want to see him. He must be so worried about me."

"He is. He's also the one that found you in the meadow."

"Edward found me?"

"Yeah. No one knew where you were. Emmett waited at home for Edward to get back from his date and then he drove him to your dad's house. He immediately knew where to find you and he did."

"Did Esme show him the video?"

"She said she was going to."

I flinched, "He should have been there – he promised."

Alice got up and left then. A few minutes later she pushed Edward in through the door. He slowly slinked around the side of my bed and pressed himself into the furthest corner of my room.

"Edward what happened to your face?"

He shrugged, "Emmett…"

"Emmett did that to you?"

He shook his head, "Emmett only bruised it. It was your dad that broke it."

"My dad punched you?"

"I deserved it Bella."

His eyes glanced down and he shuffled uncomfortably. I looked at my hands as I spoke.

"No you didn't Edward."

"I broke my promise Bella."

"I know Edward. I was there..."

"I didn't mean to hurt you Bella. You are my best friend. I was just so excited that Tanya had asked me out. I completely forgot. Turns out she was just using me anyway."

I felt a massive amount of guilt spread through me.

"Oh Edward. I'm so sorry."

His head snapped up, "You have nothing to be sorry about Bella."

I nodded, "Yes I do. My best friend had his hopes crushed tonight and it makes me feel sad."

He crossed the room in a second and sat on the edge of my bed, "You have no reason to be sad for me Bella. I was the one who made you feel like nothing. I saw your eyes Bella. The hope they had about tonight were quickly washed away as soon as you found out I wasn't there."

My face fell as the tears began to spill over my eyelids.

"I just really wanted you to see me. I wrote that song for you Edward."

"It was a beautiful song Bella. I could tell you sang it from your heart."

I nodded as the tears continued to roll down my cheeks. I refused to wipe them away.

"How could you forget Edward? That is what I am having the most trouble understanding."

"I'm an ass Bella. I forgot because it wasn't important to me. I didn't write it down or ask you to remind me or anything. I'm just selfish really. All I wanted was to impress Tanya and look where that got me. In the hospital with a broken nose and a broken best friend."

I shook my head, "You're not selfish. I should have reminded you."

He flew off my bed and ran his fingers through his hair, "Why do you keep apologizing Bella? I'm the one who did this to you. You're in here because of me."

I cut him off, "No – you saved me Edward. I would still be lying in that meadow if you hadn't of found me."

He groaned, "You are so selfless Bella. Here I am trying to apologize and make you feel better and you're the one making me feel better. That's really screwed up."

I shrugged, "It's who I am Edward. Take it or leave it."

He sat back down on the bed and laid down next to me, "I'm taking it. You're my best friend and somehow I will make this up to you."


	4. Chapter 3

**Chapter 3 – Abandoned Surgery**** – EPOV**

The next few hours Bella and I slipped in and out of sleeping. We spoke very little, just me being with her was enough.

Eventually my dad came in and sat down in the chair next to Bella's bed. He looked at us and sighed.

"What is it Carlisle?" Bella asked hesitantly.

"Well Bella, we looked at your x-rays a little more thoroughly and I'm afraid we are going to have to run a few more tests before I can be sure."

I tightened my hold around her shoulders, "I need surgery, don't I?"

My dad only nodded.

Bella took a deep breath, "Okay. When can I get the tests done because frankly Carlisle I want to go home as soon as possible?"

"I'll give you a few minutes alone before I take you."

Bella nodded and turned to face me.

"I'm going to be fine Edward."

I shook my head, "This is all my fault."

"How is breaking my leg your fault?"

"If I would have been there you wouldn't have had the chance to break your leg."

"Edward just because you weren't there doesn't mean that you caused my leg to break. I was the one who ran off."

"Because I wasn't there when I promised I would be."

"Stop, please. I'm not blaming you for this. My lack of coordination and balance has never been your fault and I'm not going to start blaming you now."

I sighed, "If I would have been there you wouldn't have been in the meadow Bella."

"Who knows Edward!" She sighed throwing her hands into the air.

My dad came in then and helped Bella into the wheelchair. She turned around to face me before she left, "Be here when I get back please?"

"I'm not going anywhere Bella."

She smiled and looked at my dad, "Ready when you are doc."

He chuckled, "We shouldn't be long Edward. Only about an hour."

That hour passed by very slowly. Alice came in as I laid in Bella's hospital bed. I felt so lonely without her next to me.

"How are you doing Edward?"

"I've been better Alice."

"You know this is your own fault, don't you?"

I nodded, "I should have been there."

"Yes you should have, but you weren't. My question is how are you going to make up for it?"

I sat up and looked at her shrugging my shoulders.

"Oh come on Edward, she is your best friend – has been since Kindergarten. You know what she likes."

"You think I can just buy her something Alice?"

"To start off with yes."

"What are you really getting at Alice?"

She sighed, "Edward do you know why Bella wrote and sang that song?"

I shrugged again, "She's my best friend Alice."

"You know for someone who studies music all the time, you sure as hell don't show it."

I looked at her, "What are you getting at?"

"Think about that song Edward, how she dressed, how she looked. You were always telling her that her eyes were beautiful and she shouldn't hide them behind her glasses."

"You're saying that she got contacts for me?"

"No Edward. I'm saying that Bella is really special and you should be lucky that she forgave you – Lord knows no one else has."

"I know she's special. She is my _best_ friend Alice."

"Are you sure about that?" She said as she walked out.

Sure about what? Of course Bella was my best friend – she always had been. There was no one else but Bella, we did everything together.

Bella was eventually wheeled back into the room. Carlisle helped her onto the bed but she remained silent. I pulled her into my arms and she began to sob into my chest.

I stroked her hair for a few minutes before I heard an enormously loud yell. I froze immediately and Bella's head snapped up. Charlie came charging into the room only seconds later.

"You did this to her. I should do more than break your nose!" He screamed pointing directly at me.

"Dad, back off!" Bella said firmly.

"How can you sit in the same bed with him after what he did to you?"

I was completely confused. Were they still talking about breaking my promise?

"Dad, stop please," Bella sobbed clutching onto me again. I remained frozen.

"I can't let you be friends with him Bella."

That was all it took.

Bella sat straight up in bed and acted as if she was going to stand. She slid to the edge of the bed and placed her feet on the ground.

"Don't you dare tell me who I can and can't be friends with! Just because you haven't forgiven him doesn't mean I haven't! He is my best friend and I need him now more than ever!"

Charlie seemed completely bewildered by Bella's tone of voice and demeanor.

He softened taking her hands into his, "I'm asking you to think about what you are saying. He is the reason you are in here right now."

She shook her head, "No he's not dad. I was the one who overreacted and ran. I was the one who tripped. It's not like Edward was secretly there and pushed me. _I_ broke _my_ leg and I am the one who did a damn good job at it."

Tears were in her voice now, she was crying again. Charlie wrapped his hands around Bella's shoulders.

"I can't lose you Bella. I don't know what I would do if I lost you."

She shook her head, "You won't lose me dad. It's just an operation."

"But you will be in the hospital for a month Bella. You are going to have to completely relearn how to walk again."

What were they talking about?

"I'm strong dad. In September we will look back at this and laugh."

He pulled her into a hug, "I love you kid."

"I love you too dad. At least you will know where I am at all times," she said laughing.

He nodded, "You got that right." He kissed her forehead and left the room, wiping his own tears as he left.

I helped her sit back down with me, "What is going on Bella?"

She wiped away her tears and looked up at me.

"Turns out the break is worse than they originally thought. I managed to hit some nerves and tear the surrounding muscles. I need surgery and am not allowed to put any pressure on my leg for four weeks. I will be in a complete leg cast until then. After four weeks I get a walking cast and I start physical therapy."

I pulled her into my arms, "This is all my fault, your dad is right. You shouldn't be friends with me."

She began to cry quietly into my chest, "Please don't say that. I really need you right now Edward. I have surgery in a few hours and I'm scared."

I wrapped my arms around her; "I'm not going anywhere until they let you out of here."

She looked up at me, "Really?"

I nodded, "I promise you that Bella. They are going to have to drag me out of here to get me to leave."

She smiled, "Good because I don't want you to leave me at all. I never want to be alone."

"Gosh you are so demanding. Do I even get bathroom breaks?"

That made her laugh. She slapped my chest, "Of course you do, but they can only be for two minutes – I plan on timing them."

***** BPOV *****

Shit! Of course I would need surgery. Leave it up to me to fucking break my leg the worst the state of Washington has ever seen.

Telling Edward was the hardest thing I have had to do in a long time. The look in his eyes told me the guilt he felt. I went into surgery with a heart drawn on my hand by Edward. It made my heart fly that it was his idea for me to keep his heart with me during surgery.

The next week I was in excruciating pain. Edward was with me through it all. Like he promised, he never left my side. My dad had gotten over his hatred and even apologized to Edward for punching him. I hated every second that I was in the hospital.

"Bella?"

"Yes Edward?"

"My dad said you could be released tomorrow."

"Really?"

He nodded, "He's talking to your dad about having you stay at our place."

"Because of the stairs?"

He nodded again.

"You won't leave me no matter what right?"

He shook his head, "Bella I promised you that I would be here for you."

I sighed. I was becoming entirely too dependent on his company. Later that afternoon I kicked him out of my room so I could have some girl time with Alice and Rosalie.

"You've been getting spoiled lately," Alice chirped.

Rosalie just giggled.

"Guys we are friends okay?"

"You know that you like him more than that Bella."

"I know Rose. Believe me I know but he doesn't feel the same way so I will just have to wait and catch his attention as soon as I can walk again."

We all laughed. I was fairly in a good mood about the whole possible chance of never being able to walk properly again. I think it was because no matter what I would have my friends through it all and that made everything okay.

"Why don't you just tell him?"

"I tried remember Alice and that got me here."

She sighed, "Maybe you should try a fairly less subtle attempt."

"What is that supposed to mean?"

"It means that while we got your meaning behind the song, Edward didn't."

"How do you know that Rose?"

Alice's face turned crimson.

"Oh Aly you didn't."

She shrugged, "Well not in so many words. We talked about your song and I yelled at him for being obtuse."

I sighed, "He really didn't get the meaning behind my song at all did he?"

They both shook their heads and I felt my heart drop.

"Well then I guess I will just have to try another song when I get better."

They both looked at me.

"Guys I can't just go up and kiss him. That's not me, okay?"

"Well maybe it should be Bella?"

All three of us jumped when we heard Emmett's voice.

"Emmett!" Rose yelled.

He just chuckled and joined us on the bed. He took my hands into his.

"Bella you need to tell him how you feel. We've all hinted at it. He doesn't see it because he doesn't want to hurt you."

I felt the tears well up in my eyes, "I can't, okay?"

"Why Bella? Why can't you just tell him?" Alice asked.

I snapped, "Because I don't want to face the rejection when he laughs in my face!"

All three of them were silent as I sobbed.

"My heart can't take that. Every touch is almost too much as it is. Being friends is easier than facing the rejection."

Emmett switched positions with Alice and pulled me into an embrace, "You don't know what he will do Bella, that is why you have to tell him."

I shook my head, "I can't. He needs to figure it out for himself and when he does I'll be waiting."

As Edward said, I went home the next day. My dad had agreed to letting me stay with the Cullen's until I was able to go up and down the steps with crutches by myself. The only downstairs bedroom was transformed into a beautiful bedroom for me.

"Esme you know you didn't have to go to all this trouble."

She leaned down to hug me, "Of course I did Bella."

I felt a few tears escape my eyes and I quickly wiped them away. Alice helped me get settled in.

"So you should be set for a few weeks then Bella. Hopefully by then you can master those crutches by yourself."

I laughed, "You think I could maybe get out of the wheelchair first there, Aly?"

She laughed with me and jumped into my lap, "Where are we going?"

I laughed even harder, "Well considering I can only maneuver around on the main floor that leaves the living room, kitchen, or dining room… unless you want to stay in here?"

I made my way slowly into the living room with Alice still in my lap.

"She just got here Alice and you are already making her drive you everywhere!" Emmett joked.

Aly just laughed and hopped up from my lap, "Whatever Em. Don't you have something you need to be doing?"

He just chuckled as he walked out. Aly and I spent the remainder of the afternoon watching the television. Supper was the first time I had seen Edward all day.

Aly wheeled me to sit next to him.

"Where have you been all day? I thought you would be here when I got home from the hospital?"

"I'm sorry Bella. Practices just started if you're considering joining the Lacrosse Team next year."

I sighed, "Oh Edward… I forgot. I'm sorry. How did it go?"

"Not good considering I've been dormant in a hospital room for a month."

I let my head fall. My hair sheeted around my face as a few tears escaped my eyes. I excused myself from the dinner table without saying another word to him. Why would he say it like that?

I hoisted myself into my bed and sobbed quietly into a pillow. Alice joined me about thirty minutes later with some leftovers that Esme had made for me.

"You need to eat something Bella. You need your strength to start physical therapy tomorrow."

"Why bother Alice?"

Her face fell, "Does he have anything to do with why you left supper so abruptly?"

I nodded. I told her what Edward said to me. It was about ten seconds later that she ran from my room screaming at the top of her lungs for Edward.

I rolled over and buried my face into my pillow, letting more tears fall.

"Now you get in here right now and explain then!"

I heard Alice dragging him into my room.

"Bella, Edward has something he would like to say to you."

"I don't want to hear it." I barely got the words out through my sobs.

Edward was on the bed next to me then. His hands were rubbing my back softly.

"Bella I didn't mean the way it sounded."

My head snapped up, "What? For me forcing you to stay with me?"

"No Bella. I wanted to be there."

"You didn't make it sound that way."

"I'm sorry Bella. Honestly."

I looked into his green eyes and saw the hurt in them. I immediately felt guilty for making him think that I was mad at him.

"It's okay. I guess I am just sensitive right now. You made it sound like you regretted staying with me."

"Never Bella. You are my best friend. I want to be there for you as much as I can. Practices are just starting and I am so out of shape."

"I know how you feel."

He laughed, "Yeah but you have a reason." He said as he pointed to the large brace on my right leg.

I nodded, "Don't remind me. It would be easier if they just chopped it off."

That night I feel asleep in his arms but when I woke up in the middle of the night he wasn't there. I fell back asleep but it wasn't restful.

The next few weeks were much the same. Edward stopped by when he could but he was so exhausted from working out with Emmett and his practices that he slept every chance he got. Physical therapy had started for me and I was in so much pain that I just wanted my best friend there to hold me. I needed him and he wasn't holding up to his end of the promise.

My dad visited me every single day and even stayed for supper a couple nights a week. Finally when August hit Edward seemed to come around. I hadn't really seen him lately, except for at supper. His physique had dramatically changed. I think he had grown taller too. He was less lanky and more defined. I caught him without his shirt on and it made my mouth water. He was turning into a god.


	5. Chapter 4

**Chapter 4 – Best Friends Support**** – EPOV**

Well the worst parts of the summer were over. I had basically dropped Bella, which made me feel horrible but I had to do this. This was my only shot at being good at something. Emmett started working out with me and soon I had turned my non-existent muscles into defined ones. I was getting taller too, that I was thankful for.

It was now August and Bella was getting really good at using her crutches. My dad said that she was making excellent progress and would get to go home soon. I felt guilty because I had spent the last month focusing on me when my best friend needed me. Why did I keep doing this to her?

She crutched her way up the steps and into my room. She sat down on my bed and smiled at me.

"Looking good there muscles."

I blushed and quickly put on a shirt.

"Thanks Bella."

"If you keep that up the cheerleaders won't be able to keep their eyes off of you."

I smiled, "I guess."

Her eyes flickered slightly but she composed herself and looked at me with her deep brown eyes.

"Um, I have been working on a song."

"So that was the racket I heard at all hours of the night?"

She blushed, god she was beautiful when she did that. Wait Bella? Beautiful?

"When I couldn't sleep I did something that made me feel good."

I nodded, "Oh."

"I would like to play it for you…" She trailed off.

"I would love to hear it Bella."

She blushed again and I couldn't stop staring at her. When did my vision change of her?

She picked up my guitar and ran her fingers along the strings.

(Song and Lyrics by Taylor Swift – _Jump then Fall_)

I like the way you sound in the morning

We're on the phone and without a warning

I realize your laugh is the best sound

I have ever heard

I like the way I can't keep my focus

I watch you talk, you didn't notice

I hear the words but all I can think is

We should be together

Every time you smile, I smile

And every time you shine, I'll shine for you

Whoa oh, I'm feeling you baby

Don't be afraid to

Jump then fall

Jump then fall into me

Be there, never gonna leave you

Say that you wanna be with me too

So I'm a stay through it all

So jump then fall

I like the way your hair falls in your face

You got the keys to me

I love each freckle on your face, oh

I've never been so wrapped up, honey

I like the way you're everything I ever wanted

I had time to think it oh, over

And all I can say is come closer

Take a deep breath then jump then fall into me

Cause Every time you smile, I smile

And every time you shine, I'll shine for you

Whoa oh, I'm feeling you baby

Don't be afraid to

Jump then fall

Jump then fall into me

Be there, never gonna leave you

Say that you wanna be with me too

So I'm a stay through it all

So jump then fall

The bottom's gonna drop out from under our feet

I'll catch you, I'll catch you

And people say things that bring you to your knees

I'll catch you

The time is gonna come when you're so mad you could cry

But I'll hold you through the night until you smile

Whoa oh, I'm feeling you baby

Don't be afraid, please

Jump then fall

Jump then fall into me

Be there, never gonna leave you

Say that you wanna be with me too

So I'm a stay through it all

So jump then fall

Jump then fall baby

Jump then fall into me, into me

Every time you smile, I smile

And every time you shine, I shine

And every time you're here

Baby I'll show you, I'll show you

You can Jump then fall, jump then fall

Jump then fall into me, into me, yeah

As she finished I just stared at her. Words couldn't even describe how much I wanted to kiss her at that moment. Too bad Emmett came barging in.

"Holy cow, that was you playing Bella?"

She blushed and nodded.

"That was such a great song, did you write it?"

She bushed and nodded again. Fuck, she looked adorable.

I finally opened my mouth, "That song was incredible Bella. Thank you for sharing it with me."

"You inspired it."

I felt my own blush creep onto my face. Seriously why was Emmett still here?

I glared at him and he finally left.

I cupped Bella's face into my hands, "Would you like me to jump Bella?"

She let out a deep breath but only nodded.

I leaned in as she mirrored me. I stared at her lips as I pulled her face closer to mine.

"Bella! Your dad is here to take you home!"

I pulled away, "Bella I'm so sorry. I shouldn't have assumed."

I stood up and offered her my hand. She shook her head and got up with using her crutches.

"I'll see you around Edward," she murmured as she left.

The next week I didn't go over to her house to visit her. I was ashamed at how I acted towards her. I couldn't believe that I had tried to kiss her. I was such a pig. There is no way she felt anything for me besides friendship. Both of her songs proved that.

I was in the middle of my workout when Alice bursted through my door.

"What in the hell is your problem?"

I dropped the squat rack I was doing, "What are you talking about?"

She slapped me across the face, "You have got to be kidding me!"

"Ouch Alice!"

"You are so shallow Edward."

"What in the hell are you talking about?"

"Bella! You fucking almost kissed her then don't go to see her all week? Do you know what you are doing to her? She is refusing to talk to anyone right now. She won't eat, she barely sleeps…"

I didn't even listen to her finish her bitching as I ran from the house. I sprinted the whole way to Bella's house. Charlie's cruiser was not in the driveway and I was thankful as I ran straight up to her room.

"Bella?"

She was curled up onto her bed crying quietly.

I sat down next to her and stroked her hair, "Please Bella."

"Go away Edward."

I laid down beside her and wrapped my arms around her, "I'm never leaving you Bella."

She rolled over and placed her head on my chest as she continued to cry.

"It hurts Edward. Make the pain go away."

I rubbed her back until she cried herself to sleep. Charlie eventually came home and I was prepared to be thrown out, but he looked relieved when he saw Bella asleep.

"Oh thank you Edward. She hasn't slept all week."

I nodded, "I'm sorry Charlie. I should have been here."

He shook his head, "Forgive and forget. Bella preaches it all day long."

Charlie left and I tightened my embrace around her and kissed her forehead.

***** BPOV *****

When I woke up I was instantly aware that I wasn't alone. I rolled over right onto his chest. His arms tightened around me and held me to him. My breathing got hard and fast.

"Bella are you all right?"

I shook my head, "I can't believe you stayed."

"I told you I wasn't going anywhere."

"But my dad…"

"Was glad that you were finally sleeping."

"Oh… I guess it has been a rough week."

"I'm sorry I wasn't here for you. I haven't been much of a best friend."

"Edward you have been busy – I can understand that."

"Yeah but after what I tried… I didn't want you to think…"

"I know Edward. You are my best friend. I think we got our signals crossed."

"I just can't lose you as a friend Bella and I'm afraid if we take that step…"

I cut him off, "I know. I can't lose you as a friend either."

As much as I hated admitting that it was true. We were so close that we couldn't take that step – not yet anyway. I mean we were only fourteen.

My dad knocked on my door, "Bella, you awake?"

"Yeah."

He poked his head in, "You have physical therapy in an hour. I made you an omelet – you too Edward."

We both got up and I managed to hop my way to my closet.

"Bella, let me help you."

"That's okay Edward I got it."

I hopped into the bathroom with my clothes and got dressed. When I hopped out I about ran into him.

"Whoa there little rabbit."

I giggled, "I need my crutches."

He handed them to me and I began to make my way downstairs. I had been working on putting pressure on my right leg all week, but today it felt kind of good.

"Bella did you just lead with you right leg all the way down the stairs?"

I nodded as I sat down, "James told me I needed to start using it more if I wanted to get rid of the crutches before school started."

My dad leaned down and kissed my forehead, "I'm proud of you kiddo."

"Thanks dad." Edward took his seat beside me and dug in.

"Wow Charlie this omelet is really good."

"Why thank you Edward. Will you be joining Bella at physical therapy today?"

He shrugged.

I placed my hand on his arm, "If you aren't doing anything Edward I would really like for you to come with me."

He nodded, "Done."

"You don't have practice today though right?"

He shook his head, "Practices are over. Tryouts are in two weeks."

"Has Emmett been working you hard?"

He nodded, "But it feels great."

We finished our breakfast and my dad dropped us both off at the hospital. I slowly walked/crutched my way in with Edward by my side.

"No way Isabella Swan. You get your butt over here and give me a hug!"

I giggled at James. He was the best physical therapist ever.

"And who is this fine young specimen?"

"James I would like for you to meet my best friend, Edward."

"Oh! Alice's brother."

Edward just glanced at me, "Alice has been here before and I talk about you a lot apparently."

I felt myself blush as Edward stroked my cheek, "That is nothing to be embarrassed about Bella. I talk about you while Emmett and I are working out."

The next two hours were excruciating. James pushed me to my limits and I could feel the pain radiating throughout my body.

"Damn it Bella take another step!"

"I can't James. It fucking hurts!"

"It's supposed to!"

I groaned and sat down. James groaned at me and walked out.

"Is this normal?" Edward asked squatting in front of me.

I nodded, "The pain is so bad and I'm scared…"

He cupped my face into his hands, "What is there to be scared about Bella? He's not going to let you fall or anything."

His thumbs wiped away my tears, "I can't do it Edward. My leg is never going to work right again."

He stood up and held out his hands for me.

"Take my hands Bella."

I just looked up at him.

"Bella, you need to take my hands."

I slowly lifted my hands into his and he pulled me up from my chair.

"Do you trust me Bella?"

I could only nod. He took a step back and let me stand there.

"Shift your weight so that it is equally distributed between your legs."

I shook my head, "But it hurts."

"I know it does but just trust me."

I shut my eyes and did as he asked. The pain shot up through my body and I know my face twisted in agony. Edward wrapped his hands back around mine and leaned his face so that our cheeks were touching.

His lips were at my ear, "Focus on my voice Bella. Relax your muscles and focus only on my voice."

As I did what Edward was asking me I felt myself taking steps forward. Edward's hands never left mine.

"Open your eyes Bella."

Green eyes were staring into mine as I opened my eyes. He let go of my hands and took a few steps back.

"Now listen to only my voice. Come to me Bella."

I kept my eyes on his as I took the steps to him. As I would take a step forward he would take a step back. Eventually he reached the wall and I walked right up to him and wrapped my arms around his neck.

"I did it."

I felt his lips at my ear again, "I knew you could do it Bella."

James' voice cut through our moment.

"So you'll do it for him, but not me?"

I turned around, facing him and took more steps toward James and away from Edward, even though I could feel Edward directly behind me.

When I got to James and spread my legs shoulder-width apart and placed my hands on my hips, "There."

He just laughed at me and slapped Edward on the shoulder, "Kid you're good for her. Maybe you should come to every appointment."

I felt myself blush as I sat back down. As soon as I focused on the pain I was overwhelmed by it. Tears started streaming down my face and I was death gripping the chair with everything I had.

"Bella?"

My head snapped up and I forgot about the pain, "Yes?"

"Are you okay?" Edward asked, concern in his voice.

"Fine now."

"All right Bella I think that is enough for now. I will see you tomorrow."

"What? I thought we were still doing twice a day James?"

He shook his head, "You just walked around the room twice without your crutches – I think that considers you well on your way to recovery."

A huge smile came across Edward's face.

I couldn't help but smile back at him.

"But Bella I still want you to use your crutches for now, but you need to really start relying less on them and more on your own muscles. Edward here will tell me if you aren't."

"Can't I get like cane instead?"

"Not yet. We'll see at the end of the week, okay?"

I nodded and stood, Edward handed me my crutches. I walked my way out of the hospital, using the crutches as little as possible. When my dad pulled up he just smiled at me.

"How was it today?"

"Great dad. James said that if I keep making progress like this I get to have a cane!"

"She walked across the room twice with no help," Edward added in.

My dad just smiled at me, "I knew you had it in you kiddo."

The next two weeks were the same. Edward went with me to physical therapy and the progress I made was incredible. I was using a cane regularly now and the pain was only when I took the brace off and put weight on my leg.

James assured me that as soon as I could walk without getting tired and with no help at all that we would start working without the brace. The best part about all of this was that I would be at that point when school started.

Edward and I had been together everyday for two weeks and now he was currently at try outs, while the rest of us sat anxiously at home in the living room.

"He's got to make it."

Alice hugged me, "He will. I can just feel it."

About two hours later Edward came home and crashed next to me on the couch. Everyone just stared at him as he rested his head on my shoulder. I put my arms around him and brought my lips to his ear.

"So how long are you going to make us all wait?"

I watched as his lips pulled up into a smile and he winked at me. Within seconds I was in his arms and he was swinging me around the living room. Alice started squealing as the rest of the family simply laughed at us. I placed a kiss on his cheek.

"I'm going to be at all your games – front row – with tomatoes!"

He simply chuckled and set me down, "I wouldn't be here without you Bella."

I smiled and hugged him. He returned my hug but let go too soon for my liking and went to his family members. I felt my heart drop and Alice saw my face as I hid my anguish yet again. She smiled sympathetically at me and I smiled back shrugging. It was just another day that I would chalk up to memory – someday we would be together.


	6. Chapter 5

**Chapter 5 – Freshman Year**** – EPOV**

I did it! I made the Lacrosse Team – the only freshman to do so. Practices started the very next day and I went to bed as soon as Bella left my room. She was making due with her cane just fine. I was disappointed that now I had practice during her physical therapy but she promised she would be here when I got home every day.

And she was. For the next two weeks we spent every afternoon together. She had moved back home but her dad always dropped her off at our house after her physical therapy. It was so much fun just hanging out and being us again – I thought that maybe our comforts had gotten thrown out the window three months ago, but I was wrong and I was thankful that she could forgive me for what I had put her through.

The first day of school came and went. I didn't see Bella all day but she was there waiting for me after practice.

"How was your first day?"

"Good and yours Bella?"

"Not bad – it's much better now though."

I felt myself blush, "It sucks that we don't have at least one class together. I mean we are taking all the same classes but we didn't get lucky enough to have them together I guess."

"I know, but this way we can still do homework together. After you take a shower, of course."

I chuckled, "Of course!"

"So we doing this homework thing at your house or mine?"

She smiled, "Let's rotate – one week at mine and the other's at yours."

"Sounds perfect. Since I need to take a shower we had better start this week at mine."

She nodded, "Lead the way stinky."

And that was our schedule. Lacrosse matches were every Saturday for the first three months of school and Bella went to every single one of them with my family. They had made 'Cullen' jerseys and even wore my number on their faces. I loved seeing Bella after every game – she was the first person I would hug.

It was Thanksgiving weekend and Bella was staying the night with Alice when I overhead them talking in the kitchen.

"It's not like that and you know it Al!"

"Come on Bella admit it! You like him, more than a friend."

I heard Bella groan, "You know I do."

"So tell him already."

"You know I can't."

Bella liked someone? She had never told me this.

"Come on Bella. You can't use your leg pain as an excuse anymore."

"I wasn't using it as an excuse."

I heard Alice groan, "You are such a baby. You wouldn't be so miserable all the time if you would just tell him."

I heard Bella's sobs, "I don't want to lose him if I tell him. You and I both know that all he wants to be is just friends. I can't do it Al! My heart hurts too much as it is."

"Yeah, but your heart wouldn't hurt if you just told him."

"And have him laugh in my face, no thank you!"

That was when I decided to make my appearance known. I cleared my throat rather loudly as I walked into the kitchen. Alice was standing with a bag of popcorn in her hand and Bella's back was to me.

"What are you two up to?"

"We just made some popcorn and were going to watch a movie in my room," Alice responded. Bella's back was still to me.

I kept my tone light, "Sounds like fun. Well don't mind me I was just grabbing a bowl of cereal."

Alice left with the popcorn but Bella remained where she was.

"Everything okay Bella?"

She finally turned to me. I saw her red-rimmed eyes.

"Edward, you think I'm pretty right?"

I was rather taken aback by this question so I just answered truthfully.

"No Bella you are not simply pretty. You are beautiful."

She sat down at the counter while I fixed my cereal.

"Do you think if I asked someone out, someone who was a friend, that he would say yes?"

"He'd be an idiot if he said no Bella."

She blushed and smiled.

"Well what if they were friends and he was worried that it would hurt their friendship?"

"Some things are worth trying out Bella. And if it includes you, that answer were most likely be yes."

"How can you be so sure?"

"You clearly don't know the hold you have over people do you?"

She blushed again, "Hold?"

"I hear about it all the time in the locker room. You have this mystery about you – it's intriguing."

"Oh… guys talk about me in the locker room?"

I nodded, "They know I am your best friend."

"So?"

"I get asked all the time if we are more than just friends. It's ridiculous really."

Her demeanor instantly changed, "What I'm not good enough for you?"

"No Bella. I didn't say that."

"But you implied it. Like it would so horrible to date Bella Swan!"

"I never said that Bella!"

"Then what did you mean by your little quip Edward. Please enlighten me!"

"You are my best friend Bella. What I mean was that people seem to think that we are together and they are ridiculous for thinking that because if they knew us, they would know otherwise."

She got up from her stool so quickly that it slammed against the hardwood floors.

"You are such an arrogant ass Edward Cullen."

And with that she left. She went straight upstairs, yelled a bit with Alice then left the house. I leaned against the counter, completely confused.

Alice's hand across my face brought me back to reality.

"What the fuck Alice?"

"How could you say that to her?"

"Say what?"

"That she isn't good enough to date you."

"I never said that!"

"But you implied it with what you did say."

I shrugged, "You know how everyone always thinks that we are together Alice!"

"You might as well be Edward. The only thing you aren't doing that every other couple does is kiss."

"She is my BEST FRIEND!"

She slapped me again, "When are you going to wake up realize that you have feelings for Bella?"

She turned on her heel and ran back up to her room. I grabbed my cereal and sank into a kitchen table chair. Did I have feelings for Bella? Surely not, right? She was my best friend.

At school the next week Bella and I didn't have our study sessions. I went days without seeing her and that left me even more confused. Why had what I said hurt her so much? Did she have feelings for me?

I took my last final and breathed a sigh of relief. It was not Christmas Break and I had nothing planned – I was looking forward to just playing my guitar and relaxing.

As I walked to my car I spotted Bella. She was limping her way to her truck. Since when did she limp? I ran over to her.

"Hey Bella."

She glared at me, "Hi."

"Are you okay? I noticed you were limping."

"Stubbed my toe. I'm fine," she said between clenched teeth.

I ran my fingers through my hair, "Um… okay. Well I will see you around then."

She didn't say good-bye as I walked away from here. In fact, she had barely responded to me at all. When I got home I noticed she was online so I sent her a message.

_What was this afternoon about?_

_Nothing. _

_Bella, you barely looked at me… _

_Because it hurts too, okay?_

_What is that supposed to mean?_

_Edward I can't keep doing this._

_Doing what Bella?_

_Never mind._

_Why are you shutting me out?_

_I'm not doing anything Edward._

_Yes, you are. You're doing it right now. Talk to me Bella – please!_

_I don't want to fight about it anymore. Can we just forget about it?_

_Fine. What have you been up to lately?_

_Studying actually._

_You know I think I failed in math because we didn't study together Bella._

_I'm sorry I avoided you._

_Ditto._

There was no response for while so I typed in something else.

_What are you doing tomorrow?_

_Nothing that I know of._

_Want to go to the meadow?_

_Sure._

_Great Bella! I will see you tomorrow morning at 9._

I logged off and crawled into my bed. We had been talking for three hours and I was tired from not sleeping, but studying, all week. The next morning I had my mom drop me off at Bella's.

I knocked on the front door and Bella answered it quickly.

"Do you think it is going to be too cold?"

I shook my head, "Just as long as you have your thermals on – we should be fine."

She nodded and grabbed her winter jacket. She was all bundled up as we started our walk.

I noticed she was still limping.

"Is your leg okay?"

"Fine, why?"

"You're limping Bella."

"It's inevitable Edward. James has tried to loosen the muscle around the break but it won't budge, so I can't extend my leg completely."

"Why am I just now noticing it then?"

"Because it just developed recently. Like three weeks ago."

"Does it hurt?"

"Only when I stretch it, so every day – yeah."

My face fell and Bella noticed my discomfort. She placed her hand on my arm and pulled me to a stop.

"Stop blaming yourself Edward."

"How can I not? This is all because of me!"

She pulled my face so that I was looking directly into her eyes, "It is not your fault. I have never once thought that so I need you to start thinking that too."

"I can try," I mumbled.

She smiled, "That's more like it."

We walked into the clearing and I took off the backpack I had on. I pulled out the blanket and thermos and we sat down.

She eventually scooted closer to me and we wrapped our arms around one another.

"When did things get so complicated?"

"I'm not sure Edward."

"Promise me I won't lose you Bella. I feel like I haven't been that good of a friend lately, but your friendship means so much to me."

"Your friendship means a lot to me too Edward. I don't plan on going anywhere."

"Good."

We spent a few more hours in the meadow before it started to snow.

"Thanks for coming with me today Bella."

"I had fun Edward."

"Do you have any special plans for break?"

She nodded, "I'm going to visit my mom in Phoenix. She's not doing so well."

"I'm sorry to hear that Bella. When are you leaving?"

"Tomorrow."

"Oh… When are you getting back?"

"On the 28th."

"I guess I will have to give you your present then."

"Edward – you didn't have to get me anything."

"I wanted to Bella."

I wrapped my arms around her and gave her a hug. She hugged me back and smiled.

"So I will call you, okay?"

I nodded, "Good. I will see you when you get back then."

She hugged me again before I left.

***** BPOV *****

I boarded the plane with only one person on my mind – Edward. I wanted to tell him so badly yesterday how much I loved him but I held my tongue. How could I say that then fly off to my mother's for two weeks? I was going to tell him when I got back – even if he didn't return those feelings. I was tired of having my heart broken by my best friend and have him not even know it.

Alice was right all along – he needed to know how I felt.

I made my way from the airport to my mother's house. She had been battling cancer on and off for years now – it was one of the main reasons she divorced my dad. She didn't want to be a burden to him.

I knocked and her current live-in nurse answered the door.

"Thank goodness you are here Bella. She has been asking for you for hours now."

"Why?"

"I'm afraid she's taken a turn for the worse my dear. I suspect it's only a matter of days now."

I rushed to her room to find her looking sicklier than ever before.

"Mom?"

"Isabella, baby is that you?"

I laid down beside her on her bed, "It's okay now mom. I'm here. Everything is going to be okay."

The next week was the hardest in my entire life. My mom grew weaker every day. My dad had phoned when I got here and was on the next plane to Phoenix. I was so glad that I didn't have to go through this alone.

I still hadn't called Edward like I said I would, but I was busy. Alice called and left several messages and I finally answered when she woke me up three days before Christmas.

"Hello?"

"Bella! Why haven't you been answering my calls?"

I broke down in tears, "Oh Al. It's my mom."

That was all it took, "I'm coming," she whispered before she hung up.

I shut my phone and glanced at the clock. It was 2:13 AM on December 22nd. I felt my heart stop at that very moment and I ran into my mother's room.

I walked over to her and kissed her forehead, "I'll love you forever mommy."

She opened her eyes and smiled at me, "I love you my darling Isabella."

Then her heart monitor flat lined. I crumbled to the floor in sobs and simply waited for it to end for her. I don't remember going back to my room but when I woke up I felt a strong pair of arms around my shoulders and another pair, lightly, around my waist.

My eyes fluttered open as I remember the details of the previous night. I clung to whomever I was sleeping next to and began to sob.

"Sshhh, it's okay Bella."

I cried even harder. Edward was here and so was Alice. They must have found me. Alice rubbed my back as Edward let me cry into his chest.

"Why her? Why now?"

"Your mother is in a better place now Bella," Alice whispered.

I nodded, "She's not in pain anymore."

I eventually cried myself back to sleep and this time when I awoke Edward was the only one with me.

"How long have I been out?"

"Twelve hours."

I sat up and looked around. My room was bright and an utter disaster.

Edward pulled me into his lap and stroked my hair, "Your dad was in a little bit ago and asked me to tell him when you woke up."

"He must be worried sick about me."

Edward shook his head, "No, he knows you're safe with me."

I smiled at that, "Thank you Edward. You'll never know how much this means to me."

He wrapped his arms around my waist and pulled me into a hug. We stayed like that until there was a light knock on the door.

"Bella?" Alice asked poking her head in.

I flew from the bed and right into her arms, "Oh Alice!"

She dragged me out to the living room and pulled me into her lap on the couch.

"Where is everyone else?"

"They just left with the director from the funeral home. Your dad wanted to get everything set up as soon as possible."

I nodded as the tears rolled down my face. I felt Edward sit next to us.

"I was with her when it happened. It was right after you called Alice. I looked at the clock and knew something was off. I ran to her room and kissed her forehead. I told her that I would love her forever."

The tears were streaming down my face now.

"She opened her eyes and looked right at me and smiled. She said that she loved me… then she went."

"Oh Bella," Alice cried.

Us three stayed on the couch until everyone came home. My dad pulled me into his arms and we cried together for hours. That night I went to bed in between Edward and Alice again – it was the only way I knew I could sleep.


	7. Chapter 6

**Chapter 6 – Heartbreak**** – EPOV**

Even after the funeral was over and Bella came back to Forks, something was wrong. She withdrew from everyone but Alice and me. She never answered any questions in class I guess, even though her grades remained steady. For five solid months she slowly slipped away from reality.

People were starting to tease and pick on her. I was soon pulled into the mix when I defended her after school one day – that got me a black eye and a detention. Summer was quickly approaching and I was glad that we would be getting away from all the crap that was school.

"Bella?"

He glazed over eyes snapped into attention and looked at me, "Yeah?"

"Did you plan on getting out of bed today?"

I sat down next to her and she just smiled at me, "Of course."

She sat up and I noticed that she had on the same clothes she had worn the day before. She pulled out new ones and went to the bathroom. It wasn't long before I heard her crying and the shower turning on.

This was her routine – cry it out in the shower when she thought now one could hear her. It was a half an hour later when she finally appeared before me.

"Ready for school?"

She simply nodded and I grabbed her hand.

"It's the last day, you know that right?"

She nodded and smiled at me, it didn't meet her eyes. That last day was brutal. I was constantly heckled in every class about her when finally I snapped.

"Well I'm sorry, but when your mother dies in front of you, why don't you come and then tell me how to act about it!"

I stormed out of the cafeteria and straight into Bella. She looked at me with tears running down her cheeks.

"Are you okay Bella?"

She nodded, "I had another flash back – that's all."

I pulled her into the nearest empty classroom and held her close, "How long have you been having these flashbacks Bella?"

"They happen all the time. The only time I feel safe is when I am with you."

She looked up at with her big brown eyes. They were so hollow and empty looking. I kissed her forehead, "Well I guess it's a good thing that I'm not going anywhere."

And I didn't. We spent that entire summer together. She came to all my practices and played her guitar as she watched me. She was slowly getting back to the old Bella.

When school started back up again she was back to her old self. We had several classes together this year and we sat beside each other in every one. Lunch was a blast because everyone had the same lunchtime. Emmett and Rose, Jasper and Alice, and Bella and I all sat at a table every single day.

"Edward, Jessica is staring at you again," Jasper said.

I glanced over and smiled at her as she waved.

I was in my one class without Bella – thankfully I had it with Jasper.

"I think she likes you."

I just shrugged.

He hit my shoulder, "It's not like you are dating anyone else."

I laughed, "I don't want to date Jasper."

"You can't keep using Bella this way man. It isn't right. She has guys pining after her and you push them all away without her even knowing it."

"We are best friends Jazz. We are comfortable with one another – that's all."

"That's because there is only one Bella and you are scared shitless to admit that you have feelings for her."

I shook my head, "No."

"Then go ask Jessica out. You are single for crying out loud – so act like it!"

When the bell rang I sauntered my way over towards Jessica.

"Hi Edward!"

"Hey Jessica, look I was just wondering if you weren't doing anything on Friday night… well maybe we could go out for pizza after the football game?"

"I would love to Edward but I thought you were dating Bella."

I shook my head, "We are just friends – always have been."

"Well then I would love to go out with you Edward. I will meet you at the game."

"Sounds great. See you then."

I walked back over to Jasper and stuck my tongue out at him as I made my way to my locker. Bella came running up to me just as I opened it.

"Hey!"

"Hey Bella."

"So Edward I thought that maybe we could grab a pizza after the game on Friday night?"

I smiled at her and she blushed, "I would love to but I just asked Jessica the same thing."

Her face fell, "Oh. I see. Never mind then. See you tomorrow." And as quickly as she had came, she was gone.

I frowned for a minute before shaking it off and walking out to my car. Bella's truck was still in her spot but she was nowhere in sight. I drove home and surprisingly enough neither Alice or Emmett were home yet. I never beat them home.

I got up to my room and started in on my homework. I eventually heard both Alice and Emmett come home but I didn't see them at all that night. I went to bed early – Friday was upon me.

When I got out of bed that morning I took some extra time on my hair and dressing. I wanted to look good for Jessica, even if our date wasn't until later.

Bella wasn't in school that day and when I called her house at lunch, no one answered. I got to lunch later than usual and everyone was giving me death glares, except Jasper.

"What?"

Alice just got up and left.

Jasper looked at me and gave me a sympathetic smile and took off behind her. Rose was the one to answer my question.

"How could you do that to Bella? She finally got the nerve to ask you out and you go and ask out Jessica?"

My mouth dropped, "Bella was asking me out?"

Emmett simply nodded. Rose was still on her bitch rant.

"Seriously Edward, who has always been there for you no matter what? Who is the one you call your best friend to everyone that is within a five mile radius?"

My head fell into my hands, "How was I supposed to know?"

"You are a guy Edward – figure it out!"

And then Rose took off and Emmett patted my shoulder before going after her. Fuck I had messed this up. I had every intention of going to Bella's house after school but Jessica caught me. We ended up talking after school for two hours.

I went to the game and searched for Bella, but she wasn't there. As the game ended I was taking Jessica to my car when I spotted her. She was walking with Alice and Jasper. Alice had her arms around her waist and Jasper had his arm around her shoulders.

Just as I was about to call out her name, Jessica pinned me against my car and slammed her lips against mine. By the time I had pushed her off me Bella was nowhere. I took Jessica out for pizza and dropped her off at home.

When I pulled into my driveway I noticed Alice and Bella sitting on the front porch. As soon as Bella saw my car she bolted into the house.

I walked up towards Alice and prepared for the worst. She simply smiled at me.

"Did you have a good date tonight?"

I shrugged, "I guess."

"That's nice," she said sipping her hot chocolate.

"Why did Bella disappear?"

"She's avoiding you."

"I didn't know she was asking me out Alice. When she said it, it sounded like hanging out – like we always do."

"I know."

"Oh."

"Well I am going to get to bed. You should too. You have a big match tomorrow."

I nodded, "Will Bella be there?"

Alice just smiled at me, "Isn't she always?"

That night I slept like crap. I played horribly too. I got body checked so many times my head was spinning. The final straw was when I looked over and saw Bella with tears in her eyes as she watched Jessica wave at me frantically. That was all it took. I was body checked so hard that I blacked out.

The next thing I remember is my coach's face in mine.

"Cullen!"

My eyes snapped open and I placed my hand on my head, "Fuck, ouch."

My teammates all laughed, "Yeah – I'd say. That was one hard check."

He sat me up, "Can you walk?"

I nodded. He stood me up and helped me off the field. I sat on the bench and put my head in my hands. The match ended and we got our asses handed to us. No one blamed me, but I knew it was because I didn't have my head in the right place.

After the match Jessica attacked me into a hug, "Are you all right? I was so worried."

"I'm fine Jess. I just want to go see my dad."

She nodded, "Okay. Call me."

I smiled and walked over to my family. Bella looked down as soon as I glanced at her.

"You okay there son? You got checked pretty hard."

"I just have a headache."

"Well then let's get you home so you can rest and sleep it off."

I nodded, "Sounds good to me."

As my relationship with Jessica took off the less and less Bella spoke to me. We still hung out but it just wasn't the same anymore. Half the Lacrosse team had asked her out and she turned every single one of them down.

Finally, over Christmas break she came to the house when I was the only one home.

"I was hoping Alice would be here. I really need to talk to someone."

"You can talk to me Bella."

"I can?"

"Of course you can. Just because I have a girlfriend doesn't mean we still can't hang out and talk."

She sat down hesitantly on my bed.

"It's approaching the year mark of my mom's death and I'm worried that I will fall back into the hole I just crawled out of."

"Bella I won't let that happen."

"You won't?"

"No. Bella you are my best friend – things have been weird between us lately, but I still care about you."

"You do?"

"Yes Bella. I have felt this void lately because you haven't been around and when you are we never talk. I miss us."

"So do I Edward."

"Well then let's fix that. Can we do our old routine with homework?"

"What about Jessica?"

"I have the weekends with her. Besides I call her before I go to bed every night. She won't care. She knows you are my friend as well as Alice's."

"Okay then. When school starts back up we can do that. First week is at my house."

I smiled and gave her a hug.

Break went by quickly and before I knew it school was back in session. Bella and I started our homework nights and Jessica didn't seem to mind at all. Things were going smoothly for the first four months and before we knew it, May was here.

"Hey Jess. What do you want to do this weekend?"

"What you aren't hanging out with Bella?"

I shook my head, "You know I'm not. You and I always do something on the weekends."

"Edward I don't think I can do this anymore."

"Do what Jess?"

"Come in second."

"You don't come in second Jess."

"It may not seem like that to you, but it does to me."

"I thought you were fine with Bella's and my homework sessions?"

"I was at first, but I see the way you look at her Edward. I can't do this anymore."

"What are you saying Jessica?"

"I'm saying that I want to break up."

And it was over as quickly as it had started. Word traveled through school quickly and that Friday night Bella was in my bedroom with a tub of ice cream. I cried and ate as she listened to everything. She truly was my best friend.

It wasn't until summer hit that I started being myself again. Bella and I were back together, just like it used to be… until school started. I was at a Lacrosse practice – Bella in the stands with her guitar per usual when Lauren walked straight up to me and planted a kiss on my lips.

When I saw Bella's face – shock was the only word that came to mind. She threw her guitar at me and stormed off, tears streaming down her face. I was so broken that I went to Lauren's that weekend and was quickly dragged into a world of drugs and alcohol.


	8. Chapter 7

**Chapter 7 – Running Clears the Mind**** – BPOV**

Nine months and they were still going strong. He had pulled away from me our junior year. It hurt to watch him act like an ass, but he was popular. His Lacrosse had gone downhill slightly and now it was rumored that he wouldn't be playing his senior year.

"Bella?"

"What's up Aly?"

"Do you have to spend your whole summer in Vermont?"

I laughed, "This is the opportunity of a lifetime Alice – I have to go."

"I know but I am going to miss you so much."

I hugged her, "I'll miss you too."

"Please tell me you're going to call at least once a week."

I nodded, "You bet I will. I'll write too."

We walked into our last period class together arm in arm. I glanced over at Edward and cringed. He looked worse than ever. His eyes were bloodshot and his hair was matted in certain places. It looked like he was in need of a decent night's sleep.

We took our seats – our last class as juniors – next to Edward, per usual. He glanced at me and smiled making my heart stop.

"Hey Bella."

I looked at him, "What you're talking to me now?"

He nodded, "Why wouldn't I talk to you Bella?"

"Well maybe because you haven't basically all year."

He shook his head, "You are absurd Bella."

I blanched at his comment, "I'm sorry let me check my agenda to see when you last spoke to me."

I turned my attention back to Alice, I was glad it was a free period.

"So want to go out tonight before I leave tomorrow?"

"Your dad won't care?"

I shook my head, "He already said his good bye to me this morning. His annual fishing trip was this weekend."

"Oh that's right. Well then sure. What do you want to do?"

I shrugged, "Doesn't matter."

Just then Edward grabbed my arm, "Don't ignore me Bella. I'm right here."

I stared at him, "Excuse me? I'm ignoring you?"

"I was talking to you and you just turned away and started talking with Alice."

"Huh. Well now you know how I have felt since you've started dating Lauren."

"That's not fair Bella."

"Not fair? Are you serious?"

He only nodded.

"This is why we aren't friends anymore Edward. You became an ass and dropped everyone you cared about."

I turned away again but he grabbed my forearm.

"Please Bella. I need you."

I glared at him, "You need me? Since when?"

He grabbed my hand, "Please Bella. I can't keep doing this anymore."

I pulled back, "I'm leaving tomorrow for Vermont. I will be gone all summer."

His face fell, "Oh." He let my hand fall from his, "Will you call me?"

"Do you want me to?"

"Honestly – yes."

"What about Lauren?"

He shrugged, "What about her?"

"She doesn't like me Edward. Won't she be upset with me calling you?"

He shrugged again, "I don't really care what she thinks."

I looked at him with confusion, "Then why are you still dating her?"

"It's complicated Bella."

I shook my head, "Sure it is Edward." I turned my back on him again and started talking with Alice again. The school day/year ended shortly after. Alice followed me home and we ended up going to Port Angeles.

"I'm really going to miss you this summer Bella."

"I know, me too Alice. But I am really glad to just get away."

"I bet you are. He has been acting weird ever since he started dating her."

I nodded in agreement, "She's changed him and he doesn't even realize it."

"Is the rumor true though Bella? Is he really not going to go out for Lacrosse next year?"

"I don't know Alice. I guess I will find out when you do."

"No Bella. You must help him. You know he only listens to you anymore."

"Today was the first time I have spoken with him in weeks."

"I know, but please Bella. You still care about him don't you?"

"I'll always love him Aly. He's still Edward, he just has to get rid of that extra baggage that is weighing him down."

"You and I both know that one."

The next morning Alice was there, along with Edward, to drive me to the airport and wish me good-bye.

"I'll miss you this summer Bella."

"I'll miss you too Edward."

"Promise me you'll call or write or something."

I nodded, "I will."

"Bye Bella."

"Bye Al. Love you."

I boarded my plane and was off. That whole summer I learned more about writing than ever before. I was even more excited that I had been accepted early in Dartmouth based on my grades and written essays. Also in the two and a half months I spent in Vermont I had taken up running. It was something that cleared my head of all the news I had been receiving from home.

Like promised I called and wrote letters to Alice and Edward, as well as my dad, all summer long. Edward and I had reconnected again. He had decided to go out for Lacrosse and that made me think about joining Cross Country. My runs were never short. I was built for the long distances. My five-mile runs every single day let me think about nothing but me for once, and it was nice.

I stepped off the plane and right into Alice's arms.

"Thank goodness you are home! I missed you so much!"

I laughed, "It's good to see you too Al."

She pulled back, "Have you been working out?"

I nodded, "Running."

She took a step back and stared at me, "Holy crap Bella! You're like ripped!"

I laughed again, "So how have you been? You're looking good."

"Thanks, but seriously Bella – spill."

We grabbed my bags and headed out to her car. Once she was on the road I spilled everything.

"Okay so talking to Edward the whole summer made me realize how much I love him and that he'll never leave her for me. So to cope I started running. It was the only time my mind was free to not think about it. I mean Al, we have been friends since Kindergarten. Sure it has been shaky these past few years but we have always been there for one another. I love him so much that it hurts Alice."

She grabbed my hand, "He's hurting to Bella."

"How?"

"He's not happy. The only time I saw him smile this whole summer was when he was either on the phone with you or talking about you with me."

"Then why is he still with her?"

"He says that it's complicated and he can't just leave her – that she had some kind of hold on him that he doesn't know what to do about."

"That's ridiculous Alice."

"I know, but he was completely serious about it. Something is going on Bella – I don't know what it is, but it involved her fucking with my brother and I don't like it."

"Neither do I. But if he won't tell us then we can't do anything about it."

She dropped me off at home and my dad helped me carry my things in.

"It's good to have you home Bells."

"Thanks dad. Feels good to be home."

"I see all that running has paid off."

I shrugged, "I just toned up I guess."

"Well you look great kid. Edward's going to realize he loves you yet."

"Dad, please… I can't… I mean I don't want to talk about it now."

"Okay. Well you should get some sleep. You only have this weekend to get back on Washington time here."

"I know I can't believe my senior year starts Monday."

"Did you talk to the cross country coach?"

I nodded, "Yea. I start on Monday."

"I'm proud of you Bells," he said hugging me.

"I love you dad."

I slept pretty well that night. I had hyped myself up on caffeine before I left so it would help me stay awake and get back to my correct time zone – it worked, kind of. The next morning I got up and went for my five-mile run, per usual. It was invigorating and just what I needed. When I got home I made myself some breakfast and started in on my crunches, push-ups, and lunges.

I had just gotten out of the shower when there was a knock at the door. Wrapped in a towel I bolted downstairs and peeked through the peephole.

"Edward?"

"Hey Bella, can I come in?"

I looked down and blushed, "Um… yeah. Look I just got out of the shower so I'm going to open the door to let you in… but… um…"

"It's fine Bella."

I opened the door and stood there in my towel, blushing.

"Hey."

He wrapped his arms around me, "I missed you Bella."

I stood there – shocked, "I missed you too Edward."

He stepped back, "Oh sorry. I'll wait in the living room."

He walked around me and I made my way back up to my room and threw on a pair of shorts and tank top. I combed my hair into a ponytail and applied a small amount of mascara and some lip gloss. I bounced back down the steps and into the living room. His eyes met mine and he smiled.

"Wow. Bella you look amazing."

I blushed, "Thanks Edward."

"Alice told me that you've taken up running?"

I nodded, "Yea. I'm even joining the cross country team."

He looked shocked but quickly composed himself, "That's great Bella. And it doesn't bother your leg?"

"Actually my leg has never felt better."

He stood, "Bella I really need to talk to you."

"Okay."

"Can we go to the meadow?"

"Yea." I took his hand into mine and led the way. He remained silent the whole walk. We sat down in the very middle and I was the first one to speak. "I'm surprised you haven't brought Lauren out here."

He immediately shook his head, "This has always been our place Bella – no one else's, and it never will be."

I blushed, "Well I appreciate that."

He took my hands into his, "Bella I'm so lost right now."

"Why Edward? You've been like this all summer it seems."

He nodded, "Ever since I started dating her. I want to be me again but she's…" he trailed off.

"Edward it is your life. What could she possible hold over you that is making you so scared?"

He let his head fall into his hands, "Bella… I can't tell you… I want to."

"What's holding you back?"

"You wouldn't want to be my friend anymore Bella. I'm not who I used to be."

"Well neither am I Edward – we all change."

"Well mine is not for the better!"

I flinched back. He quickly reached again for my hands, "I'm sorry. See what I mean? I've never lost my temper with you before, or anyone for that matter. And now I am doing it all the time."

"Then stop," I whispered.

"Bella I care about you so much. I've missed you more than you know."

"Well that was your doing."

"I know and I'm so sorry. At first it was all me and now… she won't let me talk to you. She found all your letters and she threatened me."

"Threatened you? What like you are two or something?"

"Kind of. Bella I don't want to stop talking to you but I can't let her expose me."

"Well this I am use to."

"What?"

"You picking another girl over me." Jealousy ripped through me. Tears flooded my eyes as I stood up. "I get it Edward. It's been fun. Bye."

I heard him calling my name but I didn't stop running until I reached the house. I immediately grabbed my running things and changed. This was my life now – no Edward. He had chosen Lauren over me and I understood that – so I ran.

I ended up not far from the Cullen house, crumpled on the ground. I laid there for hours I think. I sprawled out in the grass and let my thoughts take over. How could he just let me go? We had been friends for so long and now that was all gone. I felt the hole in my chest grow until the tears ran down my face.

"Bella?"

I rolled away from the voice and curled into a ball. I felt hands on me.

"Bella are you all right?"

"The hole – it hurts," I cried grabbing my chest.

I felt fingers along my ribs and across my back.

"Bella, it's Carlisle. Have you been hurt?"

I rolled over to face him and threw myself into his arms, "Carlisle!"

He held me close, "What are you doing lying along the side of the road?"

"He said he can't be my friend anymore. I just ran."

"You ran all the way here?"

I nodded, "It hurts so much."

He cradled me into his chest, "It's okay Bella. I'm here now." He pulled out his phone and called Esme. I could hear her and Alice's voice on the other end. He continued to whisper things into my ear and hold me tightly while I continued to sob.

I heard another car pull up and knew immediately that Alice was here.

"Bella."

I flew into her arms, "Aly. He said he couldn't be my friend anymore. The hole – it hurts."

"Sshhh Bella. I'm here now. I'll call him and we'll work this out."

I pulled back, "No. I don't want to – I can't. This is his choice."

"Bella it's the only way."

I stood up and backed away from all three of them, "No!"

Carlisle stood with me, "We need to know what is going on Bella."

"I've lost my best friend – that's what's going on. He dumped me for her. What more do you need to know?"

"Well he obviously did it for a reason."

"She doesn't like me. She has something on him that would, apparently, make us all disappointed in him so he is giving in instead of fighting. I'm done. I can't do this anymore. I don't want to try."

Carlisle pleaded with me, "He needs you Bella. Don't leave him like this."

I sighed, "I'm sorry. It just hurts to much." And with that I took off running again. Before I could get very far Alice was beside me.

"Take my phone."

I grabbed it, "Thanks."

"Be safe Bella," she called as I sprinted forward. I ended up at the school track, sprawled on the grass. I didn't hear anyone pull up but the next thing I knew someone was hovering over me.

"Bella Swan?"

I sat up, "Coach?"

"You okay?"

I nodded, "Yea. Just resting before my next run."

"Next run?"

I stood, "Um. Well I went for my usual five miles this morning. Then I ran to the Cullen's house – kind of – and then back here. So maybe ten miles for today?"

"And you want to do how much more?"

I laughed, "Only two. Just a simple cool down."

"Well let's get running."

I ran next to him at first but then I lengthened my stride and he didn't keep up with me. I finished my two miles and began stretching as he finished up. I was in the middle of my ab routine when he came up to me.

"Bella?"

"Yea Coach?"

"You do realize that your two mile run just broke the school's record?"

I shrugged.

"Bella. I haven't seen a runner like you in all my twenty years of coaching. I would really like it if you would consider joining the track team too."

"Just as long as I can run as much as I'd like, then fine."

"Care to tell me why you're so passionate about running all the sudden?"

I froze and swallowed hard. I wrapped my arms around myself, "It helps me cope with the hole that I feel in my chest. It's the only time I feel… free to be me."

He nodded, "That I understand more than you know."


	9. Chapter 8

**Chapter 8 – More Than Friends**** – EPOV**

Telling Bella I couldn't be her friend anymore ripped a hole through my chest. I stayed in our meadow until nightfall. Then I called my dad.

"Edward! Thank goodness. We were starting to get worried."

"I'm sorry dad. Can you come and pick me up?"

"Of course. I'll be there soon."

I told him where I was and within ten minutes I was inside his car.

"You okay son?"

I nodded, "It hurts so much, but I had to do it. I'm not good enough to be her friend anymore."

"Don't say that Edward. We all know how much you care for Bella."

I let my head fall into my hands, "I don't want to keep doing this to myself but I don't have any other choice. Lauren threatened me and it's just so bad dad."

We were outside our house now. He put his hand on my shoulder.

"No matter what Edward – you're my son and nothing you do or have done will ever make me love you any less."

I glanced up at him. His face was solemn and serious. I felt like the biggest failure. That night I went straight to bed. I contemplated how bad it would be if I told my family that I was wrapped up in drugs and I decided that it was best kept as a secret for now. No one needed to know and that was heartbreaking to figure out.

When I woke up Alice was sitting on the edge of my bed.

"We need to talk."

I sat up, "I know."

"You've broken her heart Edward and I don't just mean like you hurt her – she is shattered."

"I don't deserve her friendship anymore Alice. I'm not who I used to be."

"Can't you just dump Lauren, Edward?"

I shook my head, "No. You don't understand Alice."

"Then help me Edward."

"I can't Alice. You would be so disappointed in me. I'm such a failure as it is."

"Don't say that. We all love you, even Bella."

My head snapped up, "What?"

"Don't tell me you haven't noticed. She is in love with you – she always has been. Do you know why she started running?"

I shook my head, "She didn't tell me."

"The real reason is because she wanted to be good at something like you. She wanted to become popular so that you wouldn't be embarrassed to be seen talking with her anymore."

My face fell, "I'm such a piece of shit Alice. I want to go back to that summer a year ago and push Lauren away. I was going to ask Bella out that day, but the fact that someone like Lauren wanted to go out with me – well I went with my head and not my heart."

She held out my phone, "Call her Edward."

"What do I say?"

"Just tell her how you feel. Oh and tell her that I got a new phone and the one I gave her yesterday is hers to keep. My new number is the same except it starts with six instead of two."

"You gave Bella your cell?"

"She needed it, and now you have her number memorized and you don't have to tell Lauren – it just looks like you are calling me."

I threw my arms around her, "Alice you are genius."

I took a shower and got dressed. I grabbed my cell and plopped down on my bed.

"Hello?"

"Bella, please don't hang up."

"Edward if I wanted to hang up, I wouldn't have answered. Alice has you programmed into her phone."

"Oh… about that. Alice told me to tell you that it is your phone now. She got a new one and her new number is the same except it starts with a six instead of a two."

"I can't keep her phone."

"She wants you to have it. She said you needed a cell phone and since you are already programmed in my phone as Alice, Lauren won't get suspicious when she sees how much I call my _sister_."

"Are you saying that you do want me as a friend now?"

"Bella… I never wanted to stop being your friend in the first place."

"Edward, what could she possibly hold over you that would make you so scared that you can't tell your best friend?"

"It's so terrible Bella. I don't want to talk about it. I'm not going to listen to Lauren though. I'm not throwing away twelve years of friendship."

"So we are going to be secret friends?"

"For now I guess. Look Bella I love you so much. I don't ever want to hurt you again like I did yesterday. My heart can't take it anymore."

There was silence on her end.

"Bella?"

"You love me?"

"You know I do. I always have, but there is nothing I can do about it now. I am with Lauren and until I figure that out I think we need to keep on the down-low about all this."

"I'll wait for you Edward. I love you so much. Yesterday I felt like half of me was missing. I ended up at the track where I ran into the cross country/track coach."

"So you really are going to join then?"

"It keeps me whole Edward. It is the only time that I focus on nothing."

"Bella, I'm so sorry for everything I've put you through. But I can't lose you Bella. I need you so much."

"And I'll always be there for you Edward. We'll just keep Lauren in the dark."

"I love you Bella. Don't ever forget that."

"I love you too Edward. No matter what, I'll be there for you."

The school year started the next morning. I had several classes with Bella and thankfully only one with Lauren, but Jasper and Alice were in that class too. The first few weeks were very hectic. The rumors buzzing around school about Bella being a runner were ridiculous. She brushed everything off and proved herself at the first meet. She smoked the competition and set a new school record. Alice and I were there to congratulate her, along with Charlie.

"I'm so proud of you kid."

"Thanks dad!"

"Bella you are an incredible runner."

She blushed, "Thanks Edward."

I wrapped my arms around her and kissed her cheek, "I love you."

She pulled back and smiled at me before being engulfed into Alice's embrace.

"I can't believe it Bella. You shattered everyone and the old record. I can't wait for Monday."

Bella laughed, "I know. I need the perfect outfit though."

Alice squealed, "We can go shopping after Edward's match this afternoon."

"Good, but can we got eat now? I'm starving."

Charlie chuckled, "What did you have in mind Bella?"

She shrugged and winked at me, "Let's just go home so I can make some pasta. Edward needs a good meal before his match this afternoon."

I blushed and winked back. Alice caught out interaction and smiled brightly.

"Well let's get home then!" Charlie said.

Bella linked her arms in mine and Alice's and we all skipped to the cruiser. We managed to pile into the back, Bella was practically on top of me – not that I minded.

We got back to Bella's house and she started in on lunch. Charlie put a football game on in the living room and Alice joined him, leaving Bella and I alone in the kitchen.

"I'm proud of you, you know."

She turned around and melted into my chest, wrapping her arms around me, "You have no idea how much that means to me."

I brought my lips to her forehead and kissed her gently. I heard her sigh.

"You make me want to be a better person Bella."

She pulled back and looked into my eyes. I caught myself leaning towards her. Our lips met for a brief second before we heard Alice's gasp. We broke apart. Bella immediately went back to making lunch as Alice pulled me upstairs. She slammed Bella's bedroom door shut and started yelling at me.

"What on earth do you think you are doing?"

"I love her Alice."

"You have a girlfriend – who you refuse to break up with mind you."

"I know, I wasn't thinking. I just got caught up in the moment."

"You really do love her."

I nodded, "I forget about all the shit that Lauren puts me through daily when I am with Bella."

"You know, Charlie is a cop – maybe he can help."

I shook my head, "No. Believe me that would only make it worse. He wouldn't let me see Bella if he knew about me."

She sighed, "Fine. But be careful with her. If you break her heart again there is no going back and this time you're both in too deep."

"I know Alice. I don't want to break her heart. I love her so much it hurts."

"I know Edward, but just try."

"Guys! Lunch!"

That afternoon I put all Bella/Lauren crap aside and focused on the upcoming match. I needed to prove myself after last season's lackluster performance. Even with the drugs still in my system I had a great match. I had scored numerous times and managed to only get checked once. I watched my family in the stands – all in their Cullen jerseys.

After every goal their cheers went noticed by everyone – including me. I've never seen Bella so happy. Her smile made the hole in the chest feel slightly smaller.

I was in the locker room when I heard yet another rumor about Bella.

"Well I heard that she's anorexic and the running is only an alibi."

"That's ridiculous. Have you seen her? She is ripped. No anorexic could have the muscle tone she has."

"Dude you should have seen her this morning at the cross country meet. She was smoking! Her form is impeccable. I heard the coach bragging that on Sunday she blew away the two-mile record – best runner he's ever seen."

"You were there this morning Mike?"

"Sure was, and just between us. But Cullen and Bella looked pretty comfortable hugging one another."

"You don't think he dumped Lauren?"

"No one dumps Lauren. Once she has you under her hold, she doesn't let go easily."

I approached Mike then fuming, "Seriously Mike? Maybe the fact that Jessica cheated on me with you has nothing to do with this?"

Mike shrank back as I continued, "Bella and I have been best friends since Kindergarten and if any of you think otherwise then you will answer to me."

"Calm down Cullen. They're just rumors."

"Whatever guys. See you at practice Monday."

I stormed out of the locker room and straight into Bella.

"Hey," she said blushing.

"Hey sorry, I didn't see you there."

"You okay? You look kind of upset."

I wrapped my arms around her and pulled her close to me, "Fine now."

"Well then let's get to your house for supper," she said sprinting forward and out of my embrace.

I chased after her and my parents had nothing but smiles as we ran up to the car. We got to my house and I pulled her straight up to my room.

"Edward!"

"Come on Bella. I need to show you something."

She sighed, "Fine." She waved at everyone as we made our way up the stairs.

As soon as we got into my room I shrugged my shirt off and sat at my laptop. I glanced at Bella as her eyes widened, but she quickly composed herself.

"I found a website I thought you might like."

I let her sit down as I pulled up the site.

"Wow. This is great Edward. Are these really the correct splits and everything?"

"Sure are." I leaned over her shoulder, letting my chest rest on her. "See here. You are nationally ranked after today. I have no doubt that you will go all the way to state, even nationals."

Her eyes met mine, "You really think so?"

I spun her chair around so she was facing me, "I know so."

She glanced down. Our bodies were so close. My heart was pounding out of my chest and I wanted nothing more than to feel her skin against mine.

"Edward?" She asked peering through her lashes up at me.

I crouched down so that our eyes were level, "Yes Bella?"

She kept her eyes down as she spoke, "You remember the day Lauren kissed you in front of me?"

I only nodded.

"Well I didn't mean to throw my guitar at you. I actually wanted to hit her. I should have acted sooner and now it's too late…"

I cupped her face into my hands, "It's never too late Bella."

She rolled her chair back slightly and I let my hands drop. I walked over to my door and leaned against it. Bella stood up and peeled off her Cullen jersey. She sauntered her way up to me and placed her hands on the door by my head.

She nodded, "It's never too late." She pressed her lips and entire body against mine. I slid my right hand down and flicked my lock. I placed my hands on her waist and held her hips to mine. I grinded my hips into hers and we both moaned.

We parted for only a brief second in order for us to make our way to my bed. Bella threw me down and climbed on top of me straddling my waist. She ripped off her tank top and my eyes trailed her glorious body. Her abs were slightly defined and she still had a curve to her hips. I let my fingers slide down her stomach and back up.

She arched her back when I let my fingers slip under her bra. I palmed her breasts – she fit perfectly in my hands.

"Perfect," I whispered.

She blushed and brought her lips back down to mine. Her fingers trailed down my stomach until they reached the waistband of my shorts. She started pulling on them but I grabbed her wrists.

"Bella…"

Instead of answering she simply reached behind her back and pulled the clasp apart on her bra. I brought her right nipple to my mouth and sucked gently. Her fingers slid down my shorts and boxers and her right hand grabbed my length.

"Fuck Bella," I moaned as she began to stroke me.

I gently kneaded her left breast while I continued to suck on her right nipple – it was sheer heaven. I started to slide my left hand down her stomach. I reached her waistband and pulled down her jeans as best I could. I started stroking her clit and she writhed on top of me. I quickly took command and flipped us over, taking off her jeans and underwear in the process. She quickly did the same with my shorts and boxers.

She grabbed my length again and stroked me harder. I pinched her clit and slid two fingers into her.

She rested her forehead against mine, "Don't stop Edward."

I nodded, "Never. I'll never stop loving you – ever."

I pumped faster in and out of her, pinched her clit and took her nipples back and forth in my mouth. She didn't last long as her moans overtook her. She clamped around my fingers and writhed under me. I pressed my lips against hers and rolled off her. She curled into my chest and began stroking me harder and faster.

"Your turn," she murmured kissing my ear. She kissed all the way down my body until her lips wrapped around my cock. She sucked me up and down, applying just the right amount of pressure at certain times. She swirled her tongue around me and I exploded into her mouth. She winked at me and swallowed every last drop. Then she kissed her way back up my abs until she reached my lips.

"Bella – that was incredible."

"It's always been all for you Edward and it always will be."

We both got dressed and made our way back downstairs. Alice only smiled at us ad we took our seats at the dinner table.

Just as we started eating my phone rang. I pressed ignore because I knew who it was. We just finished eating when the doorbell rang. I groaned and ran my fingers through my hair.

"I'll get it." I opened the door and pushed Lauren outside with me, "What Lauren?"

"Don't what me Edward! I saw the picture of you at her cross country meet!"

"Oh jeeze! I went with Alice, okay?"

"Do you want me to tell your whole family your secret right now? Cause I'll do it. Don't push me Edward. You are mine now!"

I pulled away from her, "I've never been yours. You don't own me Lauren."

She pulled out a joint, "No I don't, but I guess this does."

I swatted it out of her hand, "That's where you are wrong. I don't want that stuff anymore. It ruined me all last season and I won't lose my Dartmouth scholarship over that."

"Come on Eddie. You're no fun anymore."

I took a breath, "Lauren I have responsibilities this year. I wish you would come to one of my matches and see how good I am."

"But it is so boring."

"Thanks," I muttered.

"Why are you such a downer lately?"

I grabbed her hands, "Lauren can we just take a break?"

"You'd better not be breaking up with me."

"No, of course not. I just think we need a little time apart. I want to really focus on Lacrosse this season. Please Lauren I need to do this."

She shrugged, "I guess. I mean you only have what… like ten matches left?"

I nodded, "Unless we make it to playoffs. I would like to since I blew last year."

She shrugged again, "Okay whatever. I'll see you around."


	10. Chapter 9

**Chapter 9 – Friends with Benefits**** – BPOV**

Edward came back into the house. I had stayed in the kitchen, totally not eavesdropping, just waiting for him.

"Bella?"

"In the kitchen Edward."

He came in and sat down beside me, "So glad she's gone."

"What did she want?"

He chuckled, "Me – of course. She thought we could hang out but I told her that I always spend after my matches with my family, which I will do from now on."

He rested his head on my shoulder and sighed.

"Edward, what are we?"

"Bella I would love more than anything for you to be my girlfriend, but given the circumstances…"

"That's okay Edward. I like that we are friend – best friends."

"We're more than that Bella. I want all my firsts with you. You are the only one I want to experience things with."

"So best friends with benefits?"

He pressed his lips against mine, "I love you."

"I love you too."

He grabbed my hand and led me back upstairs to his bedroom. We laid down on his bed. I curled into his chest and he wrapped his arms around me.

"This is so right Bella. I've been such an idiot. I told Lauren I wanted to take a break because of Lacrosse but I don't want to go back out with her again."

"So don't."

"It's not that simple."

"I'm afraid what we're doing isn't going to make things any more simpler though."

"I know, but I don't want to stop. I can't – we're in too deep now."

"I agree, but what about school?"

"Well we can talk – we are in almost all the same classes."

"I suppose anything more than that will be suspicious."

"Yeah. Just as long as Alice is at your meets, I can go and you have always come to mine so that won't change."

"Think I could come over here some times to do homework?"

"That won't be a problem as long as Alice is here."

"I know. See this can work."

He took my face into his hands, "Are you sure I'm worth all this trouble?"

I kissed him and rolled on top of him, "You are worth so much more than what I am giving you, but for now this will have to do."

The next few weeks were much the same. We had reconnected and our friendship was stronger than ever. I had broken so many school records, but it still didn't help my reputation. Edward and I continued our friendly banter at school and no one paid any mind to us – we did a lot of the same classes.

Almost every night I was at his house after practice and we would do our homework – if not more. Our oral sex life had taken off and we were pleasuring one another so much that I felt like I would explode with how much I loved him. And he continued to profess his love for me.

Lacrosse season was soon coming to an end and I was worried that things would change – so did Edward. They had made it to the playoffs and they had a great chance of winning state – problem was I was in line to go to state as well – same weekend as the Lacrosse team.

"Bella, don't worry about it. We will figure it out."

"I need you there Edward."

"Just as I need you. We still have two more playoff matches so we just need to wait and see."

"Coach says I'm guaranteed a spot… I just don't want to let anyone down."

He cupped my face into his hands, "Don't talk like that Love. You will do just fine. I will be there at the finish line waiting for you."

"You promise?"

He nodded, "I'll be the first thing you see when you come down that straight-away."

I threw my arms around him, "I need you there more than you know."

"I know how you feel Bella. Even if you are late to a match, I feel empty until you get there."

I kissed him passionately, "I love you so much. I always have and I always will."

He kissed me back with fervor. He moaned into my mouth as our tongues danced. We were broken apart when someone knocked on his bedroom door.

Alice poked her head in, "Bella?"

"Yes Alice?"

"I was wondering if you guys were done with homework yet?"

"We just finished."

"Do you think we could talk?"

I stood and grabbed my things, "Of course. Good night Edward. See you tomorrow in class."

"Night Bella."

I followed Alice to her room where she proceeded to shut her door and lock it. She sat down on her bed and held her head in her hands.

I sat down next to her and put my hand on her shoulder, "What is it Alice?"

She kept her head down, "Would you mind explaining to me what you are doing with my brother?"

I took in a sharp breath, "We're friends Alice."

Her head snapped up, "Friends? Come on Bella – don't lie to me about this!"

She was visibly upset, "Well… we've been kind of fooling around the past two months."

"Fooling around? Last time I checked Bella, he still had a girlfriend."

"Technically yes, emotionally no."

"What the hell is that suppose to mean?"

"It means he doesn't love her but he can't figure out how to get rid of her."

"So you've told him how you felt?"

"We both love each other Alice. I thought you of all people would be happy about this?"

"Bella do you realize the situation you are putting me in? I now have to lie to everyone about you two. Why in the hell would you decide to become friends with benefits?"

"Because it's the only way we can be close to one another."

"You are setting yourself up for a lot of hurt Bella."

I shook my head, "That's where you are wrong. Edward loves me."

"But he's still with Lauren."

"For now."

"Exactly! Why doesn't he just dump her?"

"Because he can't. He was lucky she agreed to the taking time apart while he was doing Lacrosse."

"Which could very well end this weekend!"

"I know! Don't you think I realize the position I have put myself in? We have discussed this over and over but we love each other Alice. There is no other way right now!"

"I don't want to see you get hurt. I don't think I can take the eighth grade and Jessica thing all over again."

I flinched remembering all the pain he had put me through. I shook my head, "It's different now. We're different people."

She stood up, "I hope you're right."

The next few days I thought a lot about what Alice said. I tried to talk to Edward about it, but I couldn't – I didn't want her to be right and I couldn't stand to lose him like that again. Regionals were this weekend for both of us. I had to leave school early on Friday in order to run Friday night. Everyone was there for me when I crossed the finish line.

Edward was the first one I saw – just like he promised. He threw his arms around me and spun me around, "I'm so proud of you Love."

I blushed as he set me down. He kissed my cheek and passed me off to the rest of his family, as well as my dad.

"I'm so proud of you Bells."

"Thanks dad. I couldn't have done it without you."

Alice grabbed my hand and held it high, "One regional championship down, one to go."

Everyone cheered and we all headed back to Forks for the big Lacrosse match that was scheduled for the next afternoon. That night I stayed with Edward. Needless to say we wanted to take our relationship to the next level but I decided against it.

"Why can't we just wait Edward?"

"Because I love you. Lacrosse is almost over – I don't know how much more time I have with you."

"So you want to make love to me because you are going to dump me after Lacrosse is over?"

"No, of course not. But Lauren will be back in the picture. I don't know how we are going to continue this so secretly."

"Well Alice knows – so it's not a total secret."

"What? How?"

"Last Tuesday night – she confronted me about it. It's Alice, Edward – your sister and my best friend. At the most she has told Jasper."

"I just need you Bella. I don't know what I would do if I lost you."

I brought my hand to his face, "You aren't going to lose me. But making love isn't something I am ready for. I mean we aren't even technically dating Edward."

"I want to be if that means anything to you at all."

"Of course it means something to me Edward, but technically you are still dating Lauren."

"God please don't bring up her name now. I can't stand to even think about her."

"Would you just break up with her already?"

"I can't and you know that!"

I rolled over, "Fine. Good night Edward"

That night I let the tears fall from my eyes as he slept. I knew this would all come crashing down on me. The next morning I was out of bed before him. I went downstairs and made breakfast for everyone. It was all I could do to keep from screaming.

"Morning Bella."

"Morning Carlisle. Ready for today?"

"I've never been more proud of him. He's worked so hard this year to make up for his mistakes from last year."

I nodded, "Yes he has."

Esme came into the kitchen then, "Bella you didn't make us all breakfast did you?"

"I sure did. I couldn't sleep."

"Wonder why?" Edward said as he came in and took his seat. I flinched at his tone and hurried out of the kitchen. The tears were streaming down my cheeks as I ran into Alice and Jasper on the stairs.

"Bella, what's wrong?"

"Nothing I'm fine. I made everyone breakfast. You should enjoy it before Emmett eats it all."

Alice grabbed my arm, "It happened didn't it?"

"You were right Alice. You always are."

I pulled away from her and ran to grab my bags from Edward's room. I was on my way out when Jasper blocked the doorway.

"Can we talk Bella?"

I shrank into his arms, "I love him Jazz."

He pulled me into his arms and back to Alice's room. He sat with me on her bed in his lap.

"Bella you knew this would be a possibility when you started all this."

I nodded, "I know. I just didn't think it would end so abruptly."

He held me tighter and kissed my hair, "Oh sweet Bella."

"I don't think I can face him today Jasper."

"He needs you there, Bella."

I shook my head, "You weren't there last night. He still refuses to tell me why he won't break up with her."

"He will in time Bella, you just need to be patient."

I stood up, "He's had two months and we've known each other since we were five. If he can't trust me now then he never will."

Alice knocked on the door, "Can I come in?"

I opened the door for her, "Sure Al. I was just leaving anyway."

"You aren't going to Edward's game with us?"

I shrugged, "I don't think he wants me there."

She stood in the doorway with her arms folded across her chest, "Well I want you there."

I sighed, "Fine. Just let me get changed."

The ride there was excruciating. I sat in the back next to Edward and we didn't even look at each other. We got to the field and Edward climbed out first, grabbing all his things. Everyone wished him good luck but I just stood there.

He glanced at me, "Bella can I talk to you for a moment?"

Everyone made their way towards the field, leaving us alone.

"Look Bella. I'm sorry about last night. It's not that I don't trust you – please understand that."

"I don't Edward. I don't understand how two people who have been best friends for twelve years can't have open communication about something like this."

"God Bella I want to tell you so badly. But you wouldn't think the same of me anymore. I can't let this drive a wedge between us."

"It's too late. You drove that wedge hard and deep last night."

He looked down, "I'm so sorry for doing this to you – to us. Please understand how much I love you Isabella Swan."

And I did the hardest thing I have ever done. I leaned forward, kissed his cheek and whispered, "Good Luck Edward." Then I turned around and ran to catch up with his family.

Amazingly enough Edward played a great game. He was so focused and determined – apparently our break up had no effect on him whatsoever. That night we all celebrated and I had my dad pick me up early. I said good night to everyone and crawled into the cruiser.

"Great game then huh?"

"It was good dad. Edward was voted MVP."

"Great for him. Did the Dartmouth scout come out?"

"I'm not sure."

"Why so glum Bella? You look like you've been crying."

I wiped a few tears away, "I'm fine dad. It's just no one will come to my meet next weekend because it is the same time as Edward's game."

He placed his hand on my knee, "I'll be there kiddo. With bells, whistles – the whole shebang."

I giggled, "Thanks dad."

That next week was miserable. I ran dreadfully at practice. I couldn't get my mind off of him. It was Friday after school and coach had called me into his office.

"Bella are you okay? You've had a pretty tough week."

I shrugged, "Fine coach. Just a lot on my mind."

"Now's not really the time for all this extra baggage Bella."

"I know. I'm trying. I just feel like there is a hole inside of my chest."

"So use it."

"I don't remember how to run away the pain anymore. I've been so happy these past two months that I forgot what it was like to feel so… empty."

He leaned across his desk and stared at me, "You need to focus on those emotions Bella. Let it all out tomorrow morning. Run away all the tears, fear, and emptiness – remember what it felt like two months ago."

"I'll try. I think I just need to get a good night's sleep."

"I'll see you tomorrow morning at 8 AM sharp. You don't run until 11, but we need to get a good move on or we'll miss your check in."

"Okay. See you tomorrow morning."

That night I fell asleep crying, yet again. I did sleep for about ten hours but it wasn't the most restful sleep, but it would have to do. Just as I was getting ready to leave my cell rang.

"Bella?"

"What do you want Edward?"

"I just wanted to wish you good luck today. We all wish we could be there to watch you break yet another record."

"I don't need this right now Edward."

"No, don't hang up. Please Bella. I wanted to call to apologize. I'm sorry for leading you on these past two months. It was wrong and irresponsible of me."

My heart was in my throat, "Leading me on?"

"I should have told you from the beginning that I was using you. I didn't want to tell you this today, but you needed to know why I did it. I was selfish Bella. I wanted someone to hurt as much as I was. You filled the hole in my chest and I didn't care that about the consequences."

"Stop! Just stop! You are a pitiful excuse for a human being. I hate you and don't ever talk to me again. Good luck today and good bye Edward."

I shut the phone and threw it against the wall. I ran from the house and to the school. Coach was waiting for me. We made the drive to Port Angeles and I tried my best to stay together the whole way there. I held my chest with my right hand and wrapped my left arm around my waist.

We pulled into the parking lot at the meet and my dad pulled up behind us. I climbed out of the school van and rushed into his arms. He held me as I cried. We stayed that way for several minutes.

"Bella what is it?"

"He's gone dad. He was only using me."

"Who Edward? That's ridiculous. I just got off the phone with him. They somehow managed to rearrange everything and the state finals are just down the road. He is going to be here, right along with the rest of the Cullen's."

I cried harder, "Please keep him away from me dad. I can't stand to know that he will be here."

"You need to calm down Bella. You have a race to run."

I pulled back and looked up at him. I glanced over at my coach and teammates – all whom were staring at me wide-eyed.

"And a race I am going to win."

I walked over to everyone and stared at them, "We have a race to kick some ass in."

Cheers erupted and we marched our way towards the check-in stand. Once we were stretched and suited up coach took my aside.

"How are you?"

"I'm pissed off."

"Are you going to use that today?"

"I'm going to win with it today."

He hugged me, "Glad to have you back Bella."


	11. Chapter 10

**Chapter 10 – Shattering What Was Left**** – EPOV**

"Lauren! What are you doing here?"

"I'm here to be with you silly."

"But Lacrosse season isn't over until next weekend."

"I'm tired of getting high without you Eddie. When are you coming back to me?"

"I told you, as soon as Lacrosse was over."

"Don't be so naïve Eddie. I know what you've been doing with your so-called best friend."

"I don't have any idea of what you are talking about Lauren."

"Don't think of me as being so stupid Edward. Honestly you didn't think I would find out that you've been messing around with Bella while we were _apart_."

"Lauren, seriously? Bella?"

Her right hand landed across my cheek, "I'm not stupid. I have proof!"

She threw down the photos of Bella and I along with phone conversations.

"How did you…"

"It doesn't matter. What does matter is that it is going to end right now. I won't make you do anything this week but as soon as your game is over next weekend you are mine again. You can kiss you Dartmouth full-ride good-bye. You will be going to college with me, if not then everyone finds out about what you've been doing off the field with me and Bella."

"Lauren – you can't do this to her. She's been through so much already. I'll do whatever you want, please."

"Fine. First things first – you are going to not speak with her all week, then Saturday morning you will call her. You need to break her heart Edward. I already have your script written for you."

I read it over, "Lauren I can't do this to her before she runs. She has a good chance of winning – this would surely break her."

"Exactly."

That next week Lauren was always with me. I only saw Bella in class but we didn't speak to one another. I saw her face though and that was enough for me. The hole in my chest continued to grow without her.

Saturday morning Lauren came over early and handed me my cell phone and script, "Call her Edward."

I swallowed and dialed her number. She answered on the first ring.

"Bella?"

"What do you want Edward?"

"I just wanted to wish you good luck today. We all wish we could be there to watch you break yet another record."

"I don't need this right now Edward."

"No, don't hang up. Please Bella. I wanted to call to apologize. I'm sorry for leading you on these past two months. It was wrong and irresponsible of me."

I waited anxiously for her heartbreaking response, "Leading me on?"

"I should have told you from the beginning that I was using you. I didn't want to tell you this today, but you needed to know why I did it. I was selfish Bella. I wanted someone to hurt as much as I was. You filled the hole in my chest and I didn't care that about the consequences."

"Stop! Just stop! You are a pitiful excuse for a human being. I hate you and don't ever talk to me again. Good luck today and good bye Edward."

I shut the phone and watched Lauren laugh wickedly.

"Oh that was just too funny. Now the next part is the best news. My daddy managed to pull some strings and guess where your game is today?"

I swallowed – hard, "Where?"

"Well right next door to Bella's Cross Country Meet of course!"

My eyes widened, "No Lauren. I can't go. It would surely crush her."

"That is where you are wrong. You're parents are already packing. Everyone is excited that they get to see Bella and you perform today."

I crawled out of bed and took a shower. When I got out Lauren was gone but she left a note: _Party – my place, after you win state, of course._

I threw the note into the trash and pulled on my uniform along with my warm-ups. I packed my bag and headed downstairs.

"Did you hear Edward?"

I nodded and forced a smile, "Sure did mom."

She wrapped her arms around me, "Oh this day is going to be so perfect."

I nodded, "Sure is."

We all got in the car and headed to Port Angeles. When we got there I immediately noticed Bella stretching and warming up with her teammates. I stayed hidden – only god knew what would happen if she saw me now.

We found some good seats and just waited. Alice and Jasper sat on either sides of me, mom and dad in front of me, and Emmett and Rosalie behind me – I felt completely trapped.

"You okay there, Edward? You seem tense."

"Fine Jasper. Just nervous about later."

He eyed Alice.

"You mean nervous about approaching Bella or nervous about your game?"

I sighed, "Both. I didn't tell her we would be here."

"Why not?"

"If you haven't noticed Alice, we didn't talk all week."

"Yeah, what was with that? You two were glued to the hip up until this week?" Emmett chimed in.

"It's complicated."

"You broke her heart didn't you?" Jasper whispered.

I nodded, "I had no choice. Lauren found out about everything and she threatened Bella. I had to end it."

Just then Bella glanced towards us and crumbled to the grass. Alice screamed at me, "What have you done?"

"I did what was necessary to keep her safe Alice!"

"You are not my brother Edward Cullen," and she crossed her arms and turned away from me. I got a sympathetic look from Jasper and Rose just smacked me across the back of the head.

I sat there, wallowing in self-pity while the coach helped Bella to her feet. She shrugged everyone off and stomped towards the starting line. Her teammates quickly followed her lead. A few minutes later the meet started and Bella took of – leaving everyone behind her.

Everyone sat in anticipation for the first signs of anything about ten minutes into the race. Bella had majorally increased her time from the seventeen minutes from her first XC race. We could hear shouting coming from somewhere but no one saw anything yet. The whole crowd stood as Bella came into view.

The pain on her face was evident but she was full out sprinted towards the finish line. There was no one else in sight. The announcer screamed over the loud speaker that she was indeed going to break the record. I saw Charlie screaming for her, along with my parents and other family members. I sat there with my head in my hands, I would never get to tell her how I really felt and the hole took over everything in my body.

Just as she finished I stood. She caught my eyes immediately and wiped her face before completely collapsing into her coach's arms. He stood her upright and walked her around the infield. She was panting and holding her left around her waist. About two minutes later, the rest of the runners came into view. Forks high school represented a good batch of those coming in.

The race was over and everyone was headed down to congratulate Bella. I followed along, trudging behind Emmett and Rose.

Alice was the first one to reach her, "Bella you were amazing!"

I kept my eyes glued to the ground.

"Thanks Alice. I didn't know all of you were going to be here."

My parents engulfed her in hugs, "We are so proud of you Bella. We wouldn't have missed this for anything."

Everyone continued their friendly banter for a little while longer until Bella's coach came to get her.

"Bella we have some pictures to take and there are some scouts that would like to talk to you."

She nodded and left. Everyone just stood around until I spoke up, "Um… I have to be at the field in about an hour."

"Of course Edward. Charlie will we see you there?" My dad asked.

Charlie's hand slapped down on my shoulder, "You better believe it. We wouldn't miss Edward win the State Championship for anything."

I forced a smile and followed my family back to the car. They dropped me off and I found my team.

"There you are Edward. We were beginning to wonder if you were going to show up at all."

"Sorry guys. My family wanted to watch the Cross Country Meet."

"Oh yea! How'd Bella do?"

"Good I guess," I said shrugging.

Mike spun me around, "Just good. Come on Edward you can give us more details than that."

I sighed, "She won individually – broke the record and the whole team placed first."

"Wow," everyone muttered at the same time.

My mind was reeling. I couldn't focus. I just wanted to talk to her. After we warmed up I spotted her next to my family and I smiled and waved at her. She quickly looked away. My heart plummeted – I had lost her for good. I tried to focus now that I knew it was truly over.

It was the best – and worst – game of my life. I played with so much aggression that I ended up scoring six goals in the first two quarters. We won in the end and I blew off my family and caught a ride home with the team. I felt my phone vibrating but I ignored that as well. As soon as Mike dropped me off at home I grabbed my keys and headed to Lauren's. I needed to get fucked up really bad.

The next three months were completely wasted. I don't remember anything at all. I was so high all the time that I ended up skipping class quite frequently. My parents were at their wits end with me and even my brother and sister, and their significant others, weren't speaking to me. On the days I did manage to make it to school I slacked off and didn't do anything.

"Edward?"

"Hey Jazz! You talking to me now?"

"Not really. I just wanted to let you know that if you ever need to talk about anything – I'm here."

"Thanks, but no thanks. I've Lauren to talk to."

"Yea, and how's that going?" He said walking off. Fuck him – I didn't need him.

Lauren strolled up to me, "Hey baby. You ready to ditch the rest of the day?"

"Can't. I have test last period."

"Oh come on Eddie."

"Lauren just let me take my fucking test, okay? I'll see you after school." I shrugged out of her embrace and walked into my first class. Bella sat there, eyes down as I took my usual seat next to her. We hadn't spoken in more than a month and I wasn't about to go down that road again.

Class ended and she bolted out before I could even think about standing up. I noticed she left her notebook though. I picked up it, thinking I would just give it to her next period but as I was walking out of class she rushed straight into me.

She fell backwards and landed on her ass, making everyone in the hall laugh. She groaned and got up. She snatched her notebook from my hands, "Thanks a lot."

Two could play this game, "Why don't you watch where you are walking next time Swan."

The whole hallway let out more laughs as she froze in her spot. She turned on her heel and approached me, "Excuse me?"

I glared down at her, "You heard me."

"No I don't think I did because last time I checked you meant nothing to every single person, except one, in this whole school. So what gives you the right to judge me?"

I leaned down and brought my lips to her ear, "Because if you know what's good for you – you'll stay out of my way or I'll make your life a living hell."

She took a step back and eyed me carefully, "I can't believe I used to love you Edward Cullen. You are such a waste of space anymore. Why don't you go find your little slut of a girlfriend and not show up for a week – per usual."

The whole hallway roared as my face turned red. I stormed after her and pinned her against a locker, "What the hell is your problem Bella?"

She pushed me away, "My problem? Are you fucking serious?"

I only nodded. She simply shook her head and walked into class. I followed her and she took a seat in the very back corner – basically as far away as she could get from me. I was pissed of the rest of the day. When I got to Lauren's that night she confronted me about the Bella situation.

"Who in the hell does she think she is talking to you like that?"

"Calm down baby. It doesn't bother me."

"It does me – she insulted me too you know."

I shrugged, "She's pathetic Lauren. She still can't get over the fact that her mom died. Running is the only thing she'll ever be good at," I said winking. "I feel sorry for her. She has no one and never has really fit in."

"Really?"

I nodded, "She's not worth our time."

She nodded, smiling at me.

"I have an idea Eddie. One that will make her regret ever talking to you like that."

"Don't bother Lauren. She's leaving for Dartmouth in May."

"Even more perfect," she said wickedly.

It was the February showcase and seniors could prepare songs and talents to help raise money for our senior class party at the end of the year. Lauren had dragged me to it, for some strange reason. I didn't know who was in it or anything about it but I went with her. We sat in the front row and watched the competition start.

Mike and Jessica were up first. They had a stand-up act that was pretty good. The talents went on and on until finally the last person walked on stage – Bella.

I leaned over to Lauren, "This should be good."

She smiled at me and kissed my lips. I looked back up at the stage and watched the pain come across Bella's face. She sighed.

"I wrote this song for someone I cared about. I hope you like it."

(Song and Lyrics by Taylor Swift – _A Perfectly Good Heart_)

Why would you wanna break a perfectly good heart?

Why would you wanna take our love and tear it all apart?

Now, why would you wanna make the very first scar?

Why would you wanna break a perfectly good heart?

Maybe I should've seen the sign

Should've read the writing on the wall

And realized by the distance in your eyes

That I would be the one to fall

No matter what you say, I still can't believe

That you would walk away, it don't make sense to me

But why would you wanna break a perfectly good heart?

Why would you wanna take our love and tear it all apart?

Now, why would you wanna make the very first scar?

Why would you wanna break a perfectly good heart?

It's not unbroken anymore

How do I get it back the way it was before?

Why would you wanna break a perfectly good heart?

Why would you wanna take our love and tear it all apart?

Now, why would you wanna make the very first scar?

Why would you wanna break?

Why would you wanna break, yea?

Why would you wanna break a perfectly good heart?

Why would you wanna take our love and tear it all apart?

Now, why would you wanna make the very first scar?

Why would you wanna break a perfectly good heart?

She ended her song, wiped a tear from her eye and walked off stage. I have never in my life loved her more than that moment. I didn't know how but I would get her back.


	12. Chapter 11

**Chapter 11 – Sometimes You Just Can't Forgive**** – BPOV**

It had been a year and a half since that fateful day Lauren kissed Edward in front of me. It had also been three months since we had called it quits as friends. We were graduating three months and I was ready to get out of Forks and away from Edward Cullen for good.

I was walking towards my last period class when I walked by him. I smiled at him but he never returned it so I kept walking. He hadn't spoken to me in three months – since our little fight in the hallway. After school I was at my locker when I was suddenly shoved into it – hard.

"She is such a freak, don't you agree Baby?"

I turned around to see Edward and Lauren hand in hand with their little minions behind them. Edward just looked down not wanting to say anything.

"I can't believe you use to be friends with her before. How did you put up with such disregard for lack of fashion?"

Everyone started laughing, Edward stayed silent. I turned around and grabbed the rest of my things. I tried to walk off but Lauren stood in my way.

"Lauren I would like to get home, please let me by."

She just laughed at me, "Baby why don't you tell Bella how you really feel about her. What you were telling us all at lunch?"

He just shook his head, "Lauren let's just go back to my place."

She marched over to him giving me a chance to escape. I didn't listen to her bitch him out as I walked away. I didn't make it very far because my shoulders were gripped very tightly just as I reached the front doors of the school.

Lauren whipped me around and threw me at Edward. He held his hands out to steady me.

"Tell her Edward."

He closed his eyes and punched his nose. He ran his remaining hand through his hair and sighed. He did this every time he was upset and nervous. I had seen it a thousand times. He didn't say anything as he looked at me.

"Tell her how pathetic you think she is. The fact that she can't let her mom's death go and how she calls you and bugs you to hang out with her. How you feel sorry for her and that is the only reason why you even answer her calls."

I felt the tears build up in my eyes, I refused to let him, or any of them for that matter, see me cry.

The dagger through the heart was his words.

"You aren't worth my time Isabella Swan." With that he walked passed me, out of the school. I don't know how I made it to my truck but I did. That night I don't remember how I managed to fall asleep. I cried all night long. I cried because my feelings had been hurt, I cried because Edward was no longer the person I thought he was, and I cried for my mom.

The next day at school was even worse. Lauren was torture everywhere I turned. I was being pushed and shoved by people I didn't even know. I was at my truck at the end of the day when I heard him behind me.

"Bella please. I'm so sorry – I have a reputation to uphold now."

I turned around and smacked him across the face, "You know the Edward Cullen I know and loved, the one who use to be my best friend, would have never insulted me. He would have turned around and laughed at his fake friends and walked off holding my hand."

His face fell, "I'm not that person anymore Bella."

"You're right. That Edward died three months ago – no wait – a year and a half ago along with our friendship."

I climbed into my truck, tears streaming down my face. That was the second night I had cried over him and I was sure it wasn't going to be the last.

Alice caught up with me the next day.

"Bella you need to forgive Edward. You don't understand what is really going on."

"I don't care Alice. He hurt me. I can't forgive that anymore. He has blown me off for four years. Well I am done now! We graduate in soon and I fully intend on getting the hell out of dodge and never looking back."

She grabbed my arm, "You need to tell him how you feel Bella. He needs to know."

I shook my head, "He knows how I feel. I told him everything about five months ago and I thought he felt the same. He used me Alice! I am done trying now. I just want to graduate and forget about the years of heartache he has put me through."

"If he knew how you still felt, well maybe that would change his mind."

"He feels perfectly fine with his little life. He chose to be popular and he chose to blow me off time and time again. But you know what? I am done."

I walked away, tears streaming down my face. I didn't realize I had bumped into her until I looked up.

"I'm sorry Bella. I didn't see you," she sneered.

She tried to help me up, "I'm fine Lauren. Please go on with your life pretending as if I didn't exist."

I got up and turned to walk away but she grabbed me by my hair and slammed me into the lockers.

"You stay away from Edward, do you hear me? He is mine now."

"I don't care Lauren. He may have been my best friend since Kindergarten but not anymore – he's all yours bitch."

And with that I walked away from her shoving her shoulder with mine as I walked by. I made it to my truck and let the tears fall. I was done with him – he was hers now and he had made that perfectly clear to me on more than one occasion.

I let my thoughts wander to what went wrong – he had hated her in Kindergarten.

_My dad held my hand as we walked into the classroom. The first day of kindergarten can be hard on a child – luckily I would have my daddy – the chief of police – next to my side._

_I looked up at him as he smiled down at me. My teacher came over to us._

"_Good morning Chief Swan and who might this lovely young lady be?"_

"_My name's Bella!" I exclaimed excitedly as I reached out my other hand so I could shake hers._

"_It's nice to meet you Bella. My name is Ms. June. Would you like to go find yourself a seat?"_

_I nodded and walked right up to a bronze-haired boy and sat down next to him. He was coloring a picture of a dog. I grabbed some crayons and colored my dog picture as well. A tiny girl was sitting next to him. She was about half his size in every single way._

_She waved at me, "My name's Alice!"_

_I smiled back, "I'm Bella."_

_We all continued to color our picture. The boy I was sitting next to finally looked up and smiled at me._

_I smiled back._

_It wasn't until recess that I learned his name. He was sitting on the swings drawing in the dirt with his foot. Another girl in our class ran up to him and pushed him off the swing._

_He landed hard on the dirt, but stood up and brushed himself off. He looked over at me and smiled again._

_I smiled back._

_His sister ran up to him, "I think Lauren likes you Edward."_

_I stood up and walked over to them, "Yeah right Alice! If Lauren really did like Edward she wouldn't have pushed him off the swing."_

_He nodded and smiled at me again._

_I skipped away coyly looking for my target. I found her on the jungle gym. I stood next to her while she hung upside down. She was wearing a jean skirt – big mistake. I pulled her skirt down so that everyone could see her underwear._

_I skipped back to Edward, a huge smile on my face. Alice was on the ground laughing._

_Edward took my hand into his, "I like you Bella. I think we are going to be great friends."_

I sat in my truck and remembered those words. Suddenly there was a knock on my window. I jumped and looked over to see Edward smiling at me. I quickly wiped away my tears and rolled down my window.

"What do you want now Edward?"

"I wanted to talk to you."

"About how your girlfriend attacked me in the hallway today and told me to stay away from you? I don't think so."

"No Bella, please let me explain. Can I meet you at your house?"

"Fine, whatever. I don't care what you do anymore."

I started my truck and didn't care about the fact that he was following me home. I shut off my truck and grabbed my things. He opened the door for me and I didn't even acknowledge it.

I made my way into the house and threw my things onto the kitchen floor. I sank into my dad's recliner and he sat across from me on the couch.

"What do you want Edward?"

He held his face in his hands, "I want to apologize Bella."

"For what?"

He looked up at me, "For treating you how I did the other day."

My anger had reached its boiling point, "Just for yesterday? How about for the last four years. Every fucking time you blew me off to be with your other friends. I forgave you then because I didn't know any better but the other day was the last straw. I don't fucking want you around me anymore."

I got up to leave but he blocked my path. He placed his hands on my shoulders to stop me.

"Please Bella. I don't know how I can fix this but I have to. I can't survive without you. You're song Bella… I know exactly what you meant. I can't believe I've made that scar."

I stared straight ahead, "You seem to be doing a pretty good job of surviving without me. Go back to ignoring me Edward. It made it easier on both of us."

He turned me around to face him. He cupped my face into his hands and stared into my eyes.

"Tell me what I need to do to fix this."

I pulled away and took a step back, "There is nothing you can do anymore to fix this. There is no this anymore," I said pointing at the space between us.

He walked towards me but I just backed up further, "Just leave Edward. I don't want you as my friend anymore – not that you have been much of one the past year and a half. I am leaving for Dartmouth right after graduation and I have no plans of looking back."

The tears streamed down my face as I made my way upstairs. He was right there behind me. I tried to slam my door in his face but his foot stopped it.

"Don't do this Bella. Please don't throw away our friendship."

I turned around quickly and smacked him across the face for the second time this week.

"Don't you fucking dare blame this on me. I have been nothing but a friend to you. I was there for you when Jessica dumped your sorry ass for Mike. I was happy for you when you started dating Lauren. We were fucking friends with benefits for crying out loud! You were the one that threw us away. I'm done trying to fix it. We can't fix this anymore – I am too hurt."

Tears trickled down his cheeks, "I need you Bella."

"Well you should have thought of that before you stabbed me in the back yesterday. It was the final nail in the coffin Edward. You insulted the way I look, dress, carry myself. How could you tell them about my mom? You were there for me when she died and you just threw it in my face as if I meant nothing to you!"

"I'm so sorry Bella. I wasn't thinking when I told Lauren those things."

I smacked him again – three times now.

"You aren't worth my time anymore."

He grabbed my hands, tears were streaming down his face now, "Please don't say that Bella."

I pulled back and walked passed him. I went down the steps and found the keys to my truck. I opened the front door but was stopped by him yet again.

I pushed him away, "If you aren't leaving I am."

He grabbed my wrist and pulled me into his arms.

"I don't want to leave and I don't want you too either."

His voice was soft but yet demanding. I looked up at him just as he pressed his lips to mine. His arms tightened around me and I melted into his lips.

He swept me up into his arms and carried me quickly up the stairs to my bedroom. He was hovering over me on the bed pressing his lips to every open area of skin I had.

"I'm so sorry Bella. I need you – always."

I just nodded as his lips pressed against mine again. I felt every line of his body against mine and it caused me to moan.

He stripped me of my clothing as well as his. He kissed down my body until he got to my thighs. I felt his tongue along my folds.

"You taste exquisite, Love."

I felt my whole body blush as he slid his tongue inside me. I moaned again as he sucked on my clit and twisted my nipples with his fingers. He kissed back up my body and pressed his lips against mine.

He moved my legs open further with his knees and lowered his hips to mine. I could feel him at my opening.

"I've wanted you for so long Bella."

I threw my arms around his neck, "I've always loved you Edward."

He slid himself inside me slowly. When he broke through my barrier I winced but he kissed away my tears as he waited. I nodded for him to continue and he slid in and out of me with passion.

Soon our moans overtook us and we were rocking back and forth in a steady motion.

"God you feel so amazing Bella. I don't want anyone else but you."

I pressed my lips to his, "You don't know how long I've waited to hear you say that."

I could feel myself beginning to climax.

"Don't stop Edward."

"I have no intention on doing so, Love."

He pumped in and out faster now as my muscles clenched around him. I felt my whole body shudder as I moaned his name loudly.

He wasn't far behind me. He collapsed on top of me and we rolled so that we were on our sides. He threw my comforter around us as we fell asleep.

I was awoken a few hours later by my dad. I snapped my eyes open and sat up. I looked around to find him gone. That night was the worst I have ever had. The next day at school passed by in a blur. I was faintly aware that Alice was trying to get my attention at lunch.

"Hello Bella? You there?"

She waved her hand in front of my face. I smiled at her.

"Sorry, what is it Alice?"

"Not to be mean Bella, but you look like shit."

I laughed, "I feel like shit."

"Why?"

I rested my head on the table, "Why don't you ask you brother Alice?"

After school I walked by him in the hallway. I stared at my feet and hurried as quickly as I could to get away from him. To be honest, I don't think he really noticed me.

That night I cried over him again. I was so tired of losing sleep over Edward Cullen. I took some NyQuil so I could finally get a decent night's sleep.

The weekend wasn't much better. Alice called several times but I never answered. The last month of school was bearable only because I isolated myself off from everyone. Graduation day passed quickly and before I knew it was sitting in my dad's police cruiser. He refused to let me leave before I said good-bye to all of them.

"Bella, let's go. Esme has prepared you a very nice supper before you leave tomorrow."

I climbed out of the cruiser and held my dad's arm as we stepped into the house.

"Bella I'm so glad you are here!" Esme said wrapping her arms around me.

"I'm going to miss you too Esme."

The night went by quickly. Edward stayed quiet the entire time never once meeting my eyes. Alice noticed our lack of conversation but never pushed me or him.

I hugged everyone good-bye, except him. I barely was able to wave at him as I walked out the door for the last time. I had no intention of coming back here. If he wouldn't talk to me then I wouldn't go out of my way. I was done with Edward Cullen and his family.

The first part I was absolutely sure about. The second broke my heart.


	13. Chapter 12

**Chapter 12 – Letting Her Go**** – EPOV**

"_I'm so happy for you Edward!"_

_I smiled and put my arm around her, "I wouldn't be who I am without you Bella. You are the world's bestest friend."_

_It was two weeks before the first day of high school and Bella was beyond excited to find out that I had made the Lacrosse team. She was my best friend – had been since the first day of Kindergarten. We did everything together and this was the first thing that I had chosen to do without her._

_She was so happy for me that it made my heart soar._

"_You promise you'll come to every game?"_

"_I'll be there, in the front row, with tomatoes," she said giggling._

_And she was. She came to every single game – rain or shine for four straight years. I used to hug her after every game too – that was until I started dating Jessica. I dumped Bella for a girlfriend and who was there when Jessica dumped me? Bella._

"_I thought you would appreciate some comfort food?" She said holding up a gallon of ice cream and two spoons. We spent the whole night catching up and we also ate the entire gallon of ice cream – resulting in stomachaches that lasted the whole weekend._

_When I started dating Lauren I let Bella drift further and further away from me._

"_Why don't we hang out anymore Bella?"_

"_You don't want to be seen with me Edward. I'm not part of your social circle. You are the one avoiding me remember?"_

_And she was right. I didn't want to be seen with her at school – she was considered uncool and it was not good for my reputation to be hanging out with her. I answered her calls but I was typically with Lauren and I would make up some lame excuse for why she would be calling me._

_Lauren loathed Bella and threatened me that if I didn't stop talking to her that we would be through. If I wasn't in drugs up to my knees I would have dumped her but I needed my fix and Lauren was my supplier. The worse part about all of is was that I loved her. I loved her with every fiber of my being. That whole friends with benefits jag in the fall was the best two months of my life – but naturally I fucked that all up._

_That month before school ended I had been sober for a week and I realized my true feelings for Bella. I had to tell her how I felt so I did. I showed her how much I loved her. Then Lauren called with a new fix and I caved – per usual, once again leaving Bella. That was the last time I spoke with her._

I snapped my head up from the memories that flowed through my head. Bella was sitting in front of me right now, and all I could think of was that one afternoon we shared. I wanted to spend my life with her but I couldn't refuse Lauren. I ignored my full ride Lacrosse scholarship to Dartmouth and decided to go to freaking University of Washington because that was where Lauren would be.

That night I watched Bella walk out of my life. I did nothing to stop it – I simply waved at her as she left. I had no idea that it would be three years before I saw her again.

"Edward, what the hell?"

I simply stared at Alice while she screamed at me.

"Not now Alice. I need to call Lauren, she is expecting me."

"How could you do this to her? She loves you and you just let her walk out of our life?"

"I said not now Alice!"

She took a step back, "Who are you Edward? What happened to my brother?"

She ran from my room crying as I dialed Lauren. We would be meeting in an hour. I had no idea what was in store for me that night.

"Hey Baby. I've got something really good for you."

I took several hits of crystal meth before I completely blacked out. I woke up in the hospital one month later.

My eyes opened to the beeping sounds and bright fluorescent lighting above me.

"Edward?"

I turned my head and found my mother sitting next to me.

"Mom?"

"Oh thank god Edward. We all thought you would never wake up."

"Where's Bella. I need to see Bella."

My mom's face fell, "She's not here sweetie. We tried to get a hold of her, so did Charlie…"

"The final nail in the coffin…" I mumbled.

The next eight months I spent in rehab, and physical therapy. Turns out Lauren decided to drive after taking more hits than me and she wrapped us around a tree. She died instantly but since I was unconscious before the accident I flew through the windshield and broke about every single bone in my body. The month I spent in a coma the doctor's honestly didn't think I would make it, but I did.

My parents put me into rehab and then I started physical therapy. I had to relearn everything all over again. It took a year before I could walk on my own. The new school year at U.W. was just starting and I enrolled. I took lots of gen. eds. and decided that I would transfer to Dartmouth the next year.

"Edward are you sure you want to do this?"

I nodded, "I have to Alice. I need to get her back and this is the only way."

That year was excruciating but I got through it. That summer I decided to take Lacrosse back up, hopefully walking on wouldn't be a problem. Tryouts were coming up and I was determined to get my life back together.

It was only that next week that I was hanging out with some guys from the Lacrosse team when we all decided to go to the bar. It was great little place with live talent – I was just excited to be out with some people who only knew me as Edward Cullen – amazing walk-on Lacrosse player from Washington.

"So Edward, leave any loved ones back home?"

"Not really Kyle. I mean my twin sister already attends The Fashion Institute in New York – she's been there for a year now. My older brother already graduated from University of Washington and recently got married to his high school sweetheart. They are expecting twins in a few months."

"You mean a good looking guy like you didn't leave behind a beautiful bombshell?"

I glanced at Michael and flinched. I just shook my head, "There was someone three years ago but I screwed it up."

"Three years ago? What have you been living under a rock?"

I nodded, "Sort of. I was in a terrible car accident the weekend of my high school graduation. They didn't expect me to live actually, let alone walk again."

Kyle and Michael nearly spit out their beers, "Are you serious?"

I nodded, "I spent two years learning the basics all over again. I just recently finished up taking a year at U.W. I transferred here because this was originally where I wanted to go."

Michael slapped me on the back, "Well it's good you are alive then bro. Let's drink to that!"

We all downed our glasses quickly and ordered another round. It was getting close to midnight when Kyle caught my attention.

"You have to listen to this next girl. She is amazing! Sings here every Friday and Saturday night."

I turned my attention to the stage and watched a gorgeous brunette take the stage. I couldn't really see her face due to the dim lighting but she looked stunning otherwise. She swept her long brown hair over her shoulders and I immediately thought of Bella.

"I hope you guys don't mind if I try something new tonight. I've been working on this song for three years and I think I am finally ready for you all to hear it."

(Song and Lyrics by Taylor Swift -_ Invisible_)

She can't see the way your eyes

Light up when you smile

She'll never notice how you stop and stare whenever she walks by

And you can't see me wanting you the way you want her

But you are everything to me

And I just wanna show you she don't even know you

She's never gonna love you like I want to

And you just see right through me

But if you only knew me

We could be a beautiful miracle, unbelievable

Instead of just invisible

Yeah, mmm

There's a fire inside of you

That can't help but shine through

She's never gonna see the light

No matter what you do

And all I think about is how to make you think of me

And everything that we could be

And I just wanna show you she don't even know you

She's never gonna love you like I want to

And you just see right through me

But if you only knew me

We could be a beautiful miracle, unbelievable

Instead of just invisible

Like shadows in a faded light

Oh, were invisible

I just wanna look in your eyes

And make you realize

I just wanna show you she don't even know you

Baby let me love you, let me want you

You just see right through me

But if you only knew me

We could be a beautiful miracle, unbelievable

Instead of just invisible

She can't see the way your eyes

Light up when you smile...

She ended the song and I could tell that everyone in the room was staring at her. I wasn't sure how someone could put so much emotion into a song before. I felt like I knew her pain and I wanted to be the one to get rid of it.

I swear I caught her looking straight right before she rushed off stage. I looked around at Kyle and he was frowning.

"That's odd. She normally does another song."

I just shrugged, "Maybe doing a new song was more than she could handle?"

He nodded, "That was pretty deep wasn't it?"

I nodded, "It sounds like she's been through a lot. Do you know who she is?"

He shook his head, "She goes by Bella but she is pretty hard to get a hold of."

My mouth dropped, "Bella?"

He looked at me and smiled, "I know beautiful name isn't it. But don't waste your time. Numerous guys have tried and every single one of them is shot down by her body guard Angela."

I stood abruptly, "I need to go Kyle. Sorry I'll see you later."

I made my way backstage but froze in my spot when I saw her crumbled on the floor. Another girl was directly beside her.

"Bella, you need to go back out there!"

She just shook, "I can't Ang. He's here…"

She shook her head, "You've said this before Bella. He's in Washington remember?"

"No! I saw him. I looked right at him Angela. He's out there at a table full of Lacrosse players."

"Fine, I'll go look."

When Angela left I made my move.

"Bella?"

He head snapped up and she scrambled to her feet, "Stay away from me Edward."

"Can we just talk?"

"No. I don't want to talk to you. Please leave."

"Bella I didn't know you were here, otherwise I wouldn't have come. I don't want to cause you any pain."

She started laughing hysterically before she began to sob.

"Real funny Edward. Cause me any pain... You've caused me nothing but heartache and nightmares since you left me that night."

I dropped my head, "I can explain if you'll let me."

She took another step back, "No. You don't get to explain anything to me. I'm done with you breaking my heart."

And with that she walked away. She didn't get very far because Angela was there to stop her. She didn't see me.

"He's not out there."

Bella just pointed her thumb in my direction, "That's because he's right there."

Angela dropped her arms from Bella's shoulders and marched up to me. She slapped me across the face.

"How fucking dare you! Don't you realize what you are doing to her?"

I shook my head, "I need to explain to her what happened."

"No you don't get to explain anything to her. You don't get to be the one who is sorry. I have done nothing but try and help her for three years to get over you and here you show up on the one night she puts it all on the line – you disgust me."

Who in the hell did Angela think she was? She didn't know me and here she was judging me.

I walked around her and stood directly in front of Bella.

"Bella, I'm so sorry for how I acted. I was a mess. Lauren was a bad influence and she nearly killed me. I've spent the last two years of my life in drug rehab and physical therapy so I could be here with you. I don't want anyone but you Bella. You're it for me – you always have been and you always will be."

She gazed up at me, "Killed you?" She grabbed her chest and started breathing heavily. She was on the verge of a panic attack.

I gripped her shoulders and pulled her towards me, "Breathe Bella. You need to breathe."

"Drug rehab? Physical therapy? Is that what my dad was always trying to tell me about you?" She seemed to be talking to herself.

She continued to breathe out of control – I was going to lose her any minute if she didn't calm down.

"Bella you need to calm down!" It was Angela who yelled at her this time.

She pulled Bella from my embrace and into her lap on the ground. She rubbed her back and put Bella's head on her chest, "Hear my breathing, breathe like me Bella. Relax – big deep breaths."

I sat down across from her and rubbed Bella's back as well.

"I never wanted to hear it. You had to go through all that alone. I'm so selfish."

Her sobs got louder and she began to shake violently.

"Angela what do we do?"

"Give her a few more seconds."

"Why?"

"Because she'll pass out and we will be able to take her to the hospital then."

My eyes widened and I let my head fall into my lap, "I'm so sorry Angela."

"No I'm sorry Edward. I had no idea – I guess Bella didn't either."

"No one knew. I was a wreck. The accident nearly killed me but it also saved my life."

Bella's breathing got harder and she sobbed louder then she went limp. I scooped her up into my arms and carried her to Angela's car.

When we got to the hospital I refused to leave her side. I stayed there until her beautiful brown eyes opened.

"Edward? You stayed?"


	14. Chapter 13

**Chapter 13 – The Last Three Years**** – BPOV**

As soon as I stepped off the plane my dad called, "Bella, I think you need to come home."

"Are you missing me already dad?"

"Sweetie this is serious. Edward…"

I cut him off, "Don't you dare say his name dad. I don't care!" And I hung up.

He called me every night for a week before I answered.

"Please Bella. You need to listen to me."

"No dad! I don't want to hear it. If you say his name of any of theirs for that matter, then I will just hang up again."

I heard him sigh, "Okay."

The next few months were even harder. I found out I was pregnant and I wanted to die right then. Of course God was punishing me for that one stupid afternoon. I had a beautiful baby girl in February and took the entire second semester off to raise my little Emily Allera. I had to decline my running scholarship as soon as I found out – it was something that I regretted doing.

Emily quickly became my entire life and that was how I met Angela. Her mother watched Emily for me while I took summer classes and picked up a job at the local bar. We quickly became friends and she was my backbone at all times.

She was the one who encouraged me to pick up the guitar again.

"What would it hurt Bella?"

"He taught me how to play Angela. It just hurts."

"Then write about it."

"What?"

"Bella, you are a freaking English major – write about it!"

She tossed me a pad of paper and a pen and walked out of my apartment. I turned around to see Emily crawling towards me. I picked her up and put her in her playpen as I sat on the couch and started writing my soul.

Angela helped me turn my writings into music and soon enough I was playing every Friday and Saturday night at the college bar. Being on stage was the one thing that kept me sane. I never sang my own songs at first. It took my about two years before that happened.

Six months before my world came crashing down on me I sang my first original song and everyone was completely silent when I finished.

Afterwards the manager told me that no one had ever played with such emotion before. I was ecstatic and started becoming more confident as a player. The next few months I started getting groupies and fans. It was weird having people know the lyrics to some of the songs I played but I liked it.

School had ended again and now it was the off-season. The only students would be the locals as well as some of the athletes. I knew the Lacrosse team would be in because they were here all summer last year. I winced slightly when I envisioned Edward with them – he should have been.

It was a regular Friday night when Angela talked me into playing my new song.

"Come on Bella, you have been working on it for three years."

"I know, but I just don't know how the crowd will take it. It is really personal this time."

"All your songs are personal Bella. Please?"

I shrugged, "I'll think about it."

That night I was about to go on stage when Angela came to talk to me back stage.

"Well?"

I nodded, "It's on like Donkey Kong."

She giggled and pushed me onto the stage. I couldn't really see very many people due to the dim lighting. I introduced my new song and began playing. I really got carried away with the emotion in my voice. Every note, every word was so personal that it burned my soul.

As I finished the last phrase I looked up at a group of students, who I could only assume were Lacrosse players, and wanted to run off the stage immediately. I finished and exited as quickly as I could. Angela was there waiting for me.

"What is it?"

I crumbled to the floor and the next thing I remember is seeing him. He was walking towards me telling me that he needed to explain about what happened.

I refused and turned to walk away, only to walk straight into Angela. When she slapped him across the face I sighed internally. He really deserved that. But then he was standing directly in front of me telling me about the drugs and car accident.

I don't think my brain could process it all because the next thing I remember is waking up in a hospital.

"Of course I am still here Bella. I will never leave you again."

"Were you really in rehab?"

He nodded, "For eight months. I was in the hospital in a coma for a month – that basically detoxed me right there but I didn't trust myself."

"Why Edward? Why would you get yourself into all that?"

"Because I was an idiot Bella. In high school you had to realize the pressure I was under to be perfect. If I could do it all over again I would have never ditched you Bella. I would have been a Lacrosse player, but not a popular one. I let my friends define me instead of the person I loved."

I just stared at him.

He grabbed my hands into his, "I told you once that I loved you and I meant it Bella. I had to give you up. Lauren found out about us and she threatened to end your running career. I couldn't let that happen to you so I lied."

Angela walked in then. She smiled and sat down on the bed next to me.

"You scared all of us Bella. I thought you were over your attacks?"

"I thought was too Ang. I guess it was just all too much to take."

She nodded, "Everything is fine. My mom knows."

I just nodded and turned back to Edward.

"We have a lot to talk about Edward."

He smiled at me, "I'm here Bella."

Angela got up to leave, "Hey why don't you wait about an hour okay?"

She nodded and left then. Edward continued to smile at me – no clue as to what I was walking about.

"Why don't you tell me everything Edward. From the beginning."

He nodded, "Well it all started right after Jessica dumped me. That summer was completely amazing Bella. I was going to ask you out before school started but then Lauren just kissed me at practice and you wouldn't return my calls. She offered me my first hit soon after we started dating. It was a rush and I wanted more. I had never felt so free – other than when I was you. At first I did it so that I could feel free all the time but then I was just fooling myself – I was addicted."

"I started off by saying stupid things when I was high and it just spiraled out of control. I never felt so bad in all my life that day Lauren made me say those things to you. I didn't want to be exposed. She had me under her control since she was my supplier. That friends with benefits crap – it was the only time in my life that I felt complete Bella. When Lauren found out I had to keep you safe so I lied over and over. I spiraled so quickly back into the hole after the Lacrosse State Championship. Those months where we didn't talk was excruciating. I was sober for a week before I came to talk to you after school. I never meant for what happened to happen Bella."

"I mean I loved being so close to you. It was everything I had dreamed about for years but then she called. I went to her again – leaving you. That night of graduation she had a new drug for me. That night we shot up in the car and I passed out. Lauren took more hits than me and decided to go for a drive. She wrapped herself around tree. I apparently flew through the windshield but since I was already unconscious, it helped. I broke nearly every major bone in my body. I was in a coma for a month and when I woke up all I wanted to do was talk to you."

"I refused Edward. I'm so sorry. My dad tried to tell me more than once but as soon as he said your name I hung up on him."

"You had every right to do that Bella. I had hurt you so badly. I never expected you to come – I just wanted to see you. I was sent to rehab for eight months and finally got my self-confidence back. I then went through intense physical therapy for the next year and a half. I just finished up taking all my required gen. eds at U.W."

I grabbed his hand and placed it against my face, "You did all that just to get to Dartmouth didn't you?"

He only nodded.

"This is my future Bella. It always has been."

I glanced at the clock. Angela would be here any minute.

"Edward something happened to me, well us, that you need to know about. You didn't just leave me behind that night when you left."

"What do you mean Bella?"

Angela poked her head in then, "Bella I have a very excited someone to see you out here. May I send her in?"

I just nodded as Angela held the door open for my little angel. She ran straight into the room and jumped up onto the hospital bed next to me. I pulled her into my lap and kissed her over and over.

"Mommy! You scared me."

I laughed at my two and a half year olds statement and turned to glance at Edward. I think the term shocked was a bit of an understatement in this situation.

"I'm sorry sweetie. I didn't mean to scare you."

She looked up at me with her piercing green eyes, "I love you mommy."

I hugged her to my body, "I love you too peanut."

She settled into my lap and I turned so that I was facing Edward more. He continued to stare at me.

"Edward I would like for you to meet Emily Allera – the love of my life, the keeper of my heart, my little angel."

She smiled at Edward and he smiled back, "It's nice to meet you Emily. How old are you?"

"I'll be three in February!"

He continued to smile at her. How could he not love his own daughter? She was the spitting image of him. She had his copper-colored hair and vivid-green eyes. She was also extremely advanced and acted more like a five-year-old. Her smile was also his. It made me go weak at the knees when she gave me his crooked smile.

Edward took a deep breath, "Why didn't you tell me Bella?"

I shrugged, "I didn't want anything to do with you remember?"

"But Esme, Carlisle, Alice, Jasper, Emmett and Rose too?"

"I had to give everyone up when I left Edward. I couldn't be with anyone that reminded me of you."

He nodded, "I understand that Bella – I do more than you know. But we all had the right to know."

"I know you did and I'm sorry for that. You don't know how hard it has been for me."

He reached out and cupped my face into his hands, "I'm not leaving you again Bella. I love you."

I moved Emily to the side of the bed closest to Edward. Edward pulled back and looked at me intently.

"Emily I would like for you to meet someone very important."

She looked up at me with her deep green eyes and smiled.

"Emily this is your father."

She reached out for him immediately, "Daddy!"

My heart melted right then and there. If my daughter could completely open her heart towards a man she never had the chance of knowing then so would I.

"Come here my little Emily," he said as he scooped her into his arms. "I'm sorry I wasn't around peanut, but I'm not going anywhere ever again."

She turned to me, "Can I say I love him mommy? Cause I do."

I ran my fingers through her hair, "What does your heart tell you to do?"

She hugged her father fiercely and let out a sob, "I love you Daddy."

Tears poured down his cheeks as he hugged his daughter for the first time, "I love you too Emily."

A few hours I was released from the hospital. Edward drove us home and walked us to our door.

"Mommy, can daddy stay please?"

I could never refuse my little angel.

"Of course peanut. That is if daddy doesn't have any other plans."

He shook his head, "What could I possible have planned on a Saturday morning Bella?"

I opened the door and let him walk inside. I set my angel down and she bounded into her room. He turned and smiled at me.

"This feels so right Bella."

I wrapped my arms around him, "I agree."

He leaned in and pressed his lips to mine softly, "I love you so much."

I kissed him back, "I love you too. I have since Kindergarten I think."

He chuckled and pulled me back into another kiss. A few moments later we were pulled apart by our daughter, who had grabbed our hands and pulled us towards her playroom. We spent all morning in there playing with her. Finally right after lunch she zonked out in Edward's arms. He carried her to her bedroom and put her down for her nap before shutting her door and coming back to the kitchen with me.

"She's so wonderful Bella and so smart."

"I think she gets it from your side. I swear some days she acts five."

"Bella what happened with your running?"

"I couldn't run when I found out I was pregnant – I mean not long distances at least. I still run from time to time but I hate taking time away from her."

"You gave up running because of me, because of what I did."

"Edward you gave me something so special. Yes I had to make some sacrifices but I wouldn't have it any other way."

"So tell me something Bella. When did you start writing and performing your own songs?"

I felt myself blush, "I started singing them six months ago but I have been writing for three years now."

"You know that one at the club last night was amazing. Why haven't you been picked up by someone yet?"

I shook my head, "I have been discovered Edward but I keep telling them no. I have to keep a steady life for Emily."

He nodded, "Would you play for me?"

I blushed, "Well I do have one that I was going to play tonight. I guess I could practice it for you."

He smiled and took a seat on the couch. I grabbed my guitar and tuned it quickly.

"Okay so don't laugh but it is about you."

(Song and Lyrics by Taylor Swift – _Teardrops on My Guitar_)

Drew looks at me

I fake a smile so he won't see

What I want and I need

And everything that we should be

I'll bet she's beautiful

That girl he talks about

And she's got everything

That I have to live without

Drew talks to me

I laugh 'cause it's just so funny

I can't even see

Anyone when he's with me

He says he's so in love

He's finally got it right

I wonder if he knows

He's all I think about at night

He's the reason for the teardrops on my guitar

The only thing that keeps me wishing on a wishing star

He's the song in the car I keep singing

Don't know why I do

Drew walks by me

Can he tell that I can't breathe?

And there he goes, so perfectly

The kind of flawless I wish I could be

She better hold him tight

Give him all her love

Look in those beautiful eyes

And know she's lucky 'cause

He's the reason for the teardrops on my guitar

The only thing that keeps me wishing on a wishing star

He's the song in the car I keep singing

Don't know why I do

So I drive home alone

As I turn out the light

I'll put his picture down

And maybe get some sleep tonight

'Cuz he's the reason for the teardrops on my guitar

The only one who's got enough of me to break my heart

He's the song in the car I keep singing

Don't know why I do

He's the time taken up but there's never enough

And he's all that I need to fall into

Drew looks at me

I fake a smile so he won't see


	15. Chapter 14

**Chapter 14 – Forgiving**** – BPOV**

When I finished Edward pulled me into his lap.

"I love you Isabella Swan," he murmured as he pressed his lips to mine. He rolled onto his back, taking me with him. I could feel the growing erection against my stomach.

"I need you Edward. It's been far too long."

He picked me up and carried me to the bedroom. Our clothes were thrown off in our mad attempt to get close to one another. I felt his lips press against every inch of my skin.

"You are so beautiful Isabella."

His legs pushed mine apart as he slid into me. We both moaned as he slowly pushed in and out.

I wrapped my legs around his waist allowing him to go deeper. He picked up his pace and began frantically slamming into me.

"Don't stop Edward."

"Never," he groaned.

"Don't leave me Edward."

"Never," he groaned again.

With that he spilled into me as my own orgasm took over my body. He collapsed on top of me and I welcomed his weight fully as I wrapped my arms around his body.

His head was on my chest as I ran my fingers through his hair, "It doesn't get much better than this."

He only nodded and sighed deeply. We stayed like that for quite awhile. It was getting close to the end of Emily's nap before we finally untangled ourselves and got dressed.

"Will you stay for supper?"

He smiled, "I would love to."

Just as we opened my bedroom door Emily came bounding out into the living room.

"Mommy, is daddy staying for supper?"

He scooped her up into his arms, "What would you like me to make you for supper peanut?"

She giggled, "Nuggets!"

I shook my head, "You have had those for the past two nights Emily Allera."

She frowned at me, "Awe come on mommy!"

I shook my head again, "Absolutely not."

Edward chuckled at us, "Well I have an idea but I think I will need a special helper in the kitchen. Now who could possibly help me make macaroni and cheese?"

I giggled as Emily squealed, "Oh can I daddy? Please!"

He placed her onto his shoulders and strolled into the kitchen gathering everything he needed to make supper. He let Emily pour in the noodles and mix some of the cheeses together with the milk. They made a huge mess but I had never seen my daughter so happy.

Just before supper there was a knock on the door. I opened to door to find Angela standing on the other side.

"Hey Bella, just making sure things are okay."

I nodded, "Great. They are in the kitchen making a huge mess right now."

She laughed, "Okay well I am home from work now if you need me to watch Em or anything."

"Thanks Ang for everything."

I shut the door and turned around to a bowl of macaroni and cheese being handed to me.

"Why thank you Emily."

"You're welcome mommy."

We all sat at the kitchen table and enjoyed our supper. Before long Emily was playing in the living room and Edward and I were cleaning up the kitchen.

"Sorry for making such a mess, Love."

I kissed him quickly, "You made her so happy Edward. I could care less about the mess."

When we finished loading the dishwasher Emily came running into the kitchen and pulled on my hand.

"What is it baby?"

"Mommy, can daddy stay here with us?"

I blushed, "Sweetie that is something that your father and I have yet to discuss."

She frowned, "Well then ask him if he will!"

I heard Edward chuckle behind me. I grabbed Emily under her arms and threw her onto my hip.

"Emily would you like it if daddy lived here with us?"

She nodded furiously, "I love him."

I felt my heart break right then. God she was the perfect child. I kissed her forehead, "I love him too."

I set her down and she ran back to the living room. I felt Edward's arms wrap around me from behind.

"I love you both too, you know."

I sighed and turned around to face him. I rested my head on his chest, "Edward I know this is all sudden but I feel like this is right – it's not like we are complete strangers. I would like it if…"

I trailed off.

Edward cupped my face into his hands and lifted it so that our eyes met, "Bella are you trying to ask me to move in with you?"

I nodded and blushed. He pressed his lips to mine. That was a good enough answer for me. We walked back out into the living room and sat on the couch. It wasn't long before Emily was sleeping peacefully in her father's lap.

"How can you love someone so much you just met?"

I smiled at him and rested my head against his shoulder.

We eventually put her to bed and the best part was that it was only a little after seven. When we sat back down on the couch he pulled me into his lap.

"You know we have to call my parents."

I nodded, "Alice and Rose too right?"

"Do you think we could make a week trip out there, maybe leave on Sunday and fly back Saturday?"

I kissed his chin, "My dad would love to know that I am coming home for the first time in three years. He would love to see Emily again too."

He kissed my forehead and handed me his phone. I dialed and waited.

"Hello Edward! How were tryouts?"

I blushed, "Hi Esme. It's Bella."

She started screaming, "Oh my gosh! Bella! How are you my dear?"

"I'm fine. Look Edward and I were wondering if we could come and see you guys for a week?"

"We would all love that Bella! Everyone will be home too!"

I smiled, "Good. Look I hate to cut this short but I have two more people that I need to call first. Is it okay if Edward calls you back on my cell?"

"That would be fine dear."

"Okay Esme. Bye."

"Oh and Bella – I am so glad you two found each other again."

And with that she hung up.

He smiled at me, "She really loves you."

"I just feel so horrible about keeping Emily from all of you for so long."

He kissed my forehead and stroked my cheek, "You had your reasons, Love."

I nodded and found Alice's number next.

"Do you think her and Rose will be together so that I can get this over in one phone call?"

He nodded, "Rose flew to New York to help Alice pack so she could come home for the summer."

I hit send and felt the butterflies in my stomach.

"Hey there big brother, how are you doing?"

"Hi Alice…"

"Bella?"

"Yeah. It's me Alice."

"Why are you on Edward's phone?"

"I needed to talk to you and I didn't have your phone number."

"You didn't answer my question Bella."

"Well Edward is currently sitting in my living room watching me talk on the phone with you."

She squealed loudly and Edward chuckled. I just glared at him.

"Alice do you think it would be possible for you to put me on speaker phone so that I can talk to both you and Rose?"

"Okay… Bella you are on speaker phone."

"Hey Rose."

Silence.

"Okay look you both deserve an explanation as to why you haven't heard from me in three years."

"Damn straight Bella!" Rose yelled.

"Rose, please," Alice begged.

"I'm so sorry but I can't explain over the phone. Edward and I plan on flying to Forks next week so we can see all of you and talk."

Alice squealed again, "Oh my gosh Bella! I am so excited to see you again."

I giggled, "Me to Al. Look we need to pack and book our flights and things but I promise you that I will explain everything this week, okay?"

"Whatever Bella." I heard a door shut.

"Sorry Bella. Rose is just really hurt. We all were but it will take some convincing to get her to not hate you anymore."

"I understand Alice. I hurt all of you so badly but I promise we will talk about it this week."

"I love you Bella. Tell my brother hello for me please."

"Will do Al. Love you. Bye."

***** EPOV *****

The flight to Forks was fairly uneventful. Emily sat in between Bella and me. She was so adorable as she slept. I found myself staring at her almost the whole time.

I had rented a car so we could drive from Seattle to Forks… I didn't want to ruin our surprise.

We pulled into the driveway in the early afternoon of Sunday. Bella went up to the house while I fiddled around in the trunk. Next thing I knew Bella was screaming as Emmett whipped her around in circles. I had to laugh though – he really missed her, we all had.

"Okay, okay Emmett!" she said. "Please put me down so I can help Edward with our bags."

"Let me help little sister."

"No, that's okay. We'll meet everyone in the living room."

"I'm on it," and he disappeared back into the house.

Bella ran back out to the car and lifted Emily from her car seat.

"Okay now peanut we are going to meet some new people today."

She just nodded and clung to Bella's neck. I followed them in with all our bags and set them in the hallway. I wrapped an arm around Bella's waist as we walked into the living room.

The whole room gasped when we walked in. Esme had tears in her eyes.

"Hi everyone. I would like for you all to meet someone very special to me." She kissed our daughter's head, "This is my angel Emily Allera."

I watched as Emily's grip around Bella get tighter. I leaned over and whispered into her ear, "You know peanut I think everyone would like to see your pretty face."

She looked up and me with her piercing green eyes. She made my heart grow every time she gave me this look.

"But daddy, I don't know them."

I heard Esme gasp again.

I picked her up from Bella's arms and rested my forehead against hers.

"You know Grandpa right?"

She nodded.

"Well you see that is mommy's daddy. This is my mommy and daddy. So they are your other grandpa and grandma."

"I have a grandma!" Emily squealed.

She started looking around the room and I pointed to Esme, "She's sitting right there."

Emily dropped from my arms and ran towards Esme at full speed. I wasn't at all surprised when she launched herself into Esme's embrace.

"I've never had a grandma before!"

Esme looked at me and smiled as I just chuckled.

"Well I've never had a granddaughter before!"

Emily just smiled and continued to hug Esme. Bella and I took our seats in the open chairs. Everyone was staring at Emily and Esme.

"How old is she Bella?" Alice asked.

"She'll be three in February."

Carlisle spoke up next, "Why didn't you tell us?"

Bella got really uneasy and looked to me then down.

"I'd really prefer to discuss this when someone is otherwise occupied."

Emily looked at Bella, "Mommy?"

"Yes peanut?"

"Is this where Grandpa lives too?"

Bella nodded, "He sure does baby – not far from here either. We are going to go see him tomorrow."

"We could call him now Bella, so that way we could all talk?" I suggested.

Bella nodded again, "That sounds good. I'm sure he would love that."

I held out my cell phone and Bella made the call. Within fifteen minutes Charlie was on the front door step. Bella handed Emily off to him.

"You sure about this kiddo?"

Bella smiled, "They need to know dad. Why don't you drop her off around supper time?"

"Actually Charlie, if you wouldn't mind. I would love it if you would join us for supper tonight?" Esme asked.

Charlie blushed, "I would love that Esme. I will see everyone then. You ready there, kiddo?"

Emily squealed as Charlie threw her onto his shoulders and jogged to the car. He really did love his granddaughter very much.

We all took our seats in the living room again. Bella sat next to me on the love seat this time. She was fidgeting with her hands – I knew she was nervous. I pulled her into my lap and rested my head on her shoulder. She immediately sighed and relaxed her position.

"Okay so by now you all know the timeline. Edward and I had sex about a month before we graduated. I didn't know about Emily until after I had left for Dartmouth and by then it was too late."

"Too late?" Jasper asked.

"You have to realize that when Edward and I did that – he promised to love me forever. When I woke up he was gone. When my dad and I had supper at your house on graduation night I refused to look at him. I was done loving Edward Cullen. I wanted nothing to do with him and I assumed he felt the same way so that was when I decided to cut you all off."

"Why would you do that to all of us Bella?" Rose asked.

"Because I knew that if I didn't then I would be forced to see him again and I didn't want that. I was so hurt. I loved Edward for four years and when he did reciprocate those feelings – all I was to him was a friend with benefits. I didn't want to be that girl anymore."

She took a deep breath, "Dartmouth was going to be a brand new start for me. When I found out I was pregnant I knew I had to keep her. Naming her Emily Allera was bittersweet. I took as many letters and things I could from you all – I guess I still wanted you in my life in some way. I tried to call about fifty times right after she was born but I just couldn't."

"Why didn't you come and see Edward in the hospital Bella?" Carlisle asked.

"I didn't know until yesterday about all that. My dad tried to tell me several times but every time he would mention Edward's name I would hang up on him so after while he stopped trying. I was so stubborn. I had no idea about he drugs or the car accident. Edward told me everything just the other day while I was in the hospital."

"Are you all right Bella?" Esme sounded really concerned.

Bella shook her head, "I play at a bar. I sing and play my guitar every Friday and Saturday night. Edward came in with the Lacrosse team on Friday night. I saw him and had a panic attack backstage. Edward was there and I woke up in the hospital. That was when I learned about him and Lauren and that was where he learned about Emily."

The next few hours Bella went through many more details of what she had been doing with her life these past three years. Before we knew it, everyone had forgiven her – including Rose – and supper was being started in the kitchen.

"So when are you due Rose?"

"August 13th."

"Wow so like six more weeks huh?"

"If I make it that far."

"Do you know what you are going to have?"

She nodded, "But we are keeping it a secret."

"Wow – that is so mean!"

"Well Bella we thought we were having the first grandchildren so we wanted to surprise everyone."

"I'm so sorry I didn't tell you Rose."

"It's okay Bella. You had your reasons."

Bella nodded and rested her head on mine, "I love you."

I kissed her lips quickly, "I love you too."


	16. Chapter 15

**Chapter 15 – A Week in Forks**** – BPOV**

It was wonderful to see everyone again. I couldn't believe that Rose and Emmett had tied the knot and were only six weeks away from having their first child. Jasper and Alice were still going strong as well.

"Bella?"

"Hey Jasper."

"How are you doing?"

I shrugged, "I'm all right. I'm truly surprised with how Emily is taking this all. She continues to amaze me daily."

"You went through so much Bella. Why didn't you call me?"

"I couldn't Jazz. I knew that if I connected with anyone that he would be brought back into my life and I just wasn't ready. Hell I'm still not ready but Emily is helping me."

He shook his head, "It just wasn't like you to cut us all out."

"You have to realize how much pain I was in Jazz. Edward completely and totally destroyed me. He led me on then stomped on my heart over and over. I just let him lead me on. I should have broken up with him years ago."

"You were best friends Bella."

"I know but if I would have let him know about my feelings sooner then we wouldn't be in this mess right now. I wouldn't be doubting my decisions."

"You don't trust him?"

"It's not that. I was just hurt so much that it is hard to let him back in."

"Emily is the one leading the way on that trust?"

I nodded, "She loves him so much and he loves her. I can't deny her of him. She has been asking about her father for months and now that she has him I can't just take him away from her."

Jasper pulled me into his arms and I was immediately comforted.

"Everything will work out Bella. I know you two still love each other."

Jasper and I walked back into the living room where Emily was already asleep in Edward's arms. He was staring at her and I couldn't help but smile. He loved her so much and even though my heart still had holes – I loved him too.

I stood beside him and held out my arms, "Mind if I put her to bed tonight?"

He shook he head and stood, handing me Emily. She woke up briefly but only to climb into my arms.

I carried her upstairs and put her to bed. Edward kissed her forehead and then wrapped his arms around me. We walked to our own bedroom and he pulled me into his lap.

"What's on your mind Bella?"

"I'm just trying to get over this heartache that I still feel."

He kissed my temple, "Is there anything I can do to make it easier on you?"

I shrugged, "You just being here is helping."

"I really do love you Bella."

"I love you too Edward. I really am trying to trust you again."

His arms tightened around me and he pressed his lips to my forehead, "I will never leave you again. I need you too much."

I brought his fingers to my lips and kissed them. I turned around so that I could face him. He cupped my face into his hands and slowly brought his lips to mine. His tongue slid along my bottom lip and I opened my mouth, allowing our tongues to intertwine.

My hands traveled to his hair and I pulled him closer to me. I laid down on the bed and he hovered over me as we passionately kissed one another. He eventually pulled back and we both gasped for air.

He began kissing down my jaw line and neck until he got to my collarbones. His tongue slid along my skin as his hands worked his way up my shirt. He palmed my breasts through my bra and continued to kiss up and down my neck.

"You feel so exquisite, Love."

"Prove how much you love me Edward."

He leaned back and looked into my eyes, "I'm going to make sweet love to you all night long."

He brought his lips to mine and we pulled our shirts off one another. He kissed up and down my stomach, lingering on the area between my breasts. He slid his hands behind me and unclasped my bra. He kissed his way to my nipples before taking them into his mouth.

I moaned quietly and arched my back. He moved his hands to the waistband of my jeans. He unbuttoned them and pulled them off swiftly, along with my underwear. He slid his tongue along my skin and placed kisses on my inner thighs.

"Can I taste you my Bella?"

I could only let out a throaty moan as I nodded my head. His tongue licked along my wet folds and his fingers worked their way into me. I felt my hips thrust up to meet his probing fingers as his mouth sucked on my clit.

"Mmm… Edward. So… close."

He pumped in another finger and flicked my clit with his tongue as the orgasm raced through my body. I felt myself shudder against his fingers but he never withdrew them.

"That's it Love. Let me make you feel good."

His tongue replaced his fingers and he licked and slid his tongue in and out of me. His fingers moved to my nipples as he pinched and twisted them.

"Edward! I can't take much more. I need you."

With that he pulled off his jeans and boxers in one swipe and plunged deeply into me. We both let out moans against one another's lips.

"You've never felt better Bella. God you are so tight. I love the way you feel wrapped around my cock."

His words made my passion for him soar. I wrapped my legs around his waist and began lifting myself against his thrusts. The look on his face and his moans told me he wasn't going to last very long.

He flipped us over so that I was on top. I placed my hands on his chest as he held my hips. His mouth was sucking on my nipples as I bounced up and down on him.

"Oh Edward. The way you feel. Cum with me, please Edward."

My words sent him off his hinge. He grabbed my hips and jolted up as I would come down on him. We both exploded together, our moans crying out one another's names.

I collapsed onto his chest and he wrapped his arms around me. That night neither of us got much sleep. I think it was four times before we finally slept for more than a two-hour stretch of time.

When we awoke we were still naked wrapped in each other's arms. I kissed his lips quickly before slipping from his embrace. I made my way into the bathroom and turned on the shower. I was in the middle of washing my hair when I felt a strong pair of arms grip my waist.

"You decided to take a shower without waking me up?"

I giggled and turned to face him. He brought my body to his and began massaging my scalp. I let my head fall into his hands while he worked.

"Last night meant so much to me my Bella," he murmured pressing his lips to mine.

I nodded, "It was everything and so much more."

"Can I hold you in my arms every night, Love?"

I answered him with my lips.

He let out a throaty moan, "You are so irresistible."

I rinsed my hair, "We need to get dressed. I'm sure they are doing their best holding Emily off right now."

He chuckled, "I'm surprised she hasn't come to find us yet."

"Oh she probably has but I think Jasper and Alice are trying to keep her occupied."

He chuckled again and pressed his lips to mine, "Well then let's not keep our daughter waiting."

I about collapsed into his arms when he said that. I knew that no matter what, every time I heard him say those words my heart would melt. I finally had my Edward back and I had no intention of letting him go ever again.

***** EPOV *****

My heart was now complete. That hole that I had ever since I woke up out of my coma had been healed.

"Edward?"

"Yes Love?"

The water is getting cold.

I blushed and nodded, shutting off the water. We stepped out of the shower and I handed her a towel. After we got dressed, we headed down for breakfast. Emily was sitting on the counter making cookies with my mom as we walked in.

"Mommy! Daddy!" she screamed. I scooped her off the counter and put her on my shoulders before running around the kitchen, he screams and giggles bouncing off the walls.

Once I set her down she clapped and smiled so big that my heart completely melted. Bella wrapped her arms around my waist and pressed her lips to mine, "I love you."

We grabbed a quick bowl of cereal, Emily talking our ears off about everything that she had done that morning before we came down for breakfast.

"Gramma and I are making cookies!" she squealed.

"What kind you making there, peanut?"

"Your favorites daddy!"

I took our bowls and rinsed them before wrapping my arms around my daughter.

"You know how much I love gramma's chocolate chip cookies."

She giggled and ran her floured fingers through my hair. Bella started laughing as the flour fight then followed.

"You don't know how much she loves you Edward."

I nodded as I set my daughter down for her nap.

"Probably not as much as I love her."

"She talks about you nonstop."

"Because I am so interesting," I scoffed.

She just giggled and leaned down to kiss her forehead.

"I love having her around. I don't want you two to leave on Saturday."

"I know mom, but we do have school."

"Just promise you will come home on as many weekends as possible, as well as all major holidays."

"You know we will mom. Especially now that you know."

"How's Bella adjusting to all of this?"

We walked downstairs and into the kitchen. Alice and Rose had Bella out on a shopping trip and Emmett and Jasper were in the basement playing video games. Of course my dad was at work.

"I think she is slowly getting used to the idea of me being around all the time."

"Are you two okay, you know otherwise?"

"Emotionally I'm not sure. Physically we still connect just as much as we used to."

"Now you said that you will be moving into her apartment when you get back?"

"Yeah. It's better than the one I have."

"You know we own property in Vermont sweetie?"

"Since when?"

"Since you decided to make Bella you life when you woke up from the coma."

I smiled, "Let me guess – it is right on campus?"

She nodded, "Beautiful Victorian style, 4 bedroom, 3.5 baths, full basement – the works."

"Is that why dad is _working_? He already has our things currently being moved in there?"

She nodded again, blushing, "We just figured you would want to come back to a fully furnished place. We know some wonderful people out there and Emily wanted her room pink."

"Emily knows already?"

"I wanted to ask her what color she wanted her room and she said pink."

"How has she told Bella about this yet?"

"I think the beans will be spilled at supper – which is fine. I am excited to see Bella's face."

I was suddenly really excited for supper. I decided to spend the rest of Emily's nap with my brother and Jasper in the basement.

"Mom spill the beans about the house?"

I chuckled, "She just told me about it Emmett. We think the beans will be spilled to Bella by Emily at supper."

He chuckled and nodded, "I can't wait."

The next couple hours we spent playing some video games and catching up. Basically they wanted to know about my sex life – now that I had one again.

I had to admit that Bella felt wonderful wrapped around my cock. It made me hard just thinking about her sliding up and down on me…

"Edward?"

"Yes Jasper?"

"You doing okay over there?"

"Yeah, why?"

"Because you've been moaning Bella's name for the past five minutes."

I sat up, "Shit did I fall asleep?"

Emmett started laughing, "Not get enough sleep last night little brother?"

"Probably more than you will get when Rose delivers!"

He flushed deep red, "Shut it."

The girls came home just as I was getting Emily up from her nap.

"Is mommy home yet?"

"The car just pulled in sweetie."

She nodded as I picked her up and carried her downstairs. Bella came in the front door, loaded down in bags.

"I hate Alice and Rose!"

"Oh grow up Bella!" Rose yelled as she pushed her aside.

I strolled up to her and wrapped a free arm around her waist and kissed her temple.

"They buy out the whole store?"

She giggled and dropped all her things so she could hold Emily.

"How's my peanut doing? Did you have a nice nap?"

Emily only nodded as she rested her head on Bella's shoulder.

"I'll take your things upstairs, Love."

She mouthed a thank you while I grabbed her bags. I placed a kiss on her forehead before running upstairs. So far supper had gone off without a hitch. My mom had just brought out dessert when Emily let the ball drop.

"Mommy! Gramma is painting my new room pink!"

"Esme you don't have to paint a whole room for her here."

Esme just blushed, "I wasn't planning on it."

"No mommy, not here. At school!"

Bella's jaw dropped and she looked directly at my parents.

"You didn't."

"Didn't what?" my dad joked.

"Tell me Carlisle that you did not buy us a house in Vermont."

He only nodded.

"You have to realize Bella that Carlisle and I bought this house for Edward when he decided to return to Dartmouth."

She just shook her head, "It's too much."

"Our things are already moved Bella."

She glared at me, "You knew about this?"

"I found out his afternoon. Actually Emily was the first to know since mom asked her what color walls she wanted in her new room."

"I can't. I mean it's just too much. After everything I have done – you are just going to buy us a house?"

Carlisle nodded, "You're family Bella. You always have been."

Tears streamed down Bella's face and I wiped them away with the pads of my thumbs as I cupped her face in my hands.

"We all love you Bella."

She just nodded and rested her head against my chest. The rest of dessert was quiet. Bella's face never left my chest and I sat there and held her. Emily managed to gobble down three chocolate chip cookies though.

"Can we go upstairs Edward?"

"If you'll excuse us everyone," I mumbled as I cradled Bella to my chest. I sat down on the bed and she sat next to me.

"I can't wrap my head around all of this."

"Around what Love?"

"You show up and in three days my entire world changes. It's all happening so fast."

"It was supposed to be this way Bella. I was never meant to be with anyone else."

"But you were. For three years you were with someone else while I sat there waiting. When I left Forks, Edward you have to realize that I never wanted to see you again."

"And now?"

"I can't deny my feelings for you haven't changed, and a lot of that is because of Emily."

"Can you at least give us a chance Bella? We've never had a chance due to my idiotic behavior. I am willing to commit to you until you trust me."

"I know you are. I feel like I have to give you a chance because of Emily."

I cupped her face into my hands, "You don't owe me anything, Love."

She nodded, "Yes I do. You deserve a chance. But I swear if you break my heart again you will never see me or Emily ever again."

I pressed my lips to hers, "I'm never leaving you and I have no intention of ever breaking your heart again."


	17. Chapter 16

**Chapter 16 – Back to Vermont**** – BPOV**

The week in Forks went by quicker than I'd wished. We hugged everyone good-bye and promised that we would see them all Labor Day weekend… if not sooner. The flight back went quickly and soon we were pulling up in front of the house that Esme and Carlisle had bought for us.

"Wow…" I breathed as I stepped out of the cab.

I grabbed Emily from Edward's lap and hoisted her onto my hip. Her eyes lit up at the sight of our new home. Edward led the way as we opened the front door.

"Can I see my room daddy?" Emily squealed from my side.

He turned around and smiled at her, "That was my first stop on the tour."

We walked up the open staircase and down the hallway to the left. We passed a bedroom on the left and a bathroom on the right before coming to her room at the end of the hallway. Edward opened the door and I set her down.

She screamed and bolted straight to her frilly soft pink bed. She climbed up on it and plopped herself in the middle looking at everything she could.

She clapped her hands together, "I love it!"

Her room was soft pink and white. She had beautiful white furniture and a window seat as well. I couldn't have imagined a more perfect little girl's room. I teared up at the thought that this was now my little girl's room.

"What is it Bella?"

I shook my head, "I'm fine. Let's check out the rest of the house."

Emily stayed in her room while Edward and I scoped out the other bedroom and bathroom that we had previously passed, as well as the master bedroom and bathroom that was at the other end of the hallway.

The kitchen, dining room, family room and study were all on the main floor with a half bath, and the basement had the last full bathroom. Everything was styled perfectly and we were all moved in. I eventually plunked down on the couch and sighed loudly. Emily had her own tour and was tickled pink that the basement had half her toys in it.

I was also grateful that Esme and Carlisle had thought of everything – even intercoms – they were amazing. Edward was busy playing with Emily in the basement when my phone rang.

"Hello Bella?"

"Hey Ang!"

"I thought you were getting back today. I knocked on your apartment… are you home?"

"Um… actually I am home but I don't live at the apartment anymore?"

"What?"

"Look I don't want to explain over the phone… can you come over? I'll text you my new address. It's within walking distance our the complex – trust me."

"Sure… I'll be over soon."

I stood up and went down into the basement.

"Mommy!" I scooped my daughter up into my arms as she squealed and giggled. I sat down next to Edward with her in my lap.

"Angela just called. She was wondering if we were home."

He chuckled, "I'm surprised she didn't see the moving guys this week."

I shrugged, "I don't know. I invited her over. I wanted to talk to her anyway."

"That's fine. She can stay for supper tonight too if she wants. Because I am making macaroni and cheese!"

Emily launched into Edward's arms, "Really daddy? Can I help you?"

He just laughed and nodded and she sat in his lap. My phone buzzed again and I stood up.

"We'll be in the master bedroom, okay?"

"Sure thing Love."

I smiled and went to answer the door.

"You live here?"

I just giggled and pulled her into a hug. I led her up to the bedroom and shut the door. She stood there as I walked over to the bed and collapsed into the comforter.

"You live here?"

I sat up, "Edward's parents bought this house for him hoping he would win me back. They didn't know about Emily, but still…"

She came over and sat beside me, "Wow."

"I know."

"So you have forgiven him I take it."

"A small part of me has. I don't know what is holding me back."

"He hurt you Bella. This all has to be a shock for you."

I nodded, "But Emily is just so in love with him. I can't not be happy when I see them together."

"Well that is a start I guess."

"I know it is. Seeing his family really brought back the reason why I love him so much too. His sisters are like family to me. I missed them these past three years."

"How did Emily take to everyone?"

"She has them all wrapped around her little fingers, of course. She loves that she has a grandma too. Charlie is grandpa grandpa and Carlisle is just grandpa. It was hilarious when she went into a thorough explanation of why she calls them that."

Angela laughed, "I bet. Are you okay?"

"I've slept with him twice in the week and a half that we have been together. It felt amazing to be that close again but something was holding me back, Ang. I want to love him completely but I just can't."

"It is going to take some time Bella. Not unless you can pinpoint why you aren't letting him in."

I thought for a minute, "I guess I just feel like he is going to leave me again. There is a nagging voice in my head that says don't get close, but my heart wants to love him so much more than I am."

"You need to listen to your heart Bella. Tell me this. How do you feel when he smiles at you or kisses you?"

"I feel that same connection that we have always had. It is so strong – like we are meant for one another. The way his lips and body fit mine… it is beyond an explanation."

"How does it make you feel when Emily calls him daddy, or he kissed her good night, or tells her he loves her."

"It's beyond anything I could have imagined. My heart soars when I hear them saying I love you to one another."

"Listen to your heart Bella. If it has gotten you this far then you need to let it take you home."

I hugged her, "Thank you Angela. You are the world's bestest friend."

She chuckled, "Thanks. I'm glad you're back."

I nodded, "Me too."

She stood up and I showed her the house, top to bottom.

"This place is just amazing Bella."

"Thanks Ang. I have to hand it to Esme and Carlisle though – they decorated and had all our things moved by the time we got back today."

"Wow. That was really nice of them."

I nodded, "And the last stop on our tour is the kitchen, where Emily and Edward are making a mess."

Angela laughed as we walked into the kitchen. Edward had Emily next to him on the counter – she was mixing the bowl.

"Hey Emily. Look who came to visit."

"Aunt Ang! Aunt Ang!"

She hopped off the counter and ran straight into Angela's arms.

"Hey there peanut. I heard from your mommy that you love your new room!"

"Can I show you?"

"Of course you can. Your mother waited so that you could show me!"

Emily beamed up at Angela as she took her hand and pulled her upstairs.

I leaned against the wall and watched Edward as he continued to mix the bowl. He eventually glanced up and smiled at me, "See something you like?"

I shrugged, "I guess."

He went back to his work and I walked over to him, wrapping my arms around him from behind. He sighed and I kissed in between his shoulder blades.

"I love you Edward."

He turned around and cupped my face into his hands, "Say it again."

I looked directly into his eyes, "I love you Edward Cullen."

Before anything else happened her pressed his lips to mine. I moved my hands to his hair and he pulled his body closer to mine, wrapping his arms around my waist. Our bodies moved until I was up against the fridge.

"I need you Bella. I don't want forever without you."

"My heart says yes, just as it always has. My head will soon follow."

We kissed again but pulled apart when Angela cleared her throat in the doorway of the kitchen.

"Do you two need another minute or can I uncover Emily's eyes now?"

Edward stepped back and we both blushed. I rushed to Ang and pulled Emily from her arms.

"Did you show Angela your room peanut?"

She nodded fiercely and opened her eyes.

"You were kissing daddy."

I blushed and smiled, "Yes."

"Does that mean we are a family now?"

I was speechless. My daughter had the habit of saying the most perfect thing at the perfect time and this was just another one added to the list.

Edward spoke, "Yes."

Emily hugged me and Angela winked. We all ate supper talking about how we enjoyed Forks and what was in store for the rest of the summer.

"Practice doesn't start up until the first of August, so I have about five weeks off now."

"I'll probably take up my summer waitressing and playing gig again."

"You know you don't have to work if you don't want to Bella."

"I know, but I like it. Victoria has been so nice to me and I really enjoy playing on Friday and Saturday nights."

"You have really been singing for three years haven't you?"

I nodded, "I love it."

"If only she would play some more of her originals!"

I glared at Angela, "You know darn well why I don't play them."

Edward glanced at me, "Why not Bella?"

I looked down, "Because they are personal. If someone didn't like them then it is like they don't like me and that is who I am."

He nodded, completely understanding.

"See he agrees, why won't you Ang?"

"Because I have read them Bella and they are really good!"

I blushed, "They are?"

"Yeah. You just need to practice them so that you don't have to worry about people not liking them."

"I'll think about it. Remember what happened last time I played an original?"

We all laughed and then laughed harder when we noticed Emily slumped over in her booster seat at the table.

"I guess it's getting late. I should get home. Call me Bella."

"I will Angela. Thanks for stopping by."

***** EPOV *****

I put Emily to bed that first night. I was still trying to recover from that kiss in the kitchen. Sure Bella and I had sex twice already but we were careful. I loved her so much – I couldn't make an ass of myself. I needed her too much.

Bella came in just as Emily was falling asleep. She kissed her forehead and grabbed my hand as we walked back to our bedroom.

"I can stay in the guest bedroom if you would like Bella?"

She grabbed my face and pressed her lips to mine, "No."

I sat down next to her and sighed, "We need to talk then."

She sat up and nodded, "We do."

"Bella I have every intention of staying forever."

"I know you do. That is why I am letting my walls down."

"Are you forgiving me then for all my mistakes that I made growing up?"

She took a deep breath, "I do forgive you Edward. There is a small part of me that is fighting against it but I am sick of the torture. I want you – always."

That was all I needed to hear as I crashed my lips to hers. I laid on top of her and pressed my body against hers. She moaned under me.

"I want you."

"As I want you."

She pulled my shirt off me and quickly unbuttoned my jeans. I rolled over and slid them off. She grabbed her shirt and ripped it off over her head and quickly did the same with her pants, kicking them off.

She straddled me and rolled her hips into my growing erection.

"Oh Bella, when you do that…"

She kissed down my body, lingering on my abs. My hands twisted in her hair and pulled her lips back up to mine. I rolled us over and hovered over her body as I kissed down her jaw line and neck. I got to the spot right in between her breasts and let my tongue slide up along the material of her bra. My fingers worked at her front clasp.

Her breasts sprung free and I greedily sucked a nipple into my mouth. I ground my erection into her hips and she let out a soft moan.

"Quit teasing me."

I chuckled and kissed down her body. I peeled off her under wear and kissed up her thighs. I found myself placing tiny kisses all over her beautiful lips and surrounding area. She moaned and grabbed the comforter with her hands, making fists.

I licked her up and down and slowly slid in a finger. I sucked on her clit and worked her body – her hips pushing against me. I could feel how hard I was.

"Bella I need to feel you."

I went to grab a condom and she stopped me, "No Edward. Not tonight."

"But Bella… we can't. School… Work… Lacrosse… Emily…"

The excuses rolled of my tongue – nothing was making sense.

"I want to feel just you. Just like we did the afternoon we created Emily."

I hovered over her again cupping her face in my hands, "Are you sure you want this?"

She pulled at my boxer-briefs until they were off my body as she nodded.

"I need just you Edward. Always."

"On one condition Bella?"

She pressed her lips to mine, "And what's that?"

"Marry me?"

She only nodded as I slid in. She was so tight around me that I knew I wasn't going to last long.

She wrapped her arms around my neck and her legs around my waist. I slid in deeper as she moaned loudly.

"July 24th?"

I pounded into her, "Sounds perfect, Love."

"That's only four weeks away."

Our bodies grinded against one another. Our moans loud and our needs completed. I emptied myself into her as she climaxed and shuddered around me.

"I love you Isabella Swan."

She kissed my lips again. We were lying side by side, holding one another close.

"I've always loved you Edward Cullen."

The next morning we were cuddled in our bed when Emily came bounding in.

"Morning!"

Thankfully we had gotten dressed before going to bed last night. Of course I had gotten down on one knee and given her my grandmother's ring as well - I was nothing if not thorough.

Bella sat up and pulled Emily into her lap.

"Daddy and I have something to discuss with you peanut."

I sat up and kissed her forehead as she smiled up at me.

"What would you think if mommy and I got married?"

Emily just cocked her head to the side and looked at us intently, "Aren't we a family already?"

Bella let out a loud laugh and I had to chuckle along with her.

"Of course we are Emily. But this would make it final and real. You would have to change your last name and so would I so that we have the same one as daddy."

Her eyes lit up then, "I'm going to have daddy's name!"

Bella just nodded, "You would be Emily Allera Cullen. How does that sound?"

She threw her little arms around Bella and squeezed, "I love it mommy!"

She then proceeded to climb into my lap and hug me too.

"I love you daddy!"

"I love you Emily."

"We were thinking of getting married really soon to, what do you think?"

She nodded furiously, "Can we have everyone come out here for the wedding?"

We just laughed and smiled, "That is something that we have to discuss with grandpa and grandma, don't you think?"

She nodded and hopped off the bed, "I'll be in my room."

She took off then, shutting out door.

"Could we honestly have a more perfect child?"


	18. Chapter 17

**Chapter 17 – Wedding**** – BPOV**

"I swear Isabella Marie you are going to be the death of me!"

"I'm sorry Rose. I honestly wasn't thinking."

"You had better just hope that I am not in labor as you walk down the aisle."

"I know, I know."

"But on the other hand I am glad you two are finally tying the knot."

"Thanks, now is Alice there?"

She laughed, "Yeah sorry for high jacking the phone."

"Yes I would love to design your dress – but seriously, you are only giving me four weeks?"

"Sorry Aly."

"You're lucky I designed your wedding dress years ago."

I laughed, "Thanks Alice."

"So July 24th huh?"

"Yep. Nice and small at home. We can go on a quick honeymoon and be back before Edward starts Lacrosse practice."

"I'm so happy for you Bella."

"Thanks Aly."

"Well I will let you go be with the love of your life."

"Emily is sleeping Alice."

"Very funny Bella. Now go make my brother feel good."

I rolled my eyes, "Sure thing. Bye."

The next hour Edward and I planned most of our wedding. He took care of everything – well he called Esme who was going to do all of it. I had called Ang and she practically screamed the entire time. Everything was falling into place – we even booked our honeymoon. Nothing huge just a five day cruise, which was perfect because we couldn't be away from Emily much longer than that.

"Bella?"

"Yes Edward?"

"I love you."

"I love you too Edward – forever."

"Do you want to write our own vows?"

"I haven't really thought about it. I mean it would be better than the traditional ones I guess."

"Well you have the upper hand being the song writer that you are."

I nodded, "You'll deal."

He chuckled, "I always do."

The next three and a half weeks flew by. We were on the flight back to Forks with Angela. Emily was cuddled into Edward's lap and Ang and I were talking.

"You ready for this?"

"I've wanted this for seven years Angela."

"I know and now it is really happening."

"I know. I love him so much. I mean look at him and Emily."

She glanced at them, "She loves him so much."

"He is the perfect doting father."

"He had two years to make up for though."

"I know, but she forgets that she went two years without him."

"I know Bella. She forgets easily and you forgive easily."

I shrugged, "You do that for the ones you love."

The plane descended in Port Angeles and our entire family – even my dad, greeted us at the gate.

"Hey there kids!" Carlisle said smiling. Emily threw herself into his arms.

"Grampa!"

"Hello there peanut."

She quickly hugged him and squirmed over into Esme's arms, "Gramma!"

Esme kissed her forehead, "I've missed you Emily."

She set her down and Charlie scooped her up, "Hey there kiddo."

"Hi grampa grampa."

We got our bags and headed to Forks. The hour drive went by quickly with Alice jabbering in my ear the whole way.

"And the cake is all ready to go as well. I can't wait for you to try on your dress. You are going to look stunning."

"She always does," Edward whispered.

Alice just rolled her eyes. As soon as we got home she pulled me from the car and dragged me upstairs. She stripped my clothes off me and I just rolled my eyes.

"Jeeze Alice – we just met!"

"Shut it Swan and get into your dress. You realize I only have two days to make it fit you perfectly?"

"Aren't up to the task there Cullen?"

She hit my arm playfully and started stomping her foot. I slid the dress on over my skin and she zipper me up. She took a step back, "I knew it'd be perfect."

I looked at myself in the mirror and nodded, "Thank you Alice."

She hugged me lightly and began pinning me in various places where the material sagged slightly. We spent the next few hours making sure all the details were perfect. We were getting married at the house and the reception was here as well. Alice and Esme were determined to make sure everything went smoothly.

That night I collapsed into bed with Edward. Being with Alice and Esme all afternoon was exhausting.

"You okay Love?"

I rolled into his chest, "Just ready to be Mrs. Cullen – that's all."

"No second thoughts, cold feet?"

I shook my head, "I've wanted to marry you since eighth grade Edward."

"Sorry it took so long for me to ask."

"I always told myself I would wait for you. I guess it all paid off."

I slept through the next two nights without difficulty. It was Friday night and the rehearsal had been flawless.

"Bella!"

"What Alice?"

"You can't be with him tonight."

"Why not?"

"Because it's tradition."

"There isn't really anything traditional about Edward and I, Aly."

"Tough – this one is sticking. You are sleeping with me tonight."

"I'm not going to sleep well without him next to me though."

"Sorry. It's only one night – you have the rest of your lives to be with one another."

"Fine. But don't be surprised when I cuddle up next to you in the middle of the night."

"I'm looking forward to it."

Like I had said - I slept horrible. I had a nightmare that Edward left me standing at the alter and I woke up and couldn't fall back asleep. The next morning I lied there and waited for Alice's alarm to go off. I eventually got up and took a shower instead. I walked back out to the bedroom and Alice just stared at me.

"Why are you up so early?"

"I told you I wouldn't be able to sleep!"

"Oh… sorry."

"It's not your fault, it's just how I am."

She stood and wrapped me into a hug, "I can't believe you are becoming my sister today. I have wanted this since the first day of Kindergarten."

"Me too Aly."

She primped and prodded me all morning long. Rosalie and Esme even got in on the action. My hair was teased, curled and pinned and my face was caked in makeup. I slid on my undergarments and stared at myself in the mirror.

"Wow."

"Wow doesn't even cover it. He is not going to be able to keep his hands off you."

I blushed, "Good."

The next hour was an anxious one. I got in my gown and Emily came into the room.

"Mommy, you look pretty."

I scooped her up into my arms, "So do you peanut."

"Aunt Alice picked out my dress."

"And she did a fine job of it. Did gramma do your hair?"

She nodded.

"You know that daddy and I are getting married today and that we will all be a family now?"

She nodded again.

I sighed.

"Mommy?"

"Yes my angel?"

"When am I going to be a big sister?"

I blew out a sharp breath, "I'm not sure Emily. Do you want to be a big sister?"

"Yes."

"Okay then, thank you for telling me."

"I want a little brother."

I laughed, "Okay."

I set her down and she bounded out of the room and right into my dad.

"Whoa, easy there kiddo."

She smiled up at him, "Sorry grampa."

He looked at me, "You look beautiful today Bella."

"Thanks dad."

"You ready to get married?"

"Have been since we were in eighth grade dad."

The music began playing and he led me down the stairs. My eyes searched the room for him, he was standing by the alter smiling brightly at me. My heart melted at that moment. My dad took my hand and placed it into his and I was finally home.

"Edward and Bella have decided to write their own vows," the pastor announced.

Edward took a deep breath, "Bella, today I become your husband and you become my wife. I will strive to give you the best of myself, while accepting you the way you are. I promise to respect you as a whole person with your own interests, desires, and needs, and to realize that those are sometimes different, but no less important than my own. I promise to keep myself open to you, to let you in to my innermost fears and feelings, secrets and dreams. I promise to grow along with you, to be willing to face change as we both change, keeping our relationship alive and exciting. And finally, I promise to love you in good times and in bad, with all I have to give and all that I am, in the only way I know how - completely and forever."

I let a few tears fall as Edward wiped them with the pads of his thumbs.

I sighed, "Edward, today I take you to be my husband. I promise to love you without reservation, comfort you in times of distress, encourage you to achieve all of your goals, laugh with you and cry with you, grow with you in mind, and spirit, always be open and honest with you, and cherish you for as long as we both shall live. Together we will create a home, becoming a part of one another. I vow to help create a life that we can cherish, inspiring your love for me and mine for you. I vow to be honest, caring and truthful, to love you as you are and not as I want you to be, and to grow old by your side as your love and best friend."

We had our family members in tears as the pastor announced us husband and wife. We went back down the aisle holding one another's hand. Emily was not far behind us. As soon as we made our way in the reception hall Edward scooped Emily up into his arms

"Hey there peanut."

"Daddy, do I have your last name now?"

We both chuckled, "Not yet there kiddo. We will take care of that when we get back from our cruise."

"Are you sure I can't go with you?"

"Emily, we've talked about this," Esme said coming in and taking her from Edward's arms.

"But gramma!"

"No buts missy. You are going to spend a week with me, okay?"

"Okay."

We ate our dinner and chatted amongst our family members. We started our dances but in the middle of the evening Rose crumpled over.

"Rose are you okay?"

"Babies… coming!"

Emmett went into panic mode and started freaking out while Carlisle took control of the situation.

"Edward and Jasper take care of Emmett will you? Charlie take Emily back to your place and we will call you when you can bring her to the hospital. Alice, Bella, and Esme get Rosalie into my car – now."

We all separated, but not before I rushed over to Edward.

"I can't believe this is happening – this is so exciting."

He kissed me full on the lips, "I will see you at the hospital."

Alice tugged on my arm, "Come on Rose needs us."

We rushed over to her and she death-gripped my arm, "It hurts!"

"I know Rose, but if you don't let go of my arm I won't get you to the hospital."

She released me and Alice, Esme and I helped her into the car. We were at the hospital within minutes. Rose screamed bloody murder at the nurses and even at Carlisle.

"You are already dilated eight centimeters Rose – it's not much longer."

"There isn't anything do but ease some of the contractions."

"Anything Carlisle! Bella, promise you won't leave me. You're the only one who has been through this. I need you."

I took her hand and squeezed, "I'm not going anywhere, Rose."

Within the hour she was pushing. Emmett was a nervous wreck but I kept them both in check. As soon as their daughter was placed into Emmett's arms – he nearly fainted.

"Elantra," Rose breathed.

"Keep pushing Rose. One more to go," Carlisle said.

"I can't," she whispered.

I took her hand again, "Yes you can. Look at me Rose."

She rolled her head in my direction, "Bella – I'm so tired."

"I was in labor for more than twenty-four hours Rose, and yes I only delivered on baby but you have only been doing this for about twelve hours. You can do this. Think of your baby."

She nodded and pushed again. Three pushes later their son was born. Emmett passed Elantra to me and reached for his son.

"He's perfect Rose."

"Quinton Xavier," Rose said smiling at me.

"They are perfect Rose," I said handing her Elantra.

"What is her full name going to be?"

"Elantra Marie."

I felt the tears in my eyes. I walked out of the delivery room and into the waiting room. Edward was the first to wrap his arms around me.

"How is she?"

"All four of them are perfect, tired, but simply perfect."

Everyone took their turns visiting them, each time coming out with tears in their eyes. Charlie brought Emily by and she climbed into Rose's lap and held her little cousins.

The rest of the night Edward and I stayed with them, taking turns holding the twins while Emmett and Rose slept.

"They are beautiful, aren't they?"

"Sure are."

"When do you think we can start trying for another?"

I smiled, "Well if it is all right with you I would like to finish school first. I think you should too."

"You want to run again don't you?"

"It just feels right Edward."

"I completely agree," he said smiling.


	19. Chapter 18

**Chapter 18 – Honeymoon Running**** – EPOV**

"God Bella you feel so good."

"Don't stop Edward. I'm so close."

I pumped in and out of her faster until she moaned my name loudly into my shoulder. I collapsed on top of her and she wrapped her body around mine.

"You're perfect," she whispered.

"I love you Bella."

We rolled over so that she was on top of me, "So do you think we will make it out of our room today. I mean we are on a cruise Edward and we haven't left our room yet – it's been two days."

I kissed her lips, "I'm sorry Love. I just love the idea of not getting dressed and pleasuring you all day long."

She blushed and slapped my chest, "Do you think we can at least go and sit by the pool today?"

I groaned, "Fine."

She slid off me and rinsed off in the shower while I dug around in my suitcase for my swimming trunks. She came out of the bathroom wearing navy blue bikini.

I swallowed, "If you were that Love, we won't make it to the pool."

I pulled on her tied strings at her hips but her hand swatted mine away, "Edward – Behave will you?"

I chuckled and pulled her into a kiss, "You are unbelievably sexy."

She blushed and kissed me hard and deep, "Look who's talking."

We held hands on our way to the pool. It was a beautiful late July afternoon – the sun was high in the sky and you could hear the ship powering through the waves. Bella found two lounge chairs and she laid her towel out on one. I could see the looks she was getting as she slipped into the pool. I dove in after her.

When I broke surface she was smiling at me, "Jealous much?"

I wrapped my arms around her, "Yes. You are mine. I don't like men ogling my wife."

She laughed and pecked my nose, "You are adorable, come on I need to dry off so you can apply lotion all over my body."

"You are testing my self-control Bella," I said through my teeth.

She winked and smiled seductively at me as she dove under the water towards the ladder. I quickly followed her. As soon as she was dried off I started applying the lotion. The looks of sheer envy were pointed heavily in my direction. I smiled at the thought of that.

We stayed by the pool for about an hour. Bella had flipped onto her stomach about ten minutes ago and her feet were crossed in the air. I wanted to reach out and grab her ass. I eventually leaned over to her.

"How long are you going to torture me like this?"

She turned her head and smiled coyly at me, "Why what do you mean?"

I practically growled at her, "I'm about to take you right here and now."

She stood up quickly and jumped back into the pool. I sat there and watched her body under the water. I was quickly losing it.

She climbed up the ladder and sauntered her way over to me, "Ready tiger?"

I grabbed her towel and wrapped it around her, "More than you know."

She grabbed my hand and we walked back to our room. She pulled me in and slammed the door shut, locking it quickly in the process. She pushed me up against the door and stripped off my trunks.

"Holy… Bella."

She took me into her mouth quickly and began deep-throating me immediately. Her tongue swirled around my shaft as she sucked and nipped at the tip of my erection.

She looked up at me through her eyelashes and I lost it. I began thrusting forward into her mouth as she moaned over and over.

"That's it Love. The way you take me…"

She brought her right hand up and grabbed me and began stroking while she sucked on me. I didn't last long. I exploded into her mouth and she swallowed all of me in the process.

"Oh Bella," I moaned. She stood up and pulled at her strings on her hips, allowing her bikini bottoms to fall to the floor.

I grabbed her hips and pushed her onto the bed. She quickly got on all fours and wiggled her ass at me. I wasted no time in slamming into her dry. She cried out but quickly adjusted.

"Fuck me Edward," she moaned.

My hands were on her hips pulling her back as I pounded forward.

"So tight Love," I groaned.

"Harder Edward. I want to feel you deep."

I threw my head back in ecstasy at her words. I began to thrust forward faster and harder as she rocked back towards me. I slammed into her over and over until she began to tense around me.

"That's it Bella. Just let go."

She moaned into the comforter and started shuddering as she came. I let out a growl and exploded again into her. We both collapsed onto the bed and I held her close.

"You think we can make it out to dinner tonight?"

I chuckled, "We can try."

We got home a few days later. Alice picked us up at the airport – very thankful to get away from two screaming babies.

"How's Rose doing by the way?" Bella asked.

"They are all doing really well. They are going to stay with mom and dad for the rest of the summer then move back into their house – besides mom is redecorating for them."

We drove home and the first person out of the house was Emily.

"Mommy, Mommy, Mommy!"

Bella scooped her up into her arms and hugged her fiercely, "Oh I missed you peanut."

"I missed you too mommy," she sighed.

"Hey…" I joked.

Bella placed her into my arms, "I missed you too daddy."

He kissed her forehead, "That's my girl. I missed you too."

We headed into the house. We literally went upstairs, set our bags down and were handed the twins by Rose and Emmett.

"Smooth Em," I mumbled.

"What? We need sleep okay and you two have been off gallivanting for a week."

"Well sorry we decided to inconvenience you and go on our honeymoon," Bella muttered rocking a fussy Elantra.

I did the same with Quinton. We settled in on the couch and Emily crawled in between us.

"What do you think of your new cousins, Peanut?"

"I love them daddy."

My parents came in the room followed by Alice and Jasper.

"When are you thinking of heading out Edward?" my dad asked.

I glanced and Bella and we both shrugged.

"Practice starts in a few days for me and Bella was thinking of joining cross country again."

My mom perked up at this news, "Are you really Bella?"

"Well I would like to Esme. I miss everything about. The only problem is that in high school my main reason for running was to fill the hole I had in my chest. Things are a little different now. I suppose I will have to call and talk with the coach about all of it."

"Is it the same coach that recruited you three years ago?"

Bella nodded, "I think so."

"Why didn't you join after you had Emily? You could have still done outdoor track like in high school."

"I had other priorities. I had to get a job and find a sitter. I put my life on hold because of her. I still ran, even until a month ago when Edward came back into my life, but I just couldn't be apart of something so scheduled with a child."

I shifted Quinton onto my shoulder and wrapped my free arm around Bella.

"I'm here now. We will work it all out."

She turned and smiled at me, "I love you."

*****BPOV*****

We flew back to Vermont two days later. I had called the Cross Country coach and he said I could come to the first practice and talk with the team. He said that it was really their decision to let a newcomer on – even though he remembered me from three years ago.

That morning Edward went off to his practice and Angela came over.

"Hey there Mrs. Cullen!"

"Hey Ang. How have you been?"

She shrugged and I let her in, "I really appreciate you watching Emily for me this morning."

"Not a problem Bella. I don't go in until one and Edward or you will be home by then."

I nodded, "Yep. She is currently in the kitchen making a mess of breakfast. I have to get going."

"Have a good practice."

"Thanks Ang. Keep your fingers crossed that they let me on the team."

"I will."

I jogged to the infield of thee track from the house. When I got there the coach met me.

"Morning Bella. Everyone had been talking about your arrival. So you definitely set on doing this?"

I nodded, "Just as long as it's okay with everyone else."

I glanced around his shoulder and I was getting some looks from the members of the team so the coach stepped aside and let me proceed with why I was there in the first place.

I took a deep breath, "Hi everyone. I'm Bella Swan… I mean Bella Cullen now…"

I was interrupted, "No way… like Edward Cullen's wife? The same Lacrosse walk-on Edward Cullen that is going to lead our team to the finals this year?"

I nodded, "Um. Yeah. We grew up together."

"So wait? You're like married to him?"

I nodded, "It's a long story. We did just recently get married though."

"How's recent, recent?"

I laughed, "About two weeks."

Everyone seemed rather shocked so I just sat down and started to explain.

"Edward and I have been best friends since Kindergarten. We drifted apart in high school for various reasons. The summer before my senior year I came here for an English camp. That was when I started running. You see I had always loved him – the best friend who was everything to you. I ran because it was the only way to ease the pain in my chest. When school started back up I joined the cross country team and started breaking all kinds of records."

"Seriously? Then why haven't you been running before this?"

I smiled, "I'm getting there. Anyway things took a turn for the worse the weekend of the state championship. He literally broke my heart. We didn't speak for months. Then about a month before graduation we slept together – not my finest moment either. I left for Dartmouth right after graduation and found out I was pregnant. My daughter is now almost three and Edward and I reconnected about a month ago."

"So wait. You just met back up and decided to get married because you had a daughter together?"

I thought about – yeah that is exactly how it would seem to an outsider. I shook my head.

"No. Turns out the girlfriend he had in high school had gotten him into some heavy drugs. It wasn't his choice to completely ditch me our junior and senior years. He was being controlled and threatened by her – he didn't want anyone to know about anything. During the first few months of our senior year we kind of hooked up on more than one occasion."

I got nothing but silence so I continued.

"We made the stupid decision to be friends with benefits. Anyway – she found out and apparently threatened me to him now. He wanted to protect me because he loved me. He had always loved me – he just couldn't get rid of her. Right after graduation there was a car accident and he broke almost every major bone in his body. She was killed instantly. He went through two years of rehab and physical therapy, then all last year he took every single gen. ed that would transfer here back in Washington."

"Then he transferred here and walked on!"

I nodded, "How did you know that?"

"Bella – it's a small athletic community here – news travels quickly."

I nodded, "Well now that you know why I haven't been on any team in the last three years. My daughter is my entire life."

"But you're ready to be apart of a team again?"

I nodded, "I really am. I have been running ever since Emily was born. My drive for running may have differed since high school, but my talent hasn't."

"So how many records have you broken?"

"You mean you don't know Alyssa?" A dark-skinned boy said – the same one that had been asking every other question since I first got here.

"Who are you?"

"Sorry. Name's Jacob. I'm this year's team captain."

I nodded and shook his hand, "Oh."

He continued answering Alyssa's question, "She owns not only the state of Washington's high school female record but also the National one – and that's just cross country."

"You're not serious?"

Jacob just nodded at Alyssa, "She's that good."

"But that was three years ago," I interrupted.

Jacob just shook his head, "You've still got it Bella. Good runners don't just lose their talent overnight."

I blushed.

"Well Bella, if my vote means anything I say – you're in."

I stared at Jacob as everyone nodded in agreement.

"I really appreciate you guys taking a chance on me like this."

"Well let's not waste anytime then," Alyssa said jumping up.

Jacob led the pack the whole way. I just stayed in the back. I didn't want to show off. The pace for the girls was slow but I stayed with them. In all honesty I probably could have run with Jacob. After about a good hour run around campus we stopped where we had originally started. Everyone started stretching and talking amongst themselves.

Instead of stretching I decided to take a few more laps around the field. I thought I was alone until he was beside me.

"So how we doing there Bella?"

"Fine. Just wanted a cool down."

"You still have more energy to run?"

"I have a two-year-old Jacob."

He laughed, "I see."

I kept my pace strong.

"You usually run this much? I mean we did just run for an hour?"

I stopped in my tracks, "I'm not showing off am I? I just wanted to take a few more laps to get my muscles all stretched out."

He started laughing hard, "You are so absurd Bella!"

I laughed with him, "Fine then. Race you."

He cocked an eyebrow, "Seriously?"

"Two miles," I challenged.

"That's eight laps Bella!"

"What you can't do it?"

He just shrugged, "I've never tried."

"Seriously? You just run for an hour and think you're done?"

"I guess."

I grabbed his arm and pulled him to the starting line, "You'll never get a better time if you don't start pushing yourself. Now stay with my pace. I'm going to set it pretty fast. You should be completely drained by the time we finish."

He only nodded and we took off. The first four laps were cake. I noticed him starting to slow up slightly when we were on the fifth lap.

"If you give in now, you'll be walking the last lap," I yelled.

He caught up with me then and stayed with me until the last lap. We were coming down the straight away on the seventh lap when I yelled at him again.

"You need to give this last lap everything you got. I mean full on dead sprint."

"I don't know if I can," he said winded.

"I don't care. No excuses – now push it."

I went into a full out sprint. At first he was surprised by my sudden take off. I was a good fifty yards ahead of him until we reached the last one hundred fifty meters. He caught up to me then and we raced down the straightaway. I could hear our teammates chanting both our names.

I darted past him at the last second and beat him. He immediately collapsed onto the grass breathing hard. I jogged over to him and pulled him up, "Come on – you need to walk it off."

He just eyed me, "Seriously?"

"Well I normally would suggest jogging it off."

"Okay – we'll walk."

We were quickly joined by the rest of the team. They stayed behind us as we talked.

"So when did you decide to always run another two miles after you just ran for an hour?"

I shrugged, "I don't think I ever really decided it. You have to realize that running was the only time I felt complete. The hole in my chest hurt so badly and it was always with me. Running got rid of it, so I ran whenever I could."

"So you would run how much a day then?"

"Well it depended on the day but I would say about ten miles a day?"

He stopped and stared at me, "Why aren't you a marathon runner?"

"Because I'm not crazy. I mean at most it was ten. Some days it was only like five."

He started walking again, "Oh. Okay. So then how'd you get so fast?"

"Well I had a lot of pain to run with. I set a pace at the beginning and kept with it. I never backed down."

The whole team was walking with us now. Jacob stopped and grabbed my arm and turned us to face everyone.

"Bella I think you have some things that you need to share with us. You are so good and it only comes from practice. What are some tips you can give us so that we are unstoppable this year?"

Everyone chimed in with yes' and cheers. I just blushed.

"Well we need to add in a workout routine. When I get home I always do a push-up and ab routine. Then I do lunges and squats. I always do a two-mile cool down, typically not such a fast pace. I just wanted to prove a point today."

Everyone laughed.

"I really don't like showboating. If you want me to show you all these things then I would be more than happy, but if you're not interested that's fine too."

Almost everyone said simultaneously, "Oh, we're interested."

The next few weeks went by quickly. Edward went to practice in the afternoons and mine were in the morning. It was hard not seeing one another very much but we made up for it every night. We did have some conflicting weekends with Lacrosse and Cross Country, but thankfully it somehow managed to be where he was home and I was away or visa versa.

"Bella are you ready for tomorrow?"

I nodded and kissed his lips, "I'm glad yours is on Sunday this weekend. I hope you both don't get bored at tomorrow's meet."

He wrapped his arms around me, "That's ridiculous Bella."

I laughed, "I'm glad Angela will be there too. I'm thinking about hooking her and Jacob up. They seem like they would make a really nice fit."

"I'm glad you made a friend."

"Me too. I'm also glad that I have someone to run with."

His arms gripped me tighter, "I can't believe you are running with the guys."

I giggled, "The girls' pace is just too slow for me."

The next morning Edward prepared just a grapefruit for me along with my energy drink. I sat down at the table next to Emily who was currently stuffing her face full of her daddy's famous pancakes.

"You going to be a good girl for daddy this morning, Peanut?"

She nodded furiously smiling at me.

"Okay well I have to get going. I will see both of you after the race." I got up and kissed Edward full on the lips causing Emily to giggle. I then turned around and pecked on her forehead. "Love you both."

"Good luck Mommy!" Emily called as I grabbed my bag from the kitchen floor. Edward's hands snaked around my waist and he led me to the door.

"You're going to be great today, Love." I turned around and faced him. He leaned his forehead against mine.

"Remember that Angela will be here in about half an hour."

"Good Luck. I love you." He kissed my lips again and shut the door behind me. I jogged over to the field where everything was being set-up.

"Morning Bella."

"Hey there Jacob. Anything I can do to help?"

He smiled, "Yeah, you can kick some ass today."

I laughed and playfully slapped his arm, "Anything else there oh fearless captain?"

He shook his head and I threw my bag down next to every one else's.

"Morning Bella."

"Hey guys, sorry I'm late."

"You weren't late Bella, we were just all early. We don't have a daughter to get ready in the morning," Alyssa said.

I laughed, "Well Edward got her ready this morning while I slept in, so I have no excuses I guess."

Everyone laughed and we put up our tent over our bags. Coach came over soon after and gave us all a pep talk.

"Okay today is the Dartmouth Invitational. Last year we finished last, so do you think that maybe today we could possibly win our own invitational? I know it's early on in the season but today's route we have run about a thousand times already. You know your strength and weaknesses so I want you to pace yourselves correctly."

He then turned to me and rested his hands on my shoulders, "Bella I'm counting on you today. Make us all proud. The competition won't know what hit 'em."

Everyone laughed again, but they really were counting on me – eek.

The teams started to arrive. Coach apparently called in a few last minute teams just to beef up the competition and prove how good I was. To everyone there I was a nobody but I was about to make a name for myself and I wasn't sure if I was ready for that. Crazy thing was I had to book it to work right afterwards. Victoria had been really nice about the whole summer thing but now that school was in session she expected me to play every Saturday night, unless I was gone.

I didn't mind though because I had some new songs I wanted to people to hear about how in love I was. The regulars were in for a surprise tonight.

"Bella?"

"Yes Coach?"

"Are you okay?"

"Fine, why?"

"You just seem nervous."

"Oh. Not really. I was actually thinking about work tonight. I am debuting a new song."

"Well we will all have to celebrate there after the big win today."

I smiled and nodded, "No problem – in it to win it Coach."

"That's my girl. I think you have some fans," he said pointing to Edward, Angela, and Emily.

I laughed and waved at them. I walked over to the team and noticed Jacob looking in the direction of my family.

"You okay there Jacob?"

"Who is that beautiful young woman next to your husband?"

I laughed, "That's my best friend and manager. Her name is Angela. Would you like me to introduce you two after the meet?"

"Be still my heart," he muttered.

I laughed again and slapped him on the back, "Come on lover boy. It's almost time. We need to stretch and warm-up."

The whole team did the usual routine of getting loose. Jacob led us, after I got his head back in the right place. I knew they would be perfect for one another.

Before I even knew it I was running. My legs carried me further and further away from the pack as I widened my stride. This course was so easy for me. I quickly caught up with some of the guy runners and they just gawked at me as I ran by them. Pretty soon I was able to see Jake. I widened my stride even further and caught up with him.

"Hey."

He turned and smiled, "Hey."

"Why the pansy pace slacker?"

"I'm sorry we can't all be superstars Bella."

I let out a breathless laugh and slapped his back, "Go get 'em tiger."

With that he took off and left me behind. I knew he had it in him. When I rounded the last turn I could hear the crowd cheering. Some of the guys must already be running down the straightaway. I came out of the marked path and onto the final stretch. I lengthened my stride yet again and pushed myself forward.

I crossed the finish line at a personal best of 17:26:38. I threw my hands on my head and jogged over to Jacob who was lying flat on the grass.

"Get up Jacob. Come on walk with me."

We began pacing back and forth on the infield as the rest of the runners came in. Alyssa was the next girl in sight. She came in around nineteen something – even she beat a few boys. Slowly but surely the rest of our team joined our walking on the infield. We were all completely exhausted.

No announcements had been made yet but Coach made his way over to us with a huge smile on his face.

"You guys – I couldn't be prouder. Every single one of you pr'ed by quite a lot – that was the best race to start the season off with."

"What's taking so long Coach?" Alyssa asked.

He smiled, "Well Bella broke this invitational record and they are just verifying it."

My jaw dropped, "You're serious?"

He only nodded, "Thank you for blowing them away today Bella, Alyssa. It shows how much hard work we have put into our pre-season."

That night everyone went out to celebrate – at nowhere other than where I work. They all bugged me to let them know what song I was singing.

"It's an original okay guys? Back off!"

"Is she always this touchy Edward?" Jacob teased.

Edward just took a swig of his beer, "Nah. She's just territorial about her music."

Everyone nodded. I was so glad Ang's mom had Emily. I sat down next to Jacob. Angela was currently backstage setting up my guitar.

"Why don't you off to buy her a drink when she gets back Jacob?"

He nodded to the one she currently had. I grabbed it and downed it quickly, "There. No excuses now lover boy."

I slid into Edward's lap and pressed my lips to his.

"Hey there sexy. You do know that I can barely contain myself when you do things like that?" he whispered.

I giggled, "Opening my throat is a talent I think you are fully aware of."

He growled and pulled me to his lips again, "Don't tease me… please. I do have an afternoon game tomorrow."

I nodded, "I know. As soon as I finish my set we are out of here."

He smiled and let me stand, "Good Luck, Love."


	20. Chapter 19

**Chapter 19 – Singing the School Years Away**** – EPOV**

I watched Bella make her way backstage. She swung her hips back and forth just to taunt me. I wanted to take her right there but I contained myself. As soon as Bella disappeared backstage Angela appeared. She came and sat down next to me.

"Everything all set up?"

She nodded and eyed her drink, "Seriously?"

"Bella was feeling a bit nervous," I lied quickly.

She just gave me a yeah-right look; Jacob stepped right in.

"Can I buy you another drink Angela?"

She turned and smiled at him, "That would be great Jacob. Thank you."

He stood and offered her his hand, "Not at all a problem."

They made their way to the bar and flirted up there quite a bit. They were on their way back when Bella took the stage. She walked out in her simple jeans and t-shirt and she made my heart soar.

"I have a new one for everyone tonight. I hope you like it."

(Song and Lyrics by Taylor Swift – _Crazier_)

I've never gone with the wind

Just let it flow

Let it take me where it wants to go

Til' you opened the door

And there's so much more

I'd never seen it before

I was tryin' to fly but I couldn't find wings

But you came along and changed everything

You lift my feet off the ground

You spin me around

You make me crazier crazier

Feels like I'm falling and I

I'm lost in your eyes

You make me Crazier Crazier Crazier

I watched from a distance as you

Made life your own

Every sky was your own kind of blue

And I wanted to know how that would feel

And you made it so real

You showed me something that I couldn't see

You opened my eyes and you made me believe

You lift my my feet off the ground

You spin me around

You make me crazier crazier

Feels like I'm falling and I

I'm lost in your eyes

You make me crazier crazier crazier

Ohhhh

Baby you showed me what livin' is for

I don't wanna hide anymore

Oh Ohh

You lift my feet off the ground

You take me away

You make me crazier crazier

Feels like I'm falling and I

I'm lost in your eyes

You make me crazier crazier crazier

Crazier Crazier

She finished and took a bow before quickly exiting the stage. I slipped out of my seat and met her backstage. She was sitting with her head between her knees taking deep breaths.

I sat down next to her and placed my hand on her back, "You okay Bella?"

She nodded, "It was just a rush that's all. I missed it."

"I'm glad you are doing what you love."

She snapped her head up and winked at me. I blushed.

"I love you," she murmured pressing her lips to mine.

I wrapped my arms around her and pulled her into my chest, "I loved your song."

"Good I wrote it about you."

I nodded, "Figured as much."

"I have one more that I want you to hear."

"You are going to debut two new ones tonight?"

She nodded, "This next I wrote in high school though – okay?"

I kissed her lips again, "I love you so much. You inspire me daily."

"Well then get back out there and wait for this next one. I'll dedicate it to you if you like?"

"I would love that Bella."

I went back out and sat with everyone.

"How's Bella?"

I nodded, "Good. She's debuting another new one."

Angela grabbed my arm, "She isn't?"

I smiled at her. Jacob had his arm around her waist.

"She is. She said she wrote it in high school."

"Oh my. I think I know which one it is. This one is my favorite." She stood quickly and ran backstage. Jacob just shrugged at me.

Bella took the stage and Angela was with her holding a violin. I glanced at Jacob.

"Hey I didn't know she could play."

"Me either Jacob."

Bella sighed and spoke into the microphone.

"Okay this next one I am dedicating to my husband. This is something I wish I had the guts to do four years ago – maybe we'd be in different situations if I just would have sang this one to you instead of _Jump then Fall_," she said winking at me.

(Song and Lyrics by Taylor Swift – _I'd Lie_)

I don't think that passenger seat

Has ever looked this good to me

He tells me about his night

And I count the colors in his eyes

He'll never fall in love he swears

As he runs his fingers through his hair

I'm laughing 'cause I hope he's wrong

And I don't think it ever crossed his mind

He tells a joke I fake a smile

That I know all his favorite songs and

I could tell you his favorite colors green

He loves to argue, born on the seventeenth

His sister's beautiful, he has his father's eyes

And if you ask me if I love him, I'd lie

He looks around the room

Innocently overlooks the truth

Shouldn't a light go on?

Doesn't he know I've had him memorized for so long?

He sees everything black and white

Never let nobody see him cry

I don't let nobody see me wishing he was mine

I could tell you his favorite colors green

He loves to argue, born on the seventeenth

His sister's beautiful, he has his father's eyes

And if you ask me if I love him, I'd lie

He stands there then walks away

My God, if I could only say

I'm holding every breathe for you

He'd never tell you but he can play guitar

I think he can see through everything but my heart

First thought when I wake up is, "My god, he's beautiful"

So I put on my make up and pray for a miracle

Yes, I could tell you his favorite colors green

He loves to argue oh and it kills me

His sisters beautiful he has his father's eyes

And if you asked me if I love him

If you ask me if I love him, I'd lie

After she finished everyone stood and cheered. I immediately took the stage and swept her into my arms.

"I'm here now and I'm glad you didn't lie when you said you loved me."

"Never again Edward. I love you now and forever."

"You were so observant back then. I'm glad I married you when I did because after this song I would have proposed on the spot."

She giggled, "Well you kind of did anyway."

I nodded and pressed my lips to hers. The crowd went wild as I dipped her back.

"I love you Isabella Cullen."

She blushed as she bowed. She grabbed my hand and pulled me backstage. Angela followed as well.

"I didn't know you could play Ang."

She nodded, "Well we kind of worked on this song so much for the past three years that I just had to do it for her."

Bella pulled Angela into a hug, "Thanks Ang. You're the best."

"I'm just glad everything worked out between you two."

I pulled Bella into an embrace, "Me too Ang. Me too."

We made our way back out to the table and sat down. Everyone congratulated Bella on her songs and told her what a great job she did. We left a short time later. Angela decided to have Jacob walk her home. Bella was instantly thrilled about that news. We stopped by Mrs. Weber's and picked up a very sleepy Emily.

"Good run… tod… mom… my," she mumbled before falling asleep on my shoulder.

We got her home and put her into bed. Bella and I weren't far behind her either. We both fell into bed as soon as we changed our clothes.

***** BPOV*** (3 ½ years later)**

"Bella, come on you don't want to miss the flight."

"I'm coming! You know packing for three isn't easy when you are headed to Nationals Edward!"

I heard him chuckle from downstairs. Three and one-half years ago I was doing the same thing for Cross Country. The past three seasons we have been National Champs and I have broken every record since then. Track has been much the same. I am the star five-thousand and ten-thousand runner as well as an anchor in the Distance Medley Relay. My specialty is the two-mile though. I dominate that – usually lapping everyone within the first mile.

I threw the rest of our clothes in the suitcase and headed down the hallway to Emily's room. I quickly packed her suitcase and then put everything at the top of the stairs. Edward was going to have to carry it all. I bounced down the stairs and into the kitchen. Emily was slumped over in her booster seat, her long bronze-colored curls pulled back in a low ponytail, courtesy of Edward.

"Kind of early for her huh?"

Edward chuckled, "Guess you could say that. I basically had to dress her because she is still so tired.

"Good thing it is only an hour flight then huh?"

He laughed, "Yeah. My mom and dad called and they should be here any minute. Alice and Jasper are already there and Rose and Emmett flew out last night and are with Alice and Jasper right now."

"The twins?"

"Are with mom and dad. Your dad is also coming in with them."

"Good. I can't believe they will be four in August."

"And I can't believe we are going to be late for graduation," he said looking at his watch. I grabbed a granola bar and picked up Emily as we headed out the front door. Edward grabbed all our bags. Nationals and graduation on the same weekend is ridiculous.

"Morning you two."

"Morning dad!"

"Here I'll help you there, Edward. You two better get going. We will meet you there," Esme said taking Emily from me. Edward and I raced across campus and checked in just in time. We were put in our line and we helped one another get our gowns and hats on.

About half an hour later it all started. Edward and I took our seats next to one another and we spotted our entire family, including Angela and Jacob with their six-month old son. We waved and settled into our seats.

The ceremony went quickly and before we knew it they were calling up our row.

"Edward Anthony Cullen, Cum Laude." I watched him walk across the stage before me. I was so proud of him. He did it all in three years – National Champion in Lacrosse all three of those years too.

"Isabella Marie Cullen, Magna Cum Laude." I took a deep breath and started walking. I accepted the handshake from the president and got my diploma. Alice was waiting at the bottom of the steps as she snapped pictures of Edward and I. We got back to our seats and I cuddled into his shoulder.

The ceremony ended and we rushed out of the auditorium. Jasper threw me my bag and I darted in the bathroom and changed into more appropriate plane clothes. Esme was waiting for me with the car. She quickly drove me to the airport and I caught my plane with my teammates just in time.

Six hours later I was relaxing in my hotel room when there was a knock on my door.

I answered it and everyone was standing in front of me, "Hey guys. Let me grab my purse so we can go out to eat."

"So how did your prelim go Bella?"

I grabbed Edward's hand, "Fine. It was easy. I have the best qualifying time right now."

"Of course you do," Alice chimed in.

I looked over at her and smiled. She was positively glowing – six months pregnant. I smiled internally to myself.

We got to the restaurant and were seated immediately. Good thing Carlisle had called ahead. With eleven adults and four children you never know how it is going to be.

"So Angela, how's William doing?"

"He's such a great baby Bella. I got a lot of hands-on experience with Emily so…"

Jacob just smiled down at his son, who was currently sleeping in his arms.

"I'm really glad you two were able to make it out for this. It means a lot to me."

"It's your last race Bella. We wouldn't miss it for anything."

"Thanks Jacob. Fatherhood suits you well by the way."

He smiled at me. My entire family was with me on the biggest weekend of my life.

I grabbed Edward's hand again, as well as Emily's.

"Well I have an announcement I would like to make."

Everyone turned to look at me.

"No one knows this yet but I don't think I can keep this a secret any longer."

Edward glanced at me curiously and I just winked at him.

"It is kind of unexpected, but it is something that I know will thrill everyone."

I was getting an eyeful from Alice. Of course she knew – Alice knew all. She only winked at me and kept her mouth shut.

I turned to Edward then, "Sweetie – we're pregnant."

Talk about silence. Nothing was said for a good five minutes. Edward's face went pale white as Emily yanked on my arm.

"What is it Peanut?"

"I'm going to be a big sister?"

I only nodded and kissed her forehead. Carlisle finally broke the silence.

"How far along are you Bella?"

I sighed, "About seven weeks."

Edward cocked an eyebrow, "Spring break?"

I nodded. Emmett roared with laughter then.

"You two – seriously! Like we wanted to know when it happened."

Rose slapped him over the head and the twins clapped with amusement.

"Are you medically cleared to participate Bella?" Carlisle asked.

I nodded, "Yes. Doctor said there was no reason I couldn't run this weekend."

Edward pulled my lips to meet his at that moment. We didn't break apart until someone – Emmett – cleared his throat. Even then he just rested his forehead on mine.

"Tell me I'm not dreaming."

I smiled, "You're not. This is really happening. We are having a baby."

He placed his hands on my stomach and sighed, "I can't wait to see my child growing in side of you."

I brushed my lips past his again, "I love you."

The rest of the evening went by quickly. I was in bed by my allotted curfew and fell asleep quickly. The next morning I was hit with a case of severe morning sickness. My teammates were at my side.

"You okay Bella?"

"Fine. This will be over soon."

"You can't be nervous," Alyssa said.

Through it all Alyssa had been there for me. Since she was only a sophomore when I joined we became fast friends. Now we were both seniors with many titles, championships, and records to our name. She was in for the DMR as well as the one-mile and steeple chase.

"Can you keep a secret?"

She nodded, "You know I can."

I took a deep breath, "I'm pregnant Lys. About seven weeks – I've been cleared to run though so nothing to worry about there, but this morning sickness just kicks the crap out of me."

She helped me up off the bathroom floor and pulled me into a hug, "I can't believe this. It is so exciting. Have you told Edward?"

I nodded, "Last night. I told everyone."

"Oh wow. How did that go over?"

"Everyone was thrilled naturally."

"Oh Bella I am so happy for you."

"Thanks but we had better get going before coach yells at us for being late."

She laughed, "Does he know?"

I shook my head, "It would just stress him out more than he already is."

She nodded, "I agree."

We got ready and pulled on our warm-ups and made our way down to breakfast. Everyone was already there as we grabbed something quick. We all then headed out to the van to ride over to the field. When we got there coach grabbed my arm and took my aside.

"Bella I just wanted to let you know that the two-mile is only minutes after the five-thousand meters."

"Oh."

"Are you up for that?"

I shrugged, "I've had worse."

"So then you want to stick with all four races?"

I nodded, "I can do this coach."

"Okay. I'm counting on you today Bella."

"I won't let you down coach."

I jogged to catch up with the DMR team, which was already warming up. We stretched and got ready. Our race was in ten minutes.

"You two just stick to a good pace. Don't worry about anything okay? Bella and I have the last two legs. With the 1600 being last Bella will be able to make that up with ease."

"Got it Ang," we all shared.

Our first leg, Megan took the baton and got into position. She was a great two-mile runner and this was only three laps – she easily had this in the bag. The gun sounded and she got out great. She led the first two laps and was in second when she handed the baton off to Jackie – she had a less than fifty second split on the 400. She rounded the track quickly and handed off to Alyssa. Her 800 pace was astonishing and we had a commanding lead when I got the baton. I took off and in the end we shattered the standing record by more than a minute.

It was a way to start off the day. The next two days were filled with more running. I had made the finals in all my races, along with Alyssa. We had a strong showing this year as the Dartmouth Girls Track and Field team.

I could hear my fans in the crowd every day too. I occasionally ran up to sit with them but I was usually running. Between all the prelims and semifinals of Alyssa and myself, we kept plenty busy. It was now the finals of everything. I literally ran the best ten-thousand of my life only last night – completely destroying the record set by myself only one year prior.

"You ready for today Bella?"

I threw my arms around Edward and kissed him, "I only have two more races, then we can celebrate appropriately." He caught my tone and growled in my ear.

"I'd love nothing more than taking you right now Mrs. Cullen."

"Wish you could but I have a 5000 to run. Wish me luck."

"You don't need it," he said kissing me again.

"Second call all five-thousand runners to the starting line."

"Love you."

"Love you more," he whispered.

I jogged to the track and stripped out of my pants. When I threw them off to the side I felt a sharp jab in my side. I flinched but it disappeared as quickly as it came. I shrugged it off and warmed-up.

Near the end of my race the pain appeared again. I didn't slow my pace, because I had three laps left. Instead I lengthened my stride. The pain grew insanely worse and just as I crossed the finish line I crumpled over in pain.

"Bella!" Alyssa cried as she rushed to my side.

Coach was with her, "You all right Bella?"

I shook my head, "I have a sharp pain right here," I said pointing to the area.

"Coming through – I'm a doctor!"

"Carlisle?"

I looked up and there he was hovering over me, "Bella? Where's the pain coming from?"

I pointed and he sighed, "Oh thank god."

"So the baby is fine?"

Everyone in hearing distance gasped, including my coach.

"You're pregnant Bella?"

"The baby is just fine Bella. But with your condition you need to take this and stretch this area. I wouldn't recommend continuing."

Anger flashed into my voice, "I didn't come all this way to bail out on my last race!"

"Bella you need to be careful," Carlisle mentioned.

"The doctor said I was fine to race. Carlisle I only have eight more laps to go. We're talking like six minutes here!"

"Bella…"

"Please Carlisle… You said the baby was fine."

"The baby is – you're not. You need to get your appendix taken out."

"What?"

"Do you want it to burst Bella?"

"There isn't anything you can do?"

He quickly examined my stomach and I only flinched once, "Well I guess, medically speaking, you can run. But as soon as you finish you are headed to the nearest hospital for an exam."

I nodded and sat up, "Deal."

I stood and Carlisle rubbed the area with some cream, "There. That should last you, and take that pill please."

I blushed and swallowed it with water quickly. I stretched and warmed up for my next race, which – thankfully – had been postponed because of me.

"Two miles, that's all it is Bella," Alyssa chanted at me.

I nodded, "I got this."

I smiled at my coach and he winked back. Good he wasn't mad at me for keeping the whole pregnancy thing from him.

"Two-Mile contestants are you ready?"

I got in my stance and took a breath. The gun fired and the race was over as quickly as it had began. Another record-breaking time by me. I took a cool down lap after wards and was immediately rushed to the hospital where, indeed, I did go under an emergency appendectomy.

"Bella? You awake Love?"

I slowly opened my eyes, "Edward?"

"I'm right here Love. You've been out of surgery for about an hour. Try not to move too much okay."

I nodded, "The baby?"

"Just fine Bella. You and the baby are doing just fine," Carlisle said.

"Emily?"

"She's sleeping in the waiting room with the rest of the family. You scared us there Love."

"I'm so sorry Edward. I had to run."

His hands cupped my face, "I know you did. I just worry that's all."

"I love you."

"I love you to Bella."

"How'd we end up doing?"

"Why don't I get Alyssa to tell you that."

"She's here?"

"She was right behind the ambulance on your way here."

He left the room and came back with a very tired looking Alyssa, "Bella?"

"Hey Lys. How'd we do?"

"Well you shattered the two mile record. We ended up winning the national championship with six broken records and national titles. You were voted outstanding female athlete and coach got the outstanding coach award as well."

"Wow and I missed it all."

"You were otherwise occupied."

I shrugged, "I guess."

She laughed, "I just can't believe – neither can anyone else for that matter – that you are pregnant."

Edward was on my other side and I looked up at him. He was smiling brightly at me.

I grabbed his hand and squeezed, "That we are."

He squeezed back and mouthed an I love you.


	21. Chapter 20

**Chapter 20 – Second Chances **** – EPOV**

I nearly lost her – again. Her surgery was quick but I was a nervous wreck. When I finally saw my dad I was immediately relieved – the smile on his face told me everything.

"She's fine Edward. You can go in and see her."

I had to reassure her that the baby was fine and that she was okay. Alyssa gave her even more good news. She left soon after because she had to catch the flight back with the team. That night I slept next to Bella. I was careful about where I placed my arms but she insisted on me holding her.

The next morning my dad came in, "Well we are all cleared and ready to go. We have rented two cars and we are all driving back."

Bella nodded as I helped her up. She was extremely sore and she couldn't stand up straight – she did just have an organ removed.

I piled into the back seat with Bella next to me. Alice and Jasper also chose to ride with us, along with Charlie, Emily and Esme. My dad drove. The other SUV was filled with Angela, Jacob, Em, Rose and all three little ones. We put Emily's booster seat in between Bella and I – I was grateful my dad had actually gotten two SUV's and not cars.

The drive back was long but we made frequent stops. We made it back to Vermont in about eight hours. I helped Bella inside and up to our bed. She fell asleep quickly. Jacob and Angela went home and everyone else crashed at our place. We stuck all three kids in Emily's room. My parents took the guest bedroom, Charlie crashed on the couch, and Alice, Jasper, Em, and Rose made due with our blow up beds.

"Edward?"

I snapped awake, "Yes Bella?"

"I have to pee. Can you help me to the bathroom?"

I got up and assisted her into our bathroom. Every step was sheer agony for her so on the way back I carefully lifted her off her feet and carried her back to bed.

"Thanks Babe."

"Anything for you my Love."

The next morning I woke up before her. I headed downstairs and had to make my way around the maze of bodies sleeping on the floor. I started some coffee and pulled out everything I needed to make a big breakfast for everyone. Charlie's flight left later this afternoon and everyone else was planning on staying the week.

As I was making breakfast Alice came in and poured herself a cup of coffee.

"Morning Edward. Bella not up yet?"

I shook my head, "You sleep okay?"

She nodded, "Yeah. No worries."

Jasper came up behind her and wrapped his arms around her from behind. Everyone knew he was going to pop the question soon.

I continued to cook and what not while everyone woke up. I was soon joined by Emily. I hoisted her onto my shoulders and let her help me finish with the eggs.

"Daddy?"

"Yes Peanut?"

"Are mommy and the baby going to be okay?"

"Of course they are Emily. You are going to be a big sister yet." She giggled and I lifted her off my shoulders and handed her a plate, "There you are kiddo."

Once everyone was in the kitchen I went upstairs to get Bella, who was still sleeping.

"Bella, Love?"

She opened her eyes and smiled up at me, "What time is it?"

"About nine. Everyone is up and I made breakfast."

She nodded and lifted her arms up around my neck, "You need to go slow."

I left her carefully from the bed and carried her downstairs. I sat her next to Emily who had devoured half her eggs already. I gave Bella a plate and sat down on the other side of her.

"How are you feeling this morning Bella?"

She shrugged, "I'm all right Carlisle. Sore mostly, but I'm really glad everyone is here."

"Oh, Alyssa called this morning as well and there is a huge party being thrown tonight in honor of everything you guys did at Nationals."

She only nodded, "I wish I felt better."

"Don't be silly Bella – we'll all go just to make an appearance – they know you are recovering from surgery but they wanted to get it done before campus cleared off for good after graduation."

"I have to call Victoria as well because I won't be able to play for a little while."

I nodded, "Consider it done Love."

"You are going to take such good care for me while I'm recuperating aren't you?"

I nodded and kissed her forehead.

Later that morning I pulled Bella into my lap on the couch while we called Victoria. We put her on speakerphone.

"Hello?"

"Hi Vic, it's Bella."

"Bella! My dear how are you?"

"I've been better…"

"Uh oh. I don't like the sound of that."

"I kind of had an emergency appendectomy over the weekend and am not allowed to work for a couple weeks."

"Oh no… Bella… I wish I would have known. You see I just got off the phone with someone who was very interested in seeing you perform this weekend. He was part of a major record label. I mean he knew all about you – everything."

"Vic, you know I don't like talking to those guys…"

"Believe me Bella I know you don't but there was something about this guy. He was extremely interested in keeping you just the way you are."

"Well you will just have to call him back and disappoint him I guess."

"Unless…"

"What are you thinking about now Vic?"

"Well I mean you could just talk to him, right? What would that hurt?"

"Vic, I don't know. I mean I would have to think about it."

"Then think about while I call him back and give him your number."

"Vic!"

"I wouldn't do this to you Bella if I didn't feel so strongly about this. At least talk with him."

Bella looked at me and sighed, "Fine."

She clicked her phone shut and gave me a small smile.

"Are you okay with this Edward?"

"Why wouldn't I be Bella?"

"I don't know. I have had so many offers in the past – they are all the same. They want me to drop my life to sign a deal and travel the world. I didn't want that now and I don't want that now – especially now," she said placing her hands on her non-existent baby bump.

I placed my hands over hers, "We can at least talk to him right?"

She shrugged, "I guess."

Once I got her back upstairs she took a nap. We had just dropped Charlie off at the airport – he was upset that he was missing tonight's big shindig. When Bella woke up, Alice and Rose helped her get ready for the party. Everyone went, including the twins and Emily. Even Jake and Angela showed up but they left William with Ang's mom.

"How you feeling Bella?"

"Fine Jake. I'm just going to make an appearance. I can't walk or stand for very long right now. Everything is just uncomfortable."

He threw his arm around her shoulder, "Well let me know if you need anything, okay?"

She smiled at him and he dropped his arm. We got to Memorial Field and the stadium was completely packed. We made our way to the infield where the team was standing with the coach, while the rest of the family found seats in the stands.

"Bella! I'm so glad you are here!" Alyssa screamed.

The coach took the microphone and began the presentations.

"Of course you all know our talented seniors Bella and Alyssa – who single handedly smashed more National records than ever before."

The crowd cheered, I stood behind Bella and supported some of her extra weight.

"And due to some unusual circumstances I haven't been able to give you these Bella," Coach said as he handed her the medals.

He handed her the microphone and she sighed.

"I am going to miss everything about Dartmouth. I have been here for six years and I never thought I would end up where I am now. I just wanted to thank everyone for their amazing support these past three years. You guys have been so wonderful and I am sad that I graduated on Friday. I am going to miss everything about the Dartmouth Running program."

There were even more cheers as the night went on. Alyssa also made a speech and then coach talked some more. By the end of it Bella was exhausted and I was basically supporting all of her now.

"You ready to go home Love?"

She only nodded as I scooped her into my arms. We made it home only ten minutes later and I put her to bed. I quickly did the same with Emily, as did Emmett with the twins. We all sat in the living room for a while talking.

"So do you think Bella will sign a recording contract with this guy?"

"I'm not sure dad. I mean I guess we will just have to hear him out. I personally am excited for Bella. This could be her big break and she hasn't even been looking for it."

"That's the best part about all of this. She is just naturally good. I have been trying to get her to see that for six years now!" Angela said.

Jacob just chuckled, "You know Bella better musically than anyone Ang. I'm surprised she hasn't listened to you in years past."

"Well the last time she was approached Emily was barely more than a year old and she was still holding out hope."

She glanced at me then down. Guilt washed through me. I wasn't going to let her make the same mistake again. I stood up abruptly and went upstairs. I crawled into bed next to Bella and just laid with her for awhile. I eventually fell asleep.

The next morning my dad was up before me and waiting in the kitchen.

"Care to talk about last night?"

I shook my head, "No."

"Edward, something clearly upset you."

I sighed, "I just hate hearing about Bella before we got together. I mean those three years apart – a lot happened. She did and didn't do a lot of things because of me."

"She cared about you."

"I know but I was stupid to get messed up with Lauren. I should have just – AH! I don't know."

He placed his hand on my shoulder, "You are with her now and that is what matters."

I glanced at him, "I know but I missed two years of my own daughter's life."

"And you won't make that mistake again Edward. You can't regret what happened in the past because it is in the past. You and Bella are together now and that is what matters."

I nodded, "I know. It just hurts sometimes. Remembering what we have been through to get here."

He slapped me on the back, "You will be there for her this time around. She loves you Edward."

The next few days went along without incident. Soon everyone had left and we had the house back to ourselves again. We both decided to not get summer jobs, this was long before we found out we were expecting so it turned out better then we thought.

"Bella?"

"Yes?"

"Have you heard from that guy that Vic said she would give your number to?"

"Nope. I doubt I will."

"Mommy!" Emily screamed running down the stairs.

"What is it Peanut?"

"I was just wondering when my baby sister was getting here? I wanted to pick out some of my favorite toys to share with her."

The mind of our six-year-old astonished me yet again. I scooped her up into my arms and sat down next to Bella on the couch.

"Not for awhile honey. You see the baby has to grow in my tummy first."

"Oh. Okay."

And with that she bounded back upstairs.

"I wonder why she thinks she is having a sister," Bella murmured.

I chuckled, "It is just how her mind works Love."

"Guess so," she said adding in her own giggle.

***** BPOV *****

The next morning I woke up to my phone ringing – it was an unknown number. I answered it.

"Hello?"

"Hello is this Isabella Cullen?"

"Yes this is Bella."

"Hello Bella. My name is Alec Janes and I am the owner of a small record label based out of California called Twicon."

"It is very nice to hear from you Alec, but I am currently not interested in signing with anyone."

"That's what Victoria thought you might say. I however flew out to Vermont in hoping that you would change your mind."

Edward walked into the bedroom then and smiled at me. I waved him over to sit on the bed.

"I'm sorry Alec but this is something that I would need to discuss with my husband."

"I completely understand Bella. But I want to assure you that I am not like other who have spoken with you in the past. I am staying at the Fireside Inn and Suites, Rm. 51 if you change your mind. I don't fly out until day after tomorrow."

I closed my phone and sighed.

"Who was that Bella?"

"Alec Janes the owner of Twicon Record Company in California. He flew out here to hear me perform in hopes of signing me."

"That's wonderful Bella!"

"You want me to do this?"

"I know you love to sing and you are good at it. Why not hear what he has to say?"

"You think I should call him back and set something up then? I mean he could come here and I could always play something for him."

"Only if it's what you want Love."

I shrugged, "I do love to sing but I can't be hopping all around the country promoting an album for six months."

"We will let him know that in advance. We should at least hear him out."

I nodded, "All right. You talked me into it."

I dialed the number back and he answered on the first ring.

"Hello Bella."

"Okay I have talked it over with my husband and we don't see a problem in hearing me perform. But here's the deal – I just had surgery and you would have to come to our house."

"I think I can do that."

"Two this afternoon okay for you then Alec?"

"If it's good for you, then I'll be there."

I gave him our address and got up for the day. Edward helped me take a bath and get dressed. I slipped into a sundress and some ballet flats – it was dressy and presentable. I then called Angela.

"Morning Bella."

"What are you doing today?"

"Nothing, why?"

"Because Alec Janes, owner or Twicon Records is coming over at two to hear me sing."

"That's great Bella. What time do you want me there?"

"Well sooner rather than later because I need help with my hair and makeup and I want to run through some songs."

"Not a problem. Jake has William so just let me call them and I will be over shortly."

"Thanks Ang. You're the best manager a girl could have."

Angela was over within thirty minutes pinning my hair back and helping me with my makeup.

"So why the sudden change of heart about signing with someone?"

I shrugged, "It's what I love to do."

"But you have had so many offers before."

"I didn't have Edward though."

She nodded, completely understanding.

We eventually had some lunch but she helped me prepare the perfect song for him. I had played it since eighth grade and it was one that I was comfortable with.

At three on the dot the doorbell rang and Emily ran to answer it before Edward could get off the couch.

She pulled the door open as far as it would go, considering the chain lock was still on, "Hello!"

"Well hi there. My name is Alec. Are your mommy or daddy home?"

She nodded but before she could turn around Edward scooped her up into his arms. He shut the door, pulled back the chain lock and reopened the door.

"Sorry about that Alec. My name's Edward Cullen."

It's nice to meet you Edward and you have an absolutely adorable daughter."

"Thank you, please come in. We're all in the living room."

Edward showed him in and led him to where I was sitting.

"It's nice to finally meet you Bella. Victoria has told me nothing but wonderful things about you."

I blushed and shook his hand, "Nice to meet you too Alec, please have a seat."

He sat down across from me in the chair while Emily ran to Angela who was sitting adjacent from me in the loveseat. Edward sat down next to me, took my hand into his and smiled.

"Before you sing Bella I just wanted to assure you a couple things first. I know you have gotten offers in the past and I know why you turned them all down. Your answer is sitting right there with your manager there and the other reason is currently holding your hand."

"How did you…"

He held up his hands, "I know a lot about you Bella. I must say that I am a huge fan of your work. You sing from the heart and people love you for it. Your songs are original and you are authentic."

"Thank you."

"I want you for my record because of everything you have been through – all your struggles – well it just makes people like you more. You are exactly the kind of artist I have been looking for."

"How do you know so much about me?"

"I did my research and I talked with a few regulars at the club you work and play at. You have had it hard – you've done so much to try and repair your heart through your music and here you are. Married to the one you've loved since eighth grade, a great friend and manager who has your back, a beautiful daughter and another one on the way, family who all care about you and support everything you do whether it be singing or running, and the best part is – it wasn't handed to you on a silver platter. You have a story and I want you to tell that story through your music to your fans."

My jaw dropped, "You're good."

"I just did my homework that's all."

I smiled and picked up my guitar. I started strumming, "I like you Alec. You're different."

He smiled at me and nodded, "Dare to be different Bella. I'm sick of the wannabes out there copying other's styles. You are the one that is different."

I blushed again and started singing my old-time favorite _I'm Only Me When I'm With You_. When I finished Edward leaned over and kissed me chastely on the lips, making me blush again.

"Perfect," he murmured.

"I agree Bella. You play with so mush emotion that it makes me wish I was married."

I laughed, "I'm glad I have that effect on you."

He smiled, "Bella I know what you want and I am willing to give you anything if you just sign with me. I understand that you have family ties and can't be away for long periods of time. I understand that Angela is your manager and you have no intent on changing that anytime soon. I also know that if you sign with me, we can make all your dreams come true."

I smiled, "Most of them already have but I like you Alec. You are exactly what I have been holding out for. Why don't you come back tomorrow so we can discuss things in more detail?"

He stood, "I would be more than happy to. Thank you for allowing me to hear you sing."

Edward stood and followed him to the door.

"See you tomorrow Alec."

"Good-bye Edward. Nice meeting you."

Before Edward could get back into the room Ang attacked.

"He is perfect Bella! I genuinely believe he is what we have been looking for."

I nodded in agreement, "I know. I like his style and way of thinking."

"You are going to be such a huge star now."

Edward came back in and sat down next to me, "Well I like him if you want my two cents."

I reached or his hand, "I always want your two cents."

He leaned over and kissed me, "Then you'll always get it."


	22. Chapter 21

**Chapter 21 – Packing on Up and Moving on Out**** – EPOV**

Bella ended up signing with Twicon records the next week. We immediately started looking for places in California. We were excited to be moving closer to home. Emmett and Rose decided to move as well. They were currently in Seattle with everything but since Rose had the twins she was staying at home with them and Emmett easily transferred his job.

Alice, on the other hand, was finding it difficult to just pack up and leave. She was in the middle of a huge designer deal and Jasper had just proposed so they were unsure as to what was happening with them.

"Hey Bella come and look at this!"

"What now Edward? You know it is hard enough for me to move around let alone going up and down the stairs every time you find a new place for me to look at with you."

I chuckled and pulled her into my lap, "You're only three months along dear."

She kissed me, "I know. I just like giving you a hard time."

"Okay so what about this one? It has six bedrooms, four and a half baths, a complete basement along with living room, family room, dining room and a gourmet kitchen."

"Wow – how much?"

"Bella would you not worry about price please? We can afford anything. I mean it even has an unfinished room above the garage."

"Good location and school system?"

"Only the best – you know that."

"Put it on the list for us to see then."

"Done – I called the realtor and we are scheduled to see this one and three other similar properties in two weeks."

"Okay. I am going to go back to packing things up. The moving truck comes at the end of the week and we need to have everything that is not a necessity ready to go."

I pulled her back towards me and kissed her lips, "You got it Love."

"I'm going to call Angela really quick to see how she is doing."

"Her mom make any improvements at all yesterday?"

"None. It doesn't look good Babe."

I nodded, "I know Love. But we'll just keep praying that she pulls out of this."

I shut down my laptop and went upstairs to do some packing while Bella made the call. Turns out Angela's mother had taken a turn for the worse and they didn't expect her to make it through the next day.

"Please call me if you need anything Ang. Okay?"

She listened for a minute. She had curled up next to me on the bed.

"No problem. Have Jacob bring him by. We can watch him for you."

She shut her phone and looked up at me, "Jacob should be here soon."

I nodded and pressed my lips to her forehead. It wasn't long after that I had little William in my arms. Jacob looked completely exhausted.

"How you holding up Jake?"

"Been better Edward. We really appreciate you looking after William for us."

"Anything – you know that."

"Well I'd better get back. I told Angela I wouldn't be gone long."

"Hang in there Jake. Call if you need anything."

"By Edward, thanks again."

I cradled William gently as I walked upstairs and put him in the makeshift bassinet we had put together. I flicked on the baby monitor and went back to packing.

It was only a few hours later that Bella got the phone call we didn't want.

"It's okay Jake. I'll be there as soon as I can. Hang in there."

She shut her phone and looked up at me with tears in her eyes. I gathered her in my arms as she quietly cried on my shoulder.

"She was such a good person Edward. I'm sorry you didn't get to know her for very long."

"How is Angela doing?"

"She's about to break down. Jake says she needs me right now."

"You just go. I will bring the kids in a little while."

"I love you so much."

"I love you too Bella."

I watched her run out of the house in a fury. She texted me a few hours later and told me it was okay to bring Emily and William to the hospital.

The next few days were spent making arrangements and going to the funeral. It was small but very intimate. Angela was a wreck. Her and Jake were crashing at our place for now. It was nice because it gave Jake and I a chance to work on some things about their apartment.

"I just don't think we have anything holding us here anymore. Maybe we should move to California with you guys? What do you think?"

"Well I know with Angela being Bella's manager it would be the best thing if they lived in the same state. What about your job?"

"I can find another one. In fact I would like to start coaching and I miss the sunshine and heat."

"Well then it is settled. Don't worry about finding a place right now though, okay? We have a moving truck coming day after tomorrow and we can get some of your things packed up for that. Then you guys can just move into here for the next week before we fly out to check out houses."

"Wow, really? You guys would do all that for us?"

"You know we would. Why don't we take the kids and get started? I think Bella and Ang are asleep in the master bedroom anyway."

"Edward you are such a good friend."

I smiled and patted his shoulder, "What can I say Jake? It's just what friends do."

Two weeks later we were all moved in to our new house in Stinson Beach. We changed some of our priorities when Jake and Angela decided to move with us, so we opted for the ten bedroom, seven bath, three story beauty. There were two complete master bedrooms on opposite ends of the house and it was just perfect for us.

Bella was growing quickly now that she was four months pregnant. We were still unsure about the sex but Bella said it was going to be another girl – honestly I couldn't care less. I was happy that I was there for her for everything this time around.

"Bella?"

"Yes Edward?"

"Are you ready for tomorrow?"

"I'm not sure. I just want to play my best – this is a big deal and all. I know Alec has a lot of faith in me, but this is another big step for my career."

"Don't worry Bella. The investors will love you. Alec has only told them the good things and that's all there is to tell anyway."

She wrapped her arms around me, "I love you Edward."

The next morning we were al off to Bella's audition of sorts. She had her contract and had been recording tracks for an album but she needed sponsors and since she was new to the business they all wanted to hear her perform before they put their money behind her. It was a very important day for her.

"Bella – good you're here. Okay they are all in there waiting for you. You just be yourself and everything will be fine."

I laughed at Alec. He was seriously sweating bullets.

"It's okay Alec. I've got this. I'm playing _Invisible_."

"All right, well you ready then?"

Bella patted her guitar that was on her hip, "Sure am."

I walked in next to her, holding her hand. There were only ten men and women all dressed in business attire. Bella quickly introduced herself, letting me hold her guitar as she made her way around the room. She was polite and friendly and even made two laugh.

"Well the song I'm sharing with you today is very near and dear to my heart. I wrote it back when I was in high school but never sang it until three years later. It was the night that Edward was introduced back into my life."

She turned and winked at me as she closed her eyes and began playing. She hit the nail on the head with this song. She played it with so much passion and meaning in her voice. She eventually turned towards me and sang the last verse looking straight into my eyes.

I just wanna show you she don't even know you

Baby let me love you, let me want you

You just see right through me

But if you only knew me

We could be a beautiful miracle, unbelievable

Instead of just invisible

She can't see the way your eyes

Light up when you smile...

She blinked then wiped away a tear quickly as she set her guitar down next to her. She smiled at me, then to Alec as the first person began talking.

"Bella that was simply incredible. You wrote that?"

She nodded, "At the time Edward and I were only friends. I wanted him to see me for who I was – more than a friend – but he didn't get the hint."

"So then how did you two end up together?"

"Now that I can tell you," I said firmly.

Everyone turned to look at me, interested.

"In high school, needless to say, I was an idiot. I had the perfect person in front of me the entire time and I never truly respected her. I used her and then threw her away when I got new friends. Those friends destroyed my relationship with my best friend and family and I did nothing to stop them. Everything came to a breaking point the night of our high school graduation. Bella was already in Vermont and I was miserable. I let her walk out of my life and did nothing to stop her. I ended up in the hospital and it took two years of rehab and physical therapy to get my life back together. Another year later I enrolled at Dartmouth, hoping to get her back – to prove how much I loved her all along."

Bella cut me off, "I performed that song for the first time that night and he was there. I ended up in the hospital after a panic attack and he never left my side. We have been together ever since."

"Wow. So you both have been through quite a bit together."

"Together and apart," Bella murmured.

"Well I love everything about you Bella. The fact that you write all your own music is inspiring and the fact that you sing it with so much conviction is even better. You are exactly the kind of artist I want to sponsor."

I watched Bella's mouth drop open, along with Alec's.

"You're serious? You're going to take a risk on someone who is married, has a six year old daughter and is four months pregnant?"

Everyone just nodded.

"You're going to take the music world by storm Bella and I am personally excited to be apart of it."

"Thank you all so much! This means the world to me and so much more."

It all went uphill from there. Bella started playing in clubs and premiering at some of the "it" parties. When she was a week from her due date, Alec called and informed her that her album, which had just been released, was already number one.

"I just can't believe this Edward. I mean is all this really happening?"

I wrapped my arms around her, "Do you know how much I love you?"

She only nodded as I wiped the tears from her cheeks. I pressed my lips to hers. We fell asleep holding one another that night. I woke up in a cold sweat the next morning, however. I got out of bed and went downstairs into the kitchen. Jacob was already there.

"You okay man?"

I shook my head, "Bad dream."

"Want to talk about it?"

"Just worried about Bella. She is overdue by a week and I know she is miserable."

He clapped his hand on my shoulder, "Don't worry Edward. That little one will make its appearance sooner or later."

I chuckled but froze when I heard the blood-curdling scream that came from upstairs. I bolted up the stairs and into the master bedroom.

"Bella!"

"Edward, hurry. The baby is coming."

I grabbed our already packed bags and helped her down the stairs. She was groaning and moaning and squeezing onto my arms with everything she had. Jacob was at the bottom of the steps with Ang.

"Anything we can do?"

"Just take care of Emily and meet us at the hospital as soon as you can."

Bella grabbed onto Angela, "Call Alec for me. I was supposed to do a phone interview this afternoon."

"Don't worry about it Bella. I'll take care of it. You go have that baby."

Bella nodded and reached out for me. I scooped her up into my arms and carried her to the car. I let her lay down in the back seat. I was at the hospital within ten minutes and Bella had our baby girl only twenty minutes after that.

"She's so beautiful Bella."

"Name her Edward."

I looked down at my daughter and only one name came to mind.

"Lena Marie."

"It's perfect," Bella breathed.

Emily came bouncing in with Angela about an hour later.

"Mommy! Daddy!"

I handed Lena to Bella and picked up Emily, "Hey there Peanut. You're a big sister now."

She smiled and looked down at her sleeping baby sister, "She's pretty."

"Her name is Lena," Bella said smiling.

Emily stared at her little sister for a while before turning to me.

"Does this mean I am not your little peanut anymore daddy?"

I shook my head, "Absolutely not. You'll always be my peanut."

She smiled and I set her on the bed at Bella's feet. Bella handed Lean to Angela as my phone vibrated in my pocket.

I smiled at I looked at the caller ID.

"It's Alice."

"Oh my gosh! I can't believe it Edward. She is precious. Jasper and I are on the next flight out. We should be there by tomorrow. Have you told mom and dad yet?"

"I sent them the same picture message I sent you and everyone else."

"Okay. Well I will see everyone soon. Love you big brother."

"Love you too Al."

I flipped through my text messages. Everyone was on their way here. We were going to need a bigger room.

Within the next few hours everyone had made it in to see Bella. Alec couldn't have been happier and he held Lena for a while before having to leave. Emmett and Rosalie were the first family to get there.

"You did good you two!" Emmett said rocking Lena back and forth. "She's the spitting image of you Bella."

My parents were the next ones there and Esme gushed over her new granddaughter. That night I slept beside Bella. Jacob and Angela had taken Emily home along with our family members. A squealing Alice awaked us the next morning.

"She's so precious! You two sure know how to make 'em."

I sat up and rubbed my eyes, "Nice to see you too there sis."

She rolled her eyes, "Oh you know I didn't just fly all the way from New York because you needed me Edward. I am here to see my niece."

Bella sat up next to me as the nurse came in, "Well you are almost ready to be discharged there Mrs. Cullen. Let's see how you're doing here."

She pressed down on Bella's stomach and nodded her head. She left then and we left the hospital an hour later. We pulled into our driveway and I let Bella out with Alice and Jasper first. I parked the car and grabbed the car seat with our sleeping bundle of joy.

The next few months were nothing but hectic. Lena was growing quickly and Bella was gearing up for her first tour. I had become a background guitar player for her since we practiced together anyway. Angela continued to manage and Jacob had taken a hand at being Bella's personal assistant. We were all fitting nicely in our world of music and our three children just fit in right along with us.

Our lives were complete and Bella and I had never been more in love.

***** Ten Years Later BPOV *****

"Emily if you do not hurry up, so help me!"

"Relax mom. I won't let you be late tonight."

She bounced down the stairs in a beautiful, form-fitting, black dress.

"I see Aunt Alice kept her promise about the dress."

She twirled around, "I know isn't it beautiful."

I nodded, "You look beautiful Emily. Now where are your brothers and sisters? And for Christ sakes where is your father?"

She laughed, "I think he is getting the boys ready and Lena was right behind me."

"Here I am mom!"

Lena tromped down the steps in her dress slacks, frilly top and converse sneakers. I had to roll my eyes – she was the spitting image of me when I was her age.

"Love the sneakers Lena," Emily sneered.

Lean just rolled her eyes and flew into my arms, "You look stunning Mommy!"

"Thank you Baby."

"I must agree Love. You do look simply radiant."

I blushed and my heart sped up as Edward came down the stairs, our seven-year-old twins in his arms. Even after more than ten years of marriage, he sure knew how to take my breath away. I pressed my lips to his, then to our boys Aden and Gabriel.

"Well don't you two look dashing?"

They both giggled as Edward set them down. Angela and Jacob came from in the kitchen. William was the spitting image of Jacob now and so was their nine-year-old, Rachel.

"Everyone ready?"

We all piled into the limousine and made our way to the awards show. I had a good chance of being named artist of the decade and I was beyond ecstatic. We were greeted by lots of press as we made our way down the red carpet.

"Bella! Bella!"

My name was being shouted in every direction as the cameras flashed. Edward wrapped his arms around my waist and whispered in my ear, "Do you have any idea how hard it is for me to keep my hands to myself right now?"

I blushed and turned to face him, "Welcome to the struggles that I face every second of every day."

He growled and pressed his lips to mine, "I love you."

"As I love you."

We continued to make our way inside as our family followed us. We were seated just as the awards program started. I was up for several awards tonight but the last one was the one that meant the most to me.

The night dragged on and soon I was taken backstage to prepare for my performance. I was debuting a new single tonight and was nervous as all get out. It symbolized everything that my life was like now and how much family meant to me.

I took a deep breath as I walked on stage. I took my place on the stool that was placed for me and held my guitar closely. The curtains were still closed in front of me as I tried to steady my breathing. Edward came up behind me and kissed my temple.

"You're going to be perfect."

I kissed him quickly as I heard them announce me. The crowd was deafening as the curtains opened.

(Song and Lyrics by Taylor Swift – _Mary's Song Oh My My My_)

She said, I was seven and you were nine

I looked at you like the stars that shined

In the sky, the pretty lights

And our daddies used to joke about the two of us

Growing up and falling in love and our mamas smiled

And rolled their eyes and said oh my my my

Take me back to the house in the backyard tree

Said you'd beat me up, you were bigger than me

You never did, you never did

Take me back when our world was one block wide

I dared you to kiss me and ran when you tried

Just two kids, you and I...

Oh my my my my

Well, I was sixteen when suddenly

I wasn't that little girl you used to see

But your eyes still shined like pretty lights

And our daddies used to joke about the two of us

They never believed we'd really fall in love

And our mamas smiled and rolled their eyes

And said oh my my my...

Take me back to the creek beds we turned up

Two A.M. riding in your truck and all I need is you next to me

Take me back to the time we had our very first fight

The slamming of doors instead of kissing goodnight

You stayed outside till the morning light

Oh my my my my

A few years had gone and come around

We were sitting at our favorite spot in town

And you looked at me, got down on one knee

Take me back to the time when we walked down the aisle

Our whole town came and our mamas cried

You said I do and I did too

Take me home where we met so many years before

We'll rock our babies on that very front porch

After all this time, you and I

I'll be eighty-seven; you'll be eighty-nine

I'll still look at you like the stars that shine

In the sky, oh my my my...

As the song ended Edward pulled me into his arms and kissed me. I had never heard the crowd so loud before. The curtain closed in front of me and Edward still hadn't released my lips. When we finally pulled apart he leaned his forehead against mine and whispered I love you, over and over.

We made our way backstage with the band and Alec was waiting.

"Smooth move there Edward."

He shrugged, "Sorry I couldn't hold it in anymore."

"Great song Bella. I don't think there was a dry eye in the house."

I smiled, "We should get back to our seats." I was nervous to say the least as the announcers made their way to the stage for the final award.

"And now the moment you've all been waiting for. The final award of the night – artist of the decade. Over the years many greats have won this award and tonight's list of nominees is no exception."

I started breathing heavy. Edward grabbed my hand and Angela grabbed my other. I listened as they named off the nominees, including myself and many other very talented artists. I started to shake.

"And the artist of the decade award goes to…"

"_Bella! You've been nominated for artist of the decade!" Angela screamed._

"_No way! But I've been an artist for a decade!"_

"_I know. You are the youngest nominee in the history of this award."_

"_Gee thanks Ang. Now I feel my chanced dwindling."_

_She slapped my arm, "Are you kidding me? You had sold more albums than the other five nominees combined! Every new single and album you release goes straight to number one. You have the largest fan base anyone has ever seen!"_

_I rolled my eyes and continued playing the piano. I had to get my new song perfect._

"_Would you stop and listen to me for a moment please?"_

"_What Ang?"_

"_They want you to perform at the awards this year too."_

"_Really?"_

_She nodded and smiled at me._

"_Wow. That was unexpected."_

_She sat down next to me, "No matter what happens Bella. You will always have your music."_

I glanced at Ang as she whispered those exact words again to me. I closed my eyes and waited.

"… Bella Cullen!"

I let out a breath I didn't know I was holding as Edward wrapped his arms around me.

"I know you would get it Love."

I wiped away the tears as I stood. My four children clung to me in the aisle as I made my way up. I stood behind the microphone and sighed.

"This is beyond words, completely unexpected. I want to thank my friends and family for all their love and support, my manager Angela for never giving up on me, my kids for inspiring me every single day, my band for giving me new ideas and putting up with my crap, Alec for letting me live my dream, everyone at Twicon for letting me do things my way, and most importantly the love of my life, my husband Edward. Without you baby, none of this would have ever happened. I love you. Thank you all so much."

As I put my children to bed that night Edward came up behind me and wrapped his arms around me.

"Do you know how proud of you I am?"

I sighed and nodded. We walked to our bedroom and held one another close.

"I love you so much Bella. You have made all my dreams come true."

I kissed him and wrapped my arms around his neck, "You have no idea."


End file.
